i will always think weed should be legalized, but thats not the point of this thread. the stoner everyone always knew me as is dead. i always thought it was completely safe..and for some people it is, but ive come to realize weed has been changin my life.. for the worse, and if im ever to be happy again ima have to say bye to the leaf. and its changed alot of people too, but usually they dont talk about it and not many people hear about the bad effects it does to your brain. first off theres canabis psychosis, i got some of the symptoms from this. psychosis is basically a mild form of schizophrenia. you lose touch with some aspects of reality and you can get things such as thought disorder, social complications like for example s.a.d., anxiety, mild delusions or hallucinations. i got everything here except hallucinations. and i aint talkin about this shit happening while you were high...this is when im sober, ALL the time. its slowly destroyed my personality over the years. i remember the first time i got high...i was BLOWN away, it was undescribable. it was the first time i experienced an alternate form of consiousness, which I didnt even realize how powerful and amazing it was. it was fun to laugh at stupid shit that noone understands, to just eat and crash, to listen to music and think of how the notes blend with each other. to hear my thoughts out loud, and have the whole world move around me slow and distorted. to think deeply and philosophically in another realm. i had entered the dreamworld, possibly forever. the more i smoked weed the less difference there was between when i was sober and when i was high. a few years ago my IQ score was 142, i always had high A's and was naturally advanced. but i was never a dork, i was still normal for a kid in a sense that all I wanted to do was chill with the kids I knew and hook up with chicks...but over the years that shit changed. This past year I failed all except one of my classes. I don't do anything, I'm not smart at all...everyone knows im a dumbass, I'm fucking slow as hell. The David everyone knew is dead, I'm not me anymore...I'll get to that next..but..before I never had trouble with people, was always friendly and chillen with friends was simple...my IQ score now is 106, down 36 points in less than 4 years. now I've been diagnosed with psychosis, ptsa, obsessive compulsive disorder, social anxiety, manic depression, chronic depression, adhd, paranoid personality disorder, narcisstic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and most importantly derealization and depersonalization. if you have never heard of those two, dr/dp, well you should look them up. after all of this mental health bullshit ive learned the hard way...doctors dont know SHIT about mental health. i know that noone can rightfully say what is or isnt good for your mind. they give you pills and expect to solve the problems in your life. bullshit. mental health is a bunch of guessing games. call someone crazy, lock them up, talk to them like kids and give them pills, maybe they will get better. the mysteries of the mind will never be completely understood. anyhow dr/dp, look them up. i have chronic dp/dr, and its gotten worse since i started blazing. im not gona even try to describe it because ive failed too many times. doctors didnt know what the fuck i was talking about until i met someone with these disorders and they described them to me. basically the way to describe it to a person with a healthy conciousness is being in a bad high all of the time. but its way more than that. some people describe it as losing their souls, and only being a living body. people describe it as watching life through the eyes of someone else. if you look it up they will say its like being in a dream, or rather a nightmare. imagine having a dream and realizing that it really isn't a dream...thats kinda how this is. its like i dont know my family and friends anymore, and i dont understand anyone. im trapped in a fragment of my damaged mind. its very serious. its impossible to express at anytime what is truly in my mind. people with chronic dp/dr cant understand the concept of living easy or living a fulfilled life. it feels like im literally in a nightmare, and i want to fucking wake up. imagine looking back at your family and friends from far away and losing touch with them, like they dont really know you're there, or your not connected normally, imagine how scared and sad you would be. thats how this is. the mind is the loneliest place in the world. i decided no more fucking weed, at all. for the first time in 4 years i havent smoked in a whole month. ive painfully turned down my friends hookahs and bongs and fucking qp's and blunts....PAINFULLY, just imagine that shit. but if im ever gona get my soul back, and feel normal, and know how to live, i gota stop smoking. just wanted to share this story and tell yall about these ideas. and dont ignorantly assume that its safe, because it isnt for everyone. marijuana induced mental problems are way more common then you realize and i learned that the hard way, by stepping in the world of mental health. its a living hell. if you're happy, then keep on smokin your trees and livin easy, but if you ever...EVER notice anything abnormal ...stop smokin IMMEDIATELY. because our mind is the only thing we have, and we gotta keep it as intact as possible. i wouldnt wish these problems on my worse enemy.