Flicker

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by iceheart, Jun 22, 2003.

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  1. iceheart

    iceheart The Frozen Poet

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2003
    Messages:
    690
    Flicker

    One by one they’ve taken away parts of my life
    Until all I had left is this pen and a knife
    Each day I am given the same choices
    It’s becoming subtly harder to ignore the voices
    They keep telling me how little I have left to live for
    And every morning they seem a bit louder than the night before

    They took away the internet, just as they had planned
    It was the only way I could talk to my friends in distant lands
    They wouldn’t let me go on a single, solitary date
    No one loves me anymore, they are tired of having to wait
    They took away my time on the phone
    Every day after school I feel more and more alone

    They say they will give it all back
    If I would only get my grades on track
    But, truth be told
    To the world my heart has grown cold
    It’s been so long since I last possessed these things
    That I hardly even care when the telephone rings

    But the thing I valued most
    Was going to learn about the Holy Ghost
    And ever since they took that from me
    My grades have plummeted rapidly
    They took my hope and held it down
    In a pool of misery it started to drown

    In the wind of life my candle’s flame flickers
    Within the darkest depths of my mind the voice snickers
    For it knows that when my fire finally goes out
    I will have failed God, without a doubt
    He purposely gave me a gift and a goal to pursue
    That could only be achieved if to Him I stayed true

    Everyday I fight a battle with myself
    While I try to leave my knife on the shelf
    Increasing in difficulty each time I try
    Sooner or later I am going to falter and die
    But I want everyone to know
    That before I go
    I will completely preserve in a case of frost
    My heart of ice, so it will never be lost


    Iceheart
    test
  2. Infonation

    Infonation Info for the Nation

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Messages:
    1,016
    "In the wind of life my candle’s flame flickers
    Within the darkest depths of my mind the voice snickers
    For it knows that when my fire finally goes out
    I will have failed God, without a doubt
    He purposely gave me a gift and a goal to pursue
    That could only be achieved if to Him I stayed true"

    I liked this stanza the most. Very nice pice, very nice intellect, i thought i wasn't going to like it when, i read, you missed the internet and the phone as your friends. But then you reached a deeper feeling, pass the material things, to God. Nice message, *Stay Up*
    ^One world, one life, one love
    test
  3. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    welcome to the realm...


    Each day I am given the same choices
    It’s becoming subtly harder to ignore the voices


    ...got damn...i loved those lines....very nice piece u got here.....seems like it came straight from the heart.....realy enjoyed the read...keep it up...ima look out for u
    test
  4. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2003
    Messages:
    1,990
    wow i really thought this was very nicely written the rhyme the wording the images was real and pure yep we all go through this one time in our life but u made a beautiful poem with it it's sad we have to go through this but it's life so thats life to you but nice and beautiful.
    test
  5. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    this was beautiful, and i can tell that this came str8 from the heart. Keep it coming

    one luv
    test
  6. D.B.

    D.B. Death

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2003
    Messages:
    153
    One by one they’ve taken away parts of my life
    Until all I had left is this pen and a knife
    Each day I am given the same choices
    It’s becoming subtly harder to ignore the voices
    They keep telling me how little I have left to live for
    And every morning they seem a bit louder than the night before

    ^fav. part...real nice drop......stay up
    test
  7. I really liked this, good perspective from a young person with good incite. Keep shedding those feelings.. take care
    test
  8. vinous

    vinous New Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2003
    Messages:
    405
    this was really moving, cos i can relate to this part especially,
    For it knows that when my fire finally goes out
    I will have failed God, without a doubt
    He purposely gave me a gift and a goal to pursue
    That could only be achieved if to Him I stayed true

    hey, keep writing those demons away, and keep ur faith....= ) pz.
    test
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