Free Us

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by TheWrittenWord, Jun 10, 2003.

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  1. TheWrittenWord

    TheWrittenWord New Member

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    Epidemic blindness
    Oh Greater Being, can't you find us
    Rescue us, Your Highness
    Save us from this purgatory of
    Stewing in our own bane
    Our alleged insights inane
    Blissful in our ignorance
    Too content too complain
    Free thinking deleted
    Rebels depleted
    A peril unneeded
    As old hostility is reheated
    The only ones willing to revolt have retreated
    Or been defeated
    We're ambushed by deceptive directives
    From the individuals we ourselves selected
    Cutting crucial communication where we could have connected
    We could have discussed
    The consequences are pretenses and distrust
    We're too egocentric to think to speak
    And it's a time when we must
    Because of problems we've struggled to find
    We have defenses already aligned
    Prisoners already confined
    Weapons already designed
    And now our minds' eyes have gone blind
    So Godly Entity
    Liberate us from our bind
    Set us ahead from behind
    Or just please, please
    Pray for mankind
    test
  2. TheWrittenWord

    TheWrittenWord New Member

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    *My bad, that eighth line is "too content TO complain."
    test
  3. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    damn man, this was some mind racing shit. I liked the way you put ya words together, wordplay is raw. And you came nice with the multis too, some shit i wish i was good at. Great job


    one luv
    test
  4. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    i guess its taking a less optimistic few point of the world heh...it was nicely written..i enjoyed reading
    test
  5. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    Wordplay with the word choice were working with me easily. I agree with Soul for a mind racing piece that you wrote here. So muhc to take in, yet a great concept to go off on and write about. I liked the title for this, because it went well with the message behind the piece you wrote here, "Free Us". Exploited what you wanted the reader to feel and know from this joint... Raw material here. My blessings.
    test
  6. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    damn

    welcome to the realm man...really dug how u did this piece....had me glued to the screen...flow was great...whole piece from top to bottom was dope.....

    hope to see more from you.....

    if you get time check out my piece called her testimony my shame....better work by me than that shit u read earlier........
    test
  7. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    whoa that was good

    great job it was a thought racing peice

    STAY UP AND KEEP WRITING MUCH LOVE PEACE!
    test
  8. TheWrittenWord

    TheWrittenWord New Member

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    Thanks all.

    Hey lpoet, I saw that piece, very creative and poignant.
    test
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