HE SAID:

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by bagglad, Apr 27, 2014.

  1. bagglad

    bagglad Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2005
    Messages:
    757
    HE SAID:

    Shortened my speech because it’s important to reach
    Cats and teach them stats but right now on the beach
    Wearing a hat chilling out, fashion is thrilling no doubt
    After I did rap had to kidnap the microphone must be out
    My mind I swear it talked back, caught in the act of daydreaming
    I see a girl very soft wanna carry her off on wheels while scheming
    On a Remote road love quotes a whole load she’ll probably be screaming
    And creaming the same time this dame is mine and my aim is to
    Find a way to her heart and make today a part of a cure for the flu
    I cough and sneeze her body so soft wanna squeeze she being
    Like RHIANNA in a sea breeze jest so sexy I really should be fleeing
    Before I fall in love with her one tall hug could stir my emotions
    Starting to feel extreme desire and this scheme require a potion
    From a true chick one kiss can do the trick but my head unaffected
    In bed fun to correct it want a ton love so check it want some protected
    Sex I guess let the merry party start almost every body part will be
    Used by me to get her hotter and proper I be Harry Potter and we
    Can be magic, she’s dressed in this facility to the best of her ability
    Prepared for love want an affair in the club in the air above silly
    Love talk flies like crows as the night grows in a rainbow of black
    Strobe lights a globe of bright as a ball of mirrors turn so exact
    Casting spotted reflection as plotted selection of persuasive act
    Shown in a slow dance for romance and no chance of escape for
    Girls with cake, no doubt this here is an atmosphere on some radar
    Mood only a shining star can improve such a place where much lace
    Exist I can jest taste a kiss from her lips and I’m starting to trip in space
    Adored with scrip mind aboard a ship but my boat is sinking need
    Quotes I’m thinking must talk sweet caught in the heat, hard to proceed
    Because I’m born to adorn her lips and thighs because she has hips
    And pies her beauty rip the skies of my eyes and I’m hypnotize in flip
    Mode like BUSTER RHYMES AND RAH DIGGA so far can’t figure
    This mystery that’s leaving blistery thoughts in my head it paints a bigger
    picture,
    test
  2. johnkav

    johnkav New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2014
    Messages:
    11
    Yeah its very good, if I was to criticise one thing it would be your rhyme schemes, maybe try and use 3 or 4 syllable rhyme schemes to give the verse more fullness, very good lyrics though keep it up

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk
    test

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