For the longest time

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by J-Smooth, Jun 8, 2003.

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  1. J-Smooth

    J-Smooth The Smoothness Playa

    Joined:
    May 25, 2001
    Messages:
    248
    For the longest time
    i've been wanting to say
    how blessed and happy
    at God had givein me you



    I never thought that I would
    actually feel this way about a person
    until you came and made my life

    A lil bit better to live
    something this good can't be denyed
    am just so happy that you are mine
    test
  2. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
    Messages:
    869
    Short, but sweet.. I guess? I found this straight to the point, something that could hook a female into it and ofcourse whoever you're writing about in this one. Rhyme scheme was simplistic, along with flow. Word choice needs to rise a bit to explain deeper feelings in such a situation, as this. Other than that, decent pull for a romantic piece. My blessings..
    test
  3. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2000
    Messages:
    26,748
    it was nice..short simple and to the point..you said what you needed to say and that was that.
    test
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