For women who don't think the husband is the "head" of the marriage...

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Ignorant, Nov 13, 2005.

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  1. Yes, I think I did see that show once, and I thought it was a put on thing. Like these people cannot be serious? lol. But you're right, the 'king of my castle' mentality is in a lot of cases more about control than anything else, especially when it is used to make a woman have a guys dinner on the table, or the house tidied up etc. Traditions function then is to maintain the domestic order which is often at the expense of the woman and of advantage to the man.

    I think this debate surrounds the naturalness of a womans domestic role. Women have always been viewed as, maternal, carers, nurturers etc, and the question arises as to whether it is has some biological grounding, or is constructed through time , perhaps shaped by men's dominance, or other sociological influence such as the roles of men and women way back when men would hunt and women would take care of the children and prepare food, etc. I agree with you that the domestic sphere has been for women a source of power, perhaps their only source of power in the past, but I think its more a question of the repetitive role of a woman in the home rather than retaliation which made them feel superior. They are superior, because it has been their role for so long. And because it has been their role for so long, it is hard to tell whether it is their natural role, or one which has been put upon them.

    Yes there is a definate difference between those women who have the luxury of being able to stay at home (Upper/middle class), and those who have always had to work. ( working class). It is the same in Britain. Single mothers for example, have this burden I feel in the most extreme sense. Unless they have a very close knit supportive family, then they must work, or live on benefits and they must bring up the children, too. If they work, and dont have their own parents, or friends to look after their children then they have the option of working with paying childcare, which can be a lot of money and perhaps not the best situation for a child to be in everyday, or stay at home and live off the state. Women's economic mobility is therfore limited considerably. Ofcourse, their are many reasons why marriages break down, but when this happens it is often the burden of domesticity and economic survival that the woman must undertake, as men who leave women as single mothers, often are more disconnected with their children than the women ever can be. Here is an example,I know this lady at college who is a single mum, and she has told me that when the father babysits occasionally, he makes out like he is doing her a favour. It seems his responsibly, and commitment can be elsewhere, and that is somehow accepted within society??

    yea, but bringing up kids is a full time job, not just something that can take a back seat to a career. This is why I feel some women choose not to have kids in favour of having high-payed and high-powered jobs. I feel the only way for a woman to have a successfull career and children, is to have a flexible and supportive partner. But something inevitably has to give between the two people. You cannot both work full time if you have kids. It's just not going to work and it is usually the women, who decide that the children must come first and spend most of their time at home with them or taking them to school. Men always have the, 'I'm a man, so I must work, its my duty' to fall back on. And also, the notion that a woman's place should be with the kids at home. The woman has them afterall, so it is said that she is needed to be with the baby for breastfeeding etc, and must spend atleast the first 12 weeks with the baby, hence maternity leave. However, Many employers would not look on a woman enthusiastically who was going to be working for a little while then start a family and have 3 months payed leave. Fathers are left, like you say often totally unnacountable, and tradition seems to be in their favour. But, Because both parents often need to work these days, the conflict is being felt more than ever, especially compared to when I was a kid and I spent nearly every day with my mum, and if she had to work, she got a job where I could go with her. That is ofcourse, not always possible.
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  2. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    It's time for me to end this debate once and for all... no more quipping.

    I'll be back later.
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  3. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    oh, please... lol!
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  4. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    Just be prepared to meet your maker.
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  5. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    *shaking in my Uggs*
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