I can't think of a name...

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by utsukushikumegami, Jun 18, 2003.

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  1. utsukushikumegami

    utsukushikumegami That's Ms. Goddess to you

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    ...for this poem...actually it's another one of those ones that didn't come out the way I wanted it to at all...I kind of just gave up on it...as you can see parts of it are in my sig...let me know what you guys think...


    The solitude envelops my heart
    Like thousands of broken wishes
    Gathering like greedy moths over the sun
    Plunging the world in a sheet of darkness

    Teardrops fall like acid rain onto a once beautiful world
    Tainting my mind with bitter thoughts of despair
    Just once, I want to be held in the arms of comfort
    Shutting out the wails of the lonely wind

    I reach out my arms toward love’s embrace
    But am greeted with a cold, empty breeze
    The scent of loneliness surrounds me
    Like wilting flowers on a humid summer day

    Love is cruel in its eternal beauty
    Like a rose and its thorns
    I cry without understanding my pain
    And it hurts…

    Slowly drowning in a pool of sorrow
    My feet are bound with chains of hate and jealousy
    I’m too weak to fight them any longer
    This is my dark destiny...
    test
  2. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    this was beautifully written.....sad....but i can relate. the imagary was great in this...i saw everything you described. may not have come out the way you wanted it too, but you gotta admit, it still came out pretty dope ;)
    test
  3. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    got damn...this is dope....i belive this is the second piece i've read from you...and i love them both....excellent

    Gathering like greedy moths over the sun

    great line....love your style of writting....so clean.....keep it up....
    test
  4. utsukushikumegami

    utsukushikumegami That's Ms. Goddess to you

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    thanks for the compliments!
    test
  5. varentao

    varentao New Member

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    This IS beautiful. In a downbeat, sad and actually very hard hitting way (i mean personally, for me..). I know this piece, at least what you're saying. I dig...

    ...this was very well written, man. Some real superb imagery used.

    ..resp..
    test
  6. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

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    as always, this was a beautiful piece of poetry... though it a bit depressing, it's full of imagery that puts the reader's mind right into the world from which your words come from... wonderful piece.
    test
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