How do you breathe?

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by DethStryque, Dec 18, 2010.

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  1. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

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    Jun 9, 2007
    HOW DO YOU BREATHE?

    I actually freestyled this poem this morning,as a friend of mine had on her header "How do I breathe" and this poem grew full born into my head at that moment.Enjoy...







    HOW DO YOU BREATHE?...


    Sometimes life seems to suffocate us
    Crush the very air from our lungs with its vice grip
    Smother the very hope in our hearts with its despair
    Snap every vertebrae in the backbone of our resolve
    And demand as its tribute endleas oceans of tears...
    Only to cruelly crank the wheel on the torture rack of our existence even tighter.

    HOW DO YOU BREATHE?...

    When every forward step is overmatched by three in retrograde
    When every smile holds hidden daggers,or camoflauges weeping
    When every time you give your heart in complete devotion and utter passion to another person...
    They abandon it on the highways of lonely limbo and shatter it on the bitter rocks of deceitful betrayal.

    HOW DO YOU BREATHE?

    HOW DO YOU BREATHE?

    You breathe because...

    The velvety night is strewn with stars that shine with hope undimmed
    The night air is redolent with the scent of love brimming,laughter sparkling
    Because the sun rises every morning,keeping its promise of splendour unbroken
    And water pours from the heavens,ending the drought of parched Earth and parched souls
    You breathe because you need not Rage Against The Dying of the Light...
    The Darkness proves that Light is still here.And every morning renews this promise...and every night shines with this truth.
    You breathe because God DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES...

    And somewhere,someone you will meet is waiting for you...and breathing just for you...
    test
  2. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    raw power. I liked this line.

    In fact your words are mature and the choices are stark and horrifyingly beautiful.

    looking forward to reading more
    test
  3. TrackMakerz

    TrackMakerz TrackMakerz

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    Yeah that's a nice poem realtalk,I got some i need too post!
    test
  4. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

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    thank you very much for your kind words of support and constructive criticism! I have more to post,and I even have a striaight up old fashioned non-rhyming stack of stoiries that I'm writing that I would like to share for constructive criticism,but...that may be asking too much of this forum.Idk the rules and stuff...vets of this site lemme knowwhassup on straight up prose fiction onsite,please.
    test
  5. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

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    First off I need some tracks.Ya boi has a couple 2 disc mixtapes to drop by next summer.Secondly,thank you v ery much for your words of support! I look forward to reading your offerings as well...
    test
  6. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

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    this is over all a good written poem. Good word usage, good wordplay...good everything. But seriously how do you breathe?
    test
  7. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

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    Thank you for the props my brutha! And I just dropped I STAND ALONE,not 5 minutes after you posted.Maybe you'll like that one too...
    test
  8. xCimmiCx

    xCimmiCx ^¿~bless~?^

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    yea... this is the third of fourth piece of yours i read and still can't pick my jaw up off the floor... can i copy paste and print these and create my own coffee table hard back reader... please and thank you!!!

    The velvety night is strewn with stars that shine with hope undimmed
    The night air is redolent with the scent of love brimming,laughter sparkling
    Because the sun rises every morning,keeping its promise of splendour unbroken
    And water pours from the heavens,ending the drought of parched Earth and parched souls

    again, you paint such vivid portraits of the mind... honestly... vocab wasn't over the top like in a previous piece i read... your words flow like a river... some sections i read fast like *****s and some were just like effortlessly rolling over....... had me reading with anticipation til' the very end... beautiful!! clap clap bravo

    -CimmiC
    test
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