given up on you

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by *Princess*, Aug 8, 2003.

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  1. *Princess*

    *Princess* skantless bitch

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    im not gonna be like your mom
    or even your dad
    an everyone else...
    and im not gonna try to be.
    2 years old
    an lonely....
    no one that loves you..
    cause they said they hated you.
    i cant even imagine
    the shit she put you through
    never gave you an example to look up to
    livin with the devil
    since you were 6
    im surprised you survived this long...
    everyone tellin you
    how much your not wanted,
    and how far your not gonna go
    how you'll always come back home,
    cause no one else wants you...
    all your friends left you,
    cause they wanted their dope more
    you were just another head to feed
    right?
    they wanted you there
    to kick the others ass
    all that was true...
    till now.
    im not gonna be like your mom...
    or even your dad
    an everyone else...
    thats given up on you.



    this was written for my boyfriend i wrote it a while ago, i dunno why feels like somethins missin from it i dunno tho...please reply!!!
    thanks
    test
  2. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

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    37,722
    please tell me this isnt the same dude you write those other poems about.....=(

    seemed like a vent piece to me pretty much......just needed to get some stuff out...

    peace and blessings grrl
    test
  3. Dark_Angel

    Dark_Angel Dark_Angel

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    Jul 15, 2003
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    i liked this peice, i read your other ones to your boyfriend, seems like a bit of a change of heart, but as Feme said seemed just like a peice to get stuff out, all the same it was nice
    test
  4. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    seem like this was a lil keystyle, and like feme said to get off ya chest. keep it up
    test
  5. *Princess*

    *Princess* skantless bitch

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    im sorry i feel stupid for asking but whats keystlye? i know about hiaku and all that stuff...but when i keep hearing everyone talk about keystlye pieces...and i've never heard of them before...
    test
  6. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

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    Well, to me, it would seem that you are telling him that you are going to be there. But what you are missing is what you are going to be...You can say all the things that you are not going to be, but what about all the things that youare going to be???Anyway, I liked this piece, and dont feel stupid, I too dont know what Keystyle is, lol...but I liked this piece...
    test
  7. *Princess*

    *Princess* skantless bitch

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    wow...thanks for the reply...i know understand whats missing thanks for the help
    test
  8. Quant'm PhysX

    Quant'm PhysX Kundalini Poltergeist

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    I agree with Xero with what is missing, but I still feel the sincerity in your words...very touching piece...much love

    peace
    test
  9. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    a keystyle is something you write off the top.....most likely something u write when your in the realm..just off the top of your head.........anyways....nice drop you got right here..very heartfelt...keep up the good work
    test
  10. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    i liked it...i agree, seemed like a venting piece, but still it had a good message in it, good job.
    test
  11. unspoken1

    unspoken1 Revolutionary Wordsmen

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    very nice piece...i enjoyed it a lot nice job
    test
  12. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

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    What can I say that everyelse has not already said?..lol..I loved it...keep droppin

    peace
    test
  13. *Princess*

    *Princess* skantless bitch

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    thanks for all the replies
    test
  14. tk2oo3

    tk2oo3 New Member

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    whats missing? convert more of that explaining to pictures.. if u jus keep that in mind when u write itll all come in due time.. you know jus give lil glimpses.. like you lookin at him through a window or somethin jus describe it like that but it aint gotta be 3rd person.. i dont agree wit sayin that you need to explain what u goin be instead of what u not goin be.. i think the styles fine, aight this was a very good piece, definitely the best emotion ive seen from anybody in the realm..
    test
  15. Imperial Khãn

    Imperial Khãn New Member

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    did seem like a vent, but its felt too...nice piece
    test
  16. *Princess*

    *Princess* skantless bitch

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    is a vent bad?? cause most of my poems are me venting...
    test
  17. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

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    No vents arent bad, in a way they are therapeutic, for me anyway, If Im pissed, down or depressed a vent really helps. So keep doing your thing because I know that most everyone loves your work, including me, I know a people personally who had a tear in they eye from reading your pieces, not because its a bad piece..but because you are that damn good at what you do.

    So keep droppin...much love

    peace
    test
  18. misspimp

    misspimp a.k.a KATURAH

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    I loved this piece...i could feel the emotions pouring as i read it...nice

    mad love
    test
  19. *Princess*

    *Princess* skantless bitch

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    awwe thats sweet thanks~!
    test
  20. Rekar

    Rekar Old Glory

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    ^gppd job baby...
    test
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