How important is money in a relationship?

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by mr.rip, Jun 24, 2009.

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  1. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    The saying Money befor the honey seems to have taken a whole new meaning in present times. Accepted, Money is important. It pays the bills and buys the things we need - or don't. But where does money figure in love? How important is money in a relationship?
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  2. SeeSon

    SeeSon New Member

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    Its the end all. My ex girlfriend just broke up with me yesterday, not even 24 hours because of something that has the potential to be a money problem down the line.
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  3. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    Sorry to hear that SEE. What exactly was the problem with the money thing?
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  4. SeeSon

    SeeSon New Member

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    Thanks for the concern. Basically, I help my mom out financially and she said that as a wife she doesn't want a man that would have that obligation regardless of if there was enough money to help. There are deeper issues there, because we discussed it and I said I would never do it if my own house was lacking, but that wasn't relevant to her.
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  5. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    Money has always been an important factor in relationships/marriages. Men have typically been called to provide for their families, mainly because men were the only ones pulling in enough income to support their families. Now that womens' earning capacity has increased, that role has shifted and is more readily shared by both partners.
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  6. ~S*T*A*R*M~

    ~S*T*A*R*M~ Goddess

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    Money is important because it lets us do the things we want without having to sweat or worry or feel ashamed. I don't want to have to get "creative" all the time with dates or gifts. Sometimes, I just want to pay for what I need and keep it moving. It's one less thing to worry about.
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  7. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

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    If you're just barely getting by you can do better for yourself. I don't understand why ppl. get into relationships and they can hardly take care of themselves, but somewhat expect their s.o. to. Some ppl. don't mind it but in my own preference I would mind. Both parties should be wanting to better each other.

    In my previous I made the mistake of going on like it didn't matter...but when I realized he got comfortable it raised a lot of issues on top of issues. It's just sad. Be independent.
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  8. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    You literally did the right thing. As long as you took care of home first and as long as you both was in agreement with you helping out your mother then there shouldn't be a problem. No man or women wants to say their parent or parents struggle with something knowing they have the means to help them. You can never pay your parents back after all they took care of you all your life. So throwing them a bone here and there shouldn't be a problem as long as you took care of home befor you did it. In a marriage your wife/husband comes befor anything and anybody.
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  9. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    lol I know thats right haha. There's only so much creative you can have without spending money .
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  10. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    Sounds like you was mothering him instead of him standing on his own feet.
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  11. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    true but there are men in this world that can't handle the woman bring home more beacon then they do. i feel like thats ridiculous as long as things are getting taking care of it shouldn't matter who's bringing home the most money.
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  12. NwThtUKnwMe

    NwThtUKnwMe NAIVE

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    Money=Security

    Lets face it thats what women want. I don't mind working with my man to build our future but if he is expecting me to go to Hosea's feed the hungry with him because he is to lazy to get a job , its not going to work.

    Money is important to our survival but we don't have to be rich, I'm just not going to sit up in the dark with a lazy ass nigga!
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  13. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    Yeah, some guys do feel that way. I think some feel they arent living up to their role as a "provider" if they arent the main breadwinner, and with some its about power... if they cant "pay the cost to be the boss" they feel it undermines their authority as the head of the household. And no doubt there are women who exacerbate the problem by using their income/status to bellitle & emasculate their partner... make him feel like he's not valued or respected.
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  14. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    real talk right there haha

    Do you ever find yourself talking bout these topics i put in here when you log off?
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  15. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    I do. I talk about, deal with, research & write papers on these topics in my studies, and I also research family, gender & relationship dynamics on my own time just because I find it so interesting. So coming here is just an extension of what I already like to talk/read about & discuss IRL.

    For instance, I recently checked out a book by historian Stephanie Coontz, "Marriage, a History". Its really interesting reading about the ways the concepts of "marriage" & "family" have changed over the centuries, & the book does a good job arguing that the fairly recent concept of marrying primarily for "love" has been the single leading cause in the weakening of the institution of marriage.
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  16. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    I think marrying someone cause you love them is the only reason to get married but I'm old school. You have people now days that get married for money power and sex. You have nothing if love or God is not in the equation thats how i feel.
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  17. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    I dont agree that love is the only reason to marry, though I think its one of the top few reasons I would marry. Nor would I marry someone I didnt love.

    But there are Other factors that will have just as much of a profound impact (as "love" does) on the longevity of a marriage, so I try to be realistic and take those elements into account as well. I understand that marriage (in the legal sense) is essentially a business partnership, so I take a more practical approach, I want to make sure all of my bases are covered.

    Money (or lack theteof) is one of the top reasons couples divorce. Though I'm sure many of those couples (still) love eachother, love isnt enough to keep a partnership running.

    Why did you get married? What future/plans did you set for your family before you married?
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  18. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    thats a long story but to make it short out of love and at the time i was young didn't have any goals that all came later on in the game.
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  19. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    I hear ya. My goal is to have those goals in place before I take that step.
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  20. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    most def reached them but i have others i am trying to reach like having you bartend one of my parties lol in that fire lady outfit haha. and have same in that bee costume she had on in her pic taking peeps orders lol.
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