[GARBAGE]Self-Explanitory

Discussion in 'RSTL Grudge Matches and Tournaments' started by xX_NASTY_Xx, Mar 29, 2009.

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  1. Joro

    Joro New Member

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    Ok Kross...not sure what point you were making....anyway I'm no 'alias', I been Joro since 2002 on here.

    And oh yea Guttso felt the need to get at me too in his Championship.

    Forget all about me and my opinions and get back to free-verse poetry.
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  2. Joro

    Joro New Member

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    I'm sure your friends would tell you your track is better. What are you getting at...

    Anyway I have no trouble writing with rhythm so writing to a beat isn't wack to me.

    Main Stream - Don't expect cogency or consistency from people here.
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  3. Joro

    Joro New Member

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    This is free-verse poetry

    Nom doesn't know himself, what it is

    So he accuses me of ignorance

    what a kid *smh*.....free-verse poems are:

    Poems that don't follow strict rhyme patterns

    Or rhyme at all

    But still recognizable as poetry

    Cuz of the overall complexity of the idea presented

    "Now, let go of me!"

    Yes, my nutz can talk
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  4. Joro

    Joro New Member

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    And that was exactly my criticism.

    Maybe in the past people have said, "That sounded off-beat, but maybe you spit it different." But I argued that it was so un-rhythmic and devoid of wordplay that it was poetry, and not rap.

    Subsequently you started a debate of whether flow is relevant to text. *shrug*

    Is it? Maybe, maybe not. But this IS rap music dot com.
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  5. Joro

    Joro New Member

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    I'm here cuz I'm bound to tell the truth.....

    and I know it hurts you as you feel the constant need to move my posts, rather than let anybody respond.

    Carry on, knuckleheads....
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  6. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

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    amazing shit, fuck.

    pain:
    i was trying to pick out a few lines that you could've gone without, so you didn't have to go over the limit. but to be honest, i couldn't. every single line had something to do with the building up of the story, and what a story it was. almost on the level of 'dance with the devil' by immortal tech. especially the last bit "because Peter is I ..."

    picture was used to perfection here. both of them perpetuate a haunting story to be told, and it was told very well. i just couldn't get over this part by you.

    "The one they were beaten till they named him dad,
    Had a little room where he would "play" with Nat,
    With rain down her cheeks, heart tearing, she'd cower,
    The smile that carried a flower became buried in showers,"


    that's some powerful shit right there, i don't care what anyone says. the smile that carried a flower, gotdamn.

    face:
    one of the many who used the same pic this week, but it's good to see all the different perspectives of different people about the same picture. it was pleasing to read your piece, and this line here of yours gave me goosebumps.

    "Cold and frigid, the three left her naked in the middle of december
    I wonder when she looks into my eyes, what face does she remember..."


    what the fuck, lol. i wonder when she looks into my eyes, what face does she remember. on some 'pac 'baby don't cry' shit here, placing the reader in the woman's shoes.

    wordz:
    damn, let me just use this part of your rap to introduce your piece here.

    "But eventually, dimented tendencies steadily effected him mentally
    couldnt let it be, ' some men are free, why cant i be them intead of me
    I'll never be wut im ment to be especially with the death of my pedigree
    am I cursed gentically?, is there a better me? or will i die pathetically
    am I my own enemy? or can I overcome this aesthetically?
    cuz if I dont find the remedy it'll be the death of me'
    luckily his dads words were cemented in his memory
    'the mind is kenetic energy n its up to u to just set it free'"


    wooooooooooot, damn that's alot of multis and it all made perfect sense aswell. ghostwrite for fat joe, he might pick up where pun left off lol. your choice of words in all your pieces i've read are close to perfect, a fitting username indeed.

    my vote:
    it hurts to vote against the latter two, but a vote must be casted. if i could cast a draw three-way i would, but overall i think pain took this because of his story and the way he told it. it was fast-paced, and going over the word limit didn't do much damage at all as i didn't realize.

    my vote = pain, then wordz and face as a draw.

    i'm surprised nobody talked about a murder, since a bunch of crows are called murder ...

    [turn] ...
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  7. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

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    guttso:
    thank god i didn't take liq's spot this week, lol. nicely done, as in the concept of your piece was very clever. i think 80% used this pic that the both of you used, but not one of them told it like you did. talking as the crow, and then the little kid - perfect. described the scene at hand very well, an entire scene was reeling when i was reading.

    i liked what you were saying about the murder of crows, but "Navigation systems that put NASA to shame" was a bit over the top. crows aren't that good lol. "The boy looks up and he’s chasing his dream" fit well with the picture, and the quote that ace asked you guys to include. killed two crows with one stone.

    liq:
    i loved it, even though you claim it was a rushed piece. there were certain areas in the writing where i could tell you weren't trying as hard you could've, such as.

    "rising an diving as a hawk while its fighting
    climbing an climbing to strike in lightly
    like the sparrows at play wheeling n carting"


    that, imo was the weaker part of your piece. but overall i enjoyed it.

    "the culture has become a carcass left to rot
    the vultures have come to harass the albatross"


    perfect, couldn't have put it better myself. used the imagery of the picture to describe the theme of your entire piece in those two lines. and most of all, you used "murder of crows" haha.

    my vote:
    my vote goes to guttso, for the better use of vocab, flow and the use of the picture used. liq had a strong piece on the death of hip hop, but i wish he wasn't in a rush for this week's piece. imagine the damage you could've done son ...

    [turn] ...
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  8. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

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    yung:
    i enjoyed the story, and the concept behind it. i was hoping you'd use "knowledge can protect" as the main running theme. but the story of struggle was nice, and it fit well with the quote ace told you to use. the vocab was simple, but flow was on point.

    shadow:
    contrary to yung, your vocab was complex, but flow was not all there. but i loved the part where the girl was dying.

    "Tears overwhelm my eyes like rain as its moisture cries in pain
    You left our ties in strain yet, by your side, my heart tries to remain"


    i enjoyed the haunting aspect of your story.

    my vote:
    shadow might've had a disadvantage due to a busy work week, but i still enjoyed his verse more. even though troy's story was more appealing and powerful, shadow got me with the nice choice of vocab. vote = shadow ...

    [turn] ...
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  9. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    yung troy--

    i thought your work was very unimaginative. you picked the greatest stereotype and prescribed it to the picture...this had Africa all over it. it read like a show of Oprah Winfrey, needless to say i seen this before and wasn't offered anything new in your rendition...the discovery channel is making the next one.

    your rhymes were the only thing i enjoyed from the piece however elementary they were. what killed you wasn't your word playing, but your uninspired imagination, which could of been the opposite, considering the many facets of human nature and expression. stand out. in short, Africans have a better life that the prescribed notions cast in American society. they deserve better.







    shadow--

    8 in 10 would have written about a love now gone to the ''other side'' and the emotions that suit. you were one of the eight. i was not to pleased with this. moreover, when i saw this week's magazine i was predicting that this would be the case right when i saw it...and here it is. however, you pulled together some real insight to the human heart and the mood was set...which helped put feeling to the picture and not the other way around.

    but...

    your rhymes were very pleasing to the ear. very much so. and what a surprise it was on the ending rhyme scheme. it was gravy. my only complaint is that your style, judging form this work, is very linear in ryhems...a single beat...extend them next week from; ''bu dunt''...to ''bu dunt ta dunt ta dunt dun dunt dun dun'', for example and ill orgasm.




    vote = shadow
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  10. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    fail

    you're not signed in
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  11. Main Stream

    Main Stream The Conversensationalist

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  12. hYpOconDriAdIcT

    hYpOconDriAdIcT New Member

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    Ok.. wut happened.. why am I in a triple threat contendership match for the second week in a row????
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  13. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    fail. edit; will post feed back / votes here.
    --awaiting complete drops--
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  14. L. Kross

    L. Kross His Highness

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    lol@acting like shadow warriorFs isnt wack because idiot votes put him above someone whos good.

    i could crush this little nigga with a picture of my dick any day of the week. dont get it twisted. the fourth of your verse i did read shadow, was wack. dont quit your day job homeboy
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  15. L. Kross

    L. Kross His Highness

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    yeah i do feel that the voters were bein stupid, cause i couldnt even sit through readin his verse it was so bad. so yeah, i feel like mua fuckas voted against me cause i admitted i rushed it, had i not said that no one woulda said shit about my verse.

    an hes not innocent cause he's actin like he doesnt know why im pissed an he's actin like he can actually beat me or somethin. lmao, battle me audio pussy. lets see you pull an upset on any bullshit i record for you, faggot. dont act nice with your wack ass
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  16. Soull

    Soull New Member

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    Check check, good luck.
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  17. _KDP_

    _KDP_ Active Member

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    in there- i'd say im more likely to show here than rbl, since TaCs all mad at a playa for truly being a busy cat

    good luck
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  18. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    dont sign in if you're too busy
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  19. Link Gash

    Link Gash that ninja

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    You wanna post early?
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  20. Restproof

    Restproof Clockwork

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    Are you going to need another extension?

    ---
    Yeah man, whatever. I don't see why you'd need my permission. But if you want to talk further, PM me because I can't be asked to check this thread for edits.
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