***********heaven Calling*************

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by mocha_licious, Jun 3, 2003.

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  1. mocha_licious

    mocha_licious New Member

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    broken alignment to the world
    as i stand
    dont wanna be on the same road as everyone else
    no car jus my feet carry me
    im tryna say that im on that singular path that almost no one chooses to travel
    where darkness lines gravel and the only light that reflects is my own
    yes im scared but humble
    scarred but at the same time knowing this is right
    maybe misshapen but i glow
    prolly mistaken by many for a fool, but im a keep on going
    alone i travel, but i will have my hand extended for others to grab onto
    what i hear in my ear no one can fathom without divine translations
    as i speak there are echoes, to remind me that this is a personal journey i have chosen and that i may be physically alone but My Lord is near and laying out water for me to drink as i get thirsty along the way....
    what nourishment i swallow are His written promises



    and i jus ask this to those watching me and whispering....
    WILL U COME WALK WITH ME?
    test
  2. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

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    you have a colloquial style.....i really like it.......

    "im tryna say that im on that singular path that almost no one chooses to travel
    where darkness lines gravel and the only light that reflects is my own"
    ^^^
    i liked that line....

    nice ending too......keep it up grrl ive been feeling your stuff.....

    i still hate your avatar......
    test
  3. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    That last line there was my favorite. Nice style, nice flow.

    one luv
    test
  4. mocha_licious

    mocha_licious New Member

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    ty...for the responses..mos def appreciated....
    test
  5. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    "im tryna say that im on that singular path that almost no one chooses to travel
    where darkness lines gravel and the only light that reflects is my own"


    ^^ I was feeling that, I found it to speak of truth and that of what you may expect in the "afterlife", it seems you're speaking about. Overall, I thought of this piece to being a nice voice and deliverance of what you take on what Heaven may bring and what you may bring to Heaven, etc. Great piece, boo. My blessings..
    test
  6. artassociatez

    artassociatez F*ck off

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    this line was my favorite...keep up the good work!
    test
  7. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    nice style, nice message. good job!
    test
  8. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    damn i slept on this....

    sorry.....thought i had responded already

    dope piece.....
    scarred but at the same time knowing this is right

    been there

    and i jus ask this to those watching me and whispering....
    WILL U COME WALK WITH ME?

    nice

    keep it up
    test
  9. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

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    Yeah...I'll come and take a walk with you...Lemme pick up some Gatorade, and some Gel soles, cuz it's gonna be a long hump. This joint to me says, "don't just stand there and look at me walk the path to righteousnous, walk with me fool". I can dig that.
    test
  10. mocha_licious

    mocha_licious New Member

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    test
  11. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

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    i'm feelin the poem as a whole... i apologize for myself and everyone who slept (and probably still will sleep) on this piece cuz its wonderful! great job!
    test
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