Gotta love throwbacks.

Discussion in 'Writer's Block' started by absolute zero, Nov 1, 2004.

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  1. absolute zero

    absolute zero Among the living

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2004
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    11,770
    Here's the deal.

    You post two poems of your original work. (please don't make them too long, or no one is gonna actually look...)

    First poem is an early work of yourself. Try and find the earliest poem you wrote, and post it here.

    Second poem is a newer one (preferably no older than a month old.)

    Just so the poets can get an idea of how much we all grow....

    Date's are optional (have to be for those of you who don't date ya shit)....but if ya have em...tell us the time frame we're lookin at...

    I'll be the first .....
    test
  2. absolute zero

    absolute zero Among the living

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2004
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    11,770
    Here's my older piece....created on 5-18-2000


    Heard It All Before​


    Things will get better
    if not then they can't get worse
    if that's the bright side....
    I can't live like this anymore.
    struggle is a term that we throw around loosely
    But these are the same people who live in the high life
    they act sad when one of their cars dies.
    and we just pray ours will start
    and we get no calls because our phones are in a closet
    packed up because money isn't stacked up
    to the ceiling like yours
    and now i can't be mad
    even if you didn't deserve it
    but will you care...
    do you care if i think my life's not worth it
    maybe i'm not perfect
    but it will all get better wont it?
    no.
    i've heard it all before



    And here's a new one...Created on 10-4-2004


    Death and Exposure​



    For two who have lived intamacy, only limited​
    To the sentences i have been senseless to speak of twice.
    I am but a man resting on my own heart to die.
    And for tears I have and have yet to cry, and will tonight.
    I write blind.

    For...

    You who has seen every part of me, as I showed
    You when we were closest. to now glancing into
    A mirror of shadows, only to see a fool's reflection.
    For trust: With no exception. Love's deadliest weapon.
    And to ache into the sky as you aim in my direction.

    For...

    Us...a bond as bond is free. To shock and awe
    Of what you've done to me. As we kiss and race away
    From each other to opposing poles of the Earth.
    As the stench of your lies cripples me into an infinite slow.
    I remember the snow that fell the day we met, aside
    The shores of "you and I".

    I see the end is clearly in sight. So I'll cry my last tears for you.
    Tonight.


    Good God, what four years can do to ya....
    test
  3. Sole Sovereign

    Sole Sovereign Hungry But Never Starving

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2001
    Messages:
    2,931
    "Known World

    Use myrrh and frankincense in space, with less to give.
    An eighth planet called Rizq's scripted testament, rids our pestilence.
    Ironically, heaven's nest has since pigeonholed the best of men,
    Amidst sequestering I pinch my blessings and then count 'em on life's sincerity gauge.
    In the Belly of the Beast, cut out in night's cesarean phase.
    Spell of Leviathan's hypnotizing trends ignite Aquarian Age.
    Here in the days and time of death, behold the vision.
    Mind controlling Christians, tell you red is violet and fold the prism.
    Play mind, of clay -primed by molded wisdom,
    from the Illyuwn galaxy -combine tri-solar system.
    38 moons, 19 planets sited, from Uhur's satellite lid,
    sent from Kenya to X-ray the sky of your stagnant life bliss.
    Backstroke half note in a skeptic pool
    Spelunker adjacent mines and splash both with a septic jewel.
    I rubbed Utopian lube, on Mother Nature's fallopian tubes
    It's beautiful music, my progeny wrote me a tune.
    And I'm here to save the music of my sacred children.
    144,000 will escape the killing if fate is willing.
    Still during Yuletide you'll dine on full swine.
    So in a sense,
    I've pulled blind men on two sides and handed 'em wool eyes.​


    That was a REALLY old piece, like a year and a half old... and here is my favorite of my recent works

    "My Friend's Loss"
    a friend of mine committed suicide in the car that i drive
    i know, 'cause i helped the motherfucker decide
    he'd climb across sidewalks with eyeballs sparking
    on double buck beer and poppy plant offspring
    touring the moments before mornings, stars sing
    unto the sound of a man tying off with windbreaker drawstring
    remorse brings less ballast than forearm markings
    so he stayed way up weighed down, full of dry dark things
    crawl spaces on his brain, tossed aces in the rain
    we played spades, discussing hate, patience and change
    painted his claims with broad strokes and scrawled hope
    on whores throats who bummed smokes without saying his name
    'cause they'd never heard it, he was always just the guy
    shoved inside the rusty mitsu with dusted eyes
    crushed time into comfortable speedbumps to slide
    down his face, base tasted like grace, like love, like pride
    didn't trust the spies on the bus, so he would drive
    til his fingers blistered, whispering the trunk is alive
    i got blind drunk to hide that i could see the skin
    splitting on his hands every other time he breathed in
    teasing residue from foil and envelopes most evenings
    pole vaulting off the planet, nose wide, thumbs bleeding
    reluctant demons had their hands forced by my friend
    used to keep a green notebook under his belt for times when
    the spies' sunglasses started showing up in puddles
    he'd muddle through bundles of what his mind shed
    and underline red, now, i kinda wish that i'd said
    at night, syringes look way too fucking much like pens
    we'd drive spread out on listerine and responses
    from strangers who said we weighed on their conscience
    cracked his knuckles just a little too constant
    when i said remember, you got your hands full of your options
    clocking 70 miles a day, filling the tank by halves
    used the extra cash for quarter colas, cheap crank and grass
    when he drank, the dash turned into his wife
    drove with his fingers inside her, searching for life
    we were a spike in the pulse of collective experience
    always two shots from crashing, seven from getting serious
    bent and periodically i noticed the spies in the bushes
    i'd turn up the radio and look for dimes in the cushions
    but he couldn't ignore the war, or even find a cure
    i knew what he needed the length of rubber hose pipe for
    but my own chords had been struck, i saw, and i poured
    while my friend died in my car behind the bike store
    the call came, all framed in more smugness than shock
    month passed before i picked my car up from the cops
    now i drive some days, most nights, thumb rubbing the locks
    with his green notebook and deck of cards riding shot
    i got an old car, dry throat, and blood on my hands
    windows down, middle finger inside a miller lite can
    trying to set the world on fire tonight while i stand
    and put the cigarette lighter in the air for my man...
    test
  4. absolute zero

    absolute zero Among the living

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    Oct 28, 2004
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    Damn, Forword....your first piece reminds me of somethin i would write...like the style or whatnot...and i remember tha new one....good shit
    test
  5. DaJackle

    DaJackle ThoughtS ProcessinG

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2003
    Messages:
    498
    -=Life's Desires=-

    January 8, 1999


    Life, full of suprises, and unexpected twist...
    Can you always be ready?
    Will you be discourage or grow stronger?

    Can there be a time where life is perfect?
    A time when you fulfill all hopes and dreams...
    No more wanting or needing...
    No longer grasping for that perfect momment.
    No longer confined by rules and restricted by beliefs.

    Will there be such a time?
    Where nothing else matter,
    Where rules and moral issues
    Are broken for the love of your life.

    Yet surprises may happen.
    With each unexpected twist,
    New beginnings open...
    Will you grab it or let it fade?
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    [Killer Tendencies] [october 7, 2004]

    ocean blue
    was the make up
    the sky wore
    as a momento of it's divorce
    from the shifted earth

    gifted tears
    born lakes of happiness
    but hinted
    a tint of fear
    and a molecule of blood
    welted with a few drops

    the blood was tainted
    malice formed in its nucleus
    a retalliation
    of a decaying past
    towards failed sperms

    mistakes suffered
    by mistaken affection
    and the lucky ones
    that shared his agony
    that shared is hatered
    will share his malice

    a select few
    from billions of vibrant infants
    his children
    the drop
    will graze their skin as though
    gentle touches mourn dead leaves
    injecting the pores
    making their heart bleed
    and their brain
    to only breed chaos

    since i came out of my mother's womb
    i was always fascinated with
    what the heart
    that labored love for my father
    looked like

    at the playground
    while kids toyed with sand
    a friend gave a toy in my hand
    he said, "you are special,
    don't tell them about me.
    or they'll put me in a box."
    so i kept silence
    in the back of my pocket

    he showed me
    how to use my first weapon
    at the age of ten
    i felt blood
    trickle down my palms
    from a starving kitten
    and took his soft heart
    and shared it with my first valentine

    it was the first time i saw fear face to face
    and she made love with my heart as
    her high-pitched scream harmonized the air
    and her cheeks drown by tears
    made the memory orgasmic
    and my friend
    showed me new tricks
    and i repeat
    and repeat
    again and again
    and I rode the evening
    with silence
    in my pocket

    love
    never
    gave me
    an orgasm
    test
  6. Sykda

    Sykda New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2004
    Messages:
    289
    My first poem ever... I been writing raps at the time for a month...

    6-25-04

    There Was

    This is the new start
    These are there problems.
    There was a boy...There was a girl
    There was a man
    That excited this women in certain ways
    There was a city with a block that had a particular a house
    There was an argument then switched to a crime scene
    There was a death
    Then a funeral that brought many sad faces
    This is the end
    There will be a new beginning with many new people
    Mom is now in heaven...Life goes on.


    10-31-04
    And well.. Just look at one of my short stories.. I wrote one last night...


    Big Improvement I think.. BIGGGG!!!
    test
  7. Thrilla-Ali

    Thrilla-Ali Dapper Don

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    4,870
    the cat fell out the hat
    the bat fell out the mat
    test
  8. absolute zero

    absolute zero Among the living

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    ^no bullshit please.
    test
  9. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 1999
    Messages:
    2,986
    ^LMAO!!!!!....HAHAHAHA....I agree

    anyway woooord up this is a dope idea BrokenZreo...I wish I could dig up some of my very old stuff....oh snap wait I do have this poem I wrote back in 9th grade?!?!?!! about a gun

    let me see if I can dig that up right quick

    MY VERY FIRST POEM!!?!!!!!!??!?!!?....I found it

    Guns (Satire poem… written in 4/6/96?!?!?!?!)

    What if everyone had a gun?
    Cops would be fater cause crooks won’t run
    We all be shoting up things just for fun
    We all be dropin dead one by one
    People be shoting at the sun, shotting at the moon
    Kids playin real doom in their bedroom
    Pop pop say goodbye to hip hop and say hello to
    2pac up in heaven 1997,
    last year here
    yes the end is near
    don’t run in fear.
    Cops would stand clear
    When a bank is being rob by a mad mob
    “What about Bob”
    0h he dunking in the store loading up his colt 44
    people sleeping on there floors
    right behind there doors
    late at night
    kids having a gun-fight
    dropping down left and right
    kids shoting at each other
    shoting at there own mothers
    thinking that there cowboys and there gun is there toy
    oh what joy it would be
    to wear bulletproof vests for P.E.
    and everywhere else out in society
    who needs korate
    when you got your gun
    everyones job on earth would be to rank #1
    most pets would be dead, all of the guard dogs
    the earth would be dirty the sky filled with smog
    and gun smoke
    don’t choke
    where your mask
    that’s your daily task
    and when your gun is no good ain’t no big loss
    go to the ocean and give it a good toss
    get a new one at 7/11
    from the boss kavin
    buy bullets like gum
    or steal them from some homeless bum
    and if hes real dumb you could take his gun
    traid it for some rum get drunk
    put all dead bodys in ya trunk
    or leave them in the street
    so the birds can eat if there not all ready
    exthink
    no husbands beating on there wifes
    to afraid to loose there life
    and who needs a nife
    when you got a uza
    running down the block shotin up things like in the movies
    bullets go up come down like skittles
    a rainbow of flavor coming down they hit you in your middle
    and you life could be took
    by some homeless crook
    every day you gotta look outside
    to see if there any drivebys


    .................................

    Shield of Faith (Ephesians 6)
    God’s Armor pt 5

    Alone in the dark – comes poisonous darts
    A noise and a spark – so close to your heart
    Your suppose to be tough – when the serpent ghost starts to rush
    Torn apart in the dust – you slowly look up
    The blows come abrupt – attacking more then just once
    You try to run or duck – but you can’t dodge these cuts
    Under the flesh you get touched – your spirits corrupt
    Game over you lost – should of had more trust
    In the cross of Jesus – Salvation freed us
    A deal was made – so that you will be saved
    There’s no need to feel afraid – he gave us the “Shield of Faith”
    Wield it great in the fight – for the shield is your light
    Where darkness and snake bites – are just talk and hype
    For with every strike you walk more righteous
    When scary nights come – and teary eyes flush
    Hold your shield tight plus – remember the words of Jesus Christ
    “He is the way, the truth, and the life” – Joy and more abundance
    Heaven will never forfeit – so my breathen don’t quit
    This spiritual war is – already won with
    A seal covenant – God’s kingdom comes quick
    We will love his holy government – trust in this
    Let faith be your front defense – against the serpents hiss
    You won’t be harmed with words or fists – search for evidence
    Perfecting holiness – directly heaven sent
    A package of hope – fed ex to your spirit
    Attracting a dove – let faith shape an image
    Why panic in love – this race is already finish
    Just trust in the Lord – prepare for the war
    And be concern with – keeping the Faith
    Not with keeping the score


    (June 16, 2004 – poem 9)
    test
  10. absolute zero

    absolute zero Among the living

    Joined:
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    word----i see the growth.....

    good shit oddie
    test
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