i dOn'T aCiD rAp, bUT i RaP On aCid pArT 1

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by EBS Lova, Oct 3, 2010.

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  1. EBS Lova

    EBS Lova Psych Wards Finest

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2005
    Messages:
    125
    Mind over matter, find a loser i can shatter//
    the mad hadder, your a fad who can fahther//
    a fag who likes to get lathered in the shower//
    every hour, i demand more power from your man on the tower//
    don't be a coward, make your chin big like cower//
    you'll be pushin flowers if you try to devower//
    flow like water?????????????????????????????????

    Provalactics, proven tactics, doin this for practice//
    your gonna need more than pro activ after i shoot my kids all over this actress//
    did it to her on a black matress//
    the one thing you lack is acid baths kid???????


    Sittin here pacin back in forth across the mason dixon//
    cuttin heads like jason, losin patience, facin a 3 to 6//
    just hit the bricks lookin for a brick to flip//
    if the shoes fits wear it, marinara sauce on the state police barricks//
    its not fair whenever they laugh at your hair kid???????

    the walls are closin in, my balls are frozen again/
    all I got is this pen thats possessed by evil men/
    Im stressed, it feels like the end but I begin/
    just got out the pen, here we go again............
    test
  2. Radical Sun

    Radical Sun New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2010
    Messages:
    95
    "Provalactics, proven tactics, doin this for practice//
    your gonna need more than pro activ after i shoot my kids all over this actress//"

    Had me laughin'
    test
  3. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2001
    Messages:
    14,243
    this was pretty decent. however the multies in this ruined it for me. with so many, the content felt forced, and they didn't seem natural. I think the real art to writing using multies is to have them roll off the tongue to sounds as natural as possible. a decent piece nonetheless, I would only suggest to try sounding less forced and more natural.


    keep it up though, this had tonnes and tonnes of potential.
    test
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