"Give me a call sometime" wtf?

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by ~S*T*A*R*M~, May 15, 2007.

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  1. ~S*T*A*R*M~

    ~S*T*A*R*M~ Goddess

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    Why do men approach women, make conversation, compliment her, then have the audacity to say "so let me give you my number........." My first thought is: Are you f-ing crazy? My second thought is he has no intention of pursuing anything, and just wants to selfishly feed his ego at my expense.

    So, should a woman ever really make the first call? Especially when she was approached by the guy? Based on my research [look], I find that guys love to say "I'd like a woman to pursue me" but I think that's a big stinky load of horseshit. I think men like the attention and like an opportunity to be lazy, but will quickly lose interest in that woman, than if they did the chasing. I figure that a guy has to realize, "Hey, I like her, so I'm going to put in the work to get her." So, if a woman does all the work for them, there's no guarantee he was even feeling you in the first place.

    I used to think there were no rules to dating, but screw that. I've realized first-hand that if you make that call, say bye bye to the possibility of anything worthwhile.

    Am I wrong? I'm really intersted in what the guys have to say (be honest!).
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  2. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    I never used to offer my number... I would ask for hers and if she said, "no," I was out... and if she said, "lemme get your number," then I'd be like, "why don't we exchange numbers?" Most of the time that worked... but whenever they rejected, I wasn't the type to keep pressing... I'd move on to the next girl, sometimes right in front of her... "excuse me, can i whisper at you for a minute?"

    You just like playing hard to get, Starm... chill out, relax, let your hair down.
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  3. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    If you don't feel comfortable making the first call, I say don't... maybe you could thank him and offer to exchange your number as well.. that is, if you actually want him to have it. I think some guys might offer their number as a way to be lazy and skirt having to put themselves out there, but some are just trying not to be too pushy.

    I don't mind if a guy gives me his number... takes some of the pressure off of me; like when a guy I'm not feeling asks for the number and I have to come up with an excuse not to give it to him... or when I give in and let him have it, only to spend the next few weeks avoiding his calls. If he gives me his number and I want to talk to him, I can call (and block my number, just in case I decide I don't wanna hear from him after that! lol)... and if I'm not feeling him, I don't have to ever be bothered by him again.

    All in your perspective, ma!
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  4. seraph

    seraph New Member

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    hmm, good thread

    personally, if a girl calls me up first - i digs. i find it kinda nice that she gon take time out to call me, when she could be doin other things wit her time. Its a good look. And it DOES boost my confidence and is gon make me go outta my way to repay the 'slickness' lol

    although, the typical situation involves me callin first. Which is cool too, but that shit is played imo. Its 2007 - i like a women that break tradition.

    i agree though, dudes that throw their number 'round on some 'call me' shit is stoopid and immature.
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  5. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    who calls who first?

    that's petty and lowkey immature to me. i used to have my lil rules, where i wouldn't approach a guy, and how i wouldn't call him, and i would wait a certain amount of time before doing so, or i would act disinterested...games, games, games. im over it.

    If I want his number, I go for it. If I want to hang out with him, I go for it. that applies to calling too...if a guy's mentality is to the point where he's like "oh she called first...this girl must not want me to work, and is going to hand everything to me" then i really don't need him. he's just a guy. whatever. Also, I'm very up front and honest like "ok...what do you want this to be...do you just want to have sex, do you want to date, or do you just want to be friends?" or "I'm feeling you...are you feeling me back?"...no ones a mind reader...just be straight up.

    i don't know though...that's just me. I've only recently started doing the above....but it has proved to be successful thus far. i dunno, i just don't take it that seriously...whatever is gonna happen is gonna happen if you call first or not. if he acts dumb just because you took the initiative and called, then he's obviously a moron. his lost. next.
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  6. starm is quickly approaching the podium for lady with most attitude in the delight, sami is still on top, with tight eyes mellowing out a lil in third, but she would still bring you down 8 pegs if you tried to get slick.

    Starm why are u so cutthroat and bothered about other peoples (in this case mens) motives and what they want from you?

    I'd never say " let me give you my number" and I dont think many men would assume they could get away with such audacity. I wouldn't because its not very respectful and it would (for the kind of woman I like) come across to her that I had no idea about personal space. I want her to respect me when we first meet not think im a creep trying to boulster myself through her affirmation of my ego.
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  7. spanish jay

    spanish jay hustle hard

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    mannnnn its 2007 mami...if your liking a dude why cant you call??

    yall scream that independant crap daily but on certain shit its like..."thats a mans job"...if you like him and have his number CALL HIM...yall probably missing out on some coo chicos...stop living in the 40's
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  8. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    Word... no playing games.

    When a shorty is playing games, I just hurry up and get the panties and then be out... or move on to the next one.
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  9. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    ^ Is that why you never called me back after that magical night in Cancun? I still have your upside-down feet prints on my dashboard... I shed a tear everytime it gets foggy in my car and they start to show :-(
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  10. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    ha ha ha... Actually, I lost the number... but I kept the panties... they're in my trophy case with all of the others... you had the fuschia thong with the ribbon on the back, didn't you?
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  11. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    What's crazy is I really do have a fuschia pair with ribbons on the sides.

    *wondering if I really did give K Diddy the bidness on my last Cancun trip and was too high to remember*

    Do guys really keep trophy cases? Not necessarily panties, but other types of momentos to remind them of their conquests?
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  12. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    Nice visual... fuschia or pink, in general, looks so good against brown skin... and white, too... it's the light/dark color constrast thing that heightens the effect... probably why I like watching so much interracial porn.

    I'm sure some guys do keep a collection of panties or mementos... I don't... when you're single and juggling many different women, how do you explain that if she finds it?

    True story. I was dating this girl once and I said to her, "I was going through my laundry the other day and I found a pair of your panties with my clothes." Well, when I gave them to her, she said, "this isn't mine... I don't even wear a large." I said, "what? This has to be yours." "No silly, look." and then she turned around and showed me the tag on her thongs which did indeed read "M" for medium. "You've been fuckin' around on me, haven't you?" "No, you know what? I musta picked this up out of the dryer at the laundry mat... somebody left it in the dryer and I grabbed it by mistake." Because at the time, I was living in an apartment and I went to the laundry mat to wash my clothes. I really don't recall messing with a chick during that time who was big enough to wear an L in panties, so that had to be what happened. It was funny at the time, though.
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  13. Dark_Sun

    Dark_Sun Phantom of the Forums

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    Everything here is right on point. Some people make dating and the implications to dating appear as if you need to have a doctorate to participate. This is a new era. Whatever goes will go so don't worry so much about the implications to subtleties and go with the flow of the dating experience because you are gonna miss out on the best thing for you if you keep holding little and insignificant things against a potential soul mate. I would rather take a chance on finding out if that person is the one that God sent for me than to toss their number out the window just because they made it available to you without you asking for it.
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  14. Speedy Gunzalez

    Speedy Gunzalez Awareness is my Alias

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    Sista samii droppin crucial knowledge!!!

    Furthermore, STARM you need to let go of some of these gender stereotypes that you're holding tight to. I realize they are rooted in your experiences, but you need to check that shit!

    On a side note, my brother and I are thinking about making a trip to Toronto for the Carribana (sp?). I was wondering if you planned on going this summer.
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  15. B. Fury

    B. Fury Active Member

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    This is it right here. It has nothing to do with "a girl doing all the work". The last thing guys want to be are bugaboos...not to mention it is a waste of their time when they can just move on to another girl more worthwhile. Still, most get the hint after the three calls and no response rule. Nowadays, it's way too easy to contact people with cell phones (voicemail, missed calls).

    So if a guy receives a phone call from a girl he gave his number to, then he'll think Ah, she must like me! and proceed on showing interest himself.
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  16. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    me with the most attitude??

    gosh, so many people to thank! of course all the little people, that i step on daily to keep this title.

    wow, who else?

    jp lol
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  17. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    ^No, Samii you remind me of myself when I was your age... a ball of fire, just eager to take on the world... having passion is a double-edged sword, though... rage and overzealousness are on the opposite end.
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  18. GREEN

    GREEN Urban Hippie

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    lol

    I usually end the conversation with a, "Yo, hit me up or I'll call you" type shit. That usually works out reaaaal fine. That's how you get the exchange going. But seriously, why trip if the guys passes you his number? If I did that and the girl DID call me back (doesn't neccesarily mean a next day call-back), I'd be more than interested in her knowing that she was interested enough to make the call.
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  19. whats...with...all the...
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  20. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    i love ellipses. they are like one of the most perfect components of grammar when typing dialogue...loves it
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