~ Fern Flower ~

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by GaLaTeA, Jan 12, 2012.

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  1. GaLaTeA

    GaLaTeA GymArt

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    One wave of his hand,
    is saying he's not there.
    It can not exist,
    this type of fern is a plant,
    that can not become a flower,
    it only remains a mythological seed,
    a spawn of poetic imagination.

    And yet it's there.
    Sincerity shines in mellow tones,
    which once belonged to hope.
    Uniqueness shines in intertwining colors,
    which once hope wanted to be,
    in the color of love,
    who hope dared to be.

    With the freedom to say yes,
    the freedom to say no.
    With the freedom to doubt,
    the freedom of acceptance and rejection.
    With the freedom of words and silence,
    in freedom, who hope becomes,
    in freedom, where hope remains.
    The freedom of own personal choices,
    the freedom of their own personal choice.

    It is this magical,
    rare and priceless,
    precious fern flower in your heart.
    Give it space to flurish,
    let it shine for itself and others.
    It's called ~ freedom.
    test
  2. patrown

    patrown student for life

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    nice one G

    And yet it's there.
    Sincerity shines in mellow tones,
    which once belonged to hope.
    Uniqueness shines in intertwining colors,
    which once hope wanted to be,
    in the color of love,
    who hope dared to be.

    that part really got me..
    test
  3. GaLaTeA

    GaLaTeA GymArt

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    Ty so much for your feedback...
    test
  4. patrown

    patrown student for life

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    You're welcome. Keep em coming :)
    test
  5. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    This was mostly spoken word driven...I'd add some more imagery in this to give the reader some color against the static voice. What was the reason for this ? I ask beause I did not find any info in the written.

    And yet it's there.
    Sincerity shines in mellow tones,
    which once belonged to hope.
    Uniqueness shines in intertwining colors,
    which once hope wanted to be,
    in the color of love,
    who hope dared to be.


    I agree with P.
    Not a bad drop, it read pretty good, just nothing to cut it out of the rest of the pack....though you are very clear and restrain from the abstract, maybe you should add some weird stuff in ?


    KEEP IT UP G.
    test
  6. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    You should join the RSTL Gal...i think it'll help you improve more...still a great piece of writing
    test
  7. GaLaTeA

    GaLaTeA GymArt

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    Ty for your feedback...the reason behind it was more or less staring at a painting I'm unable to finish, due to lacking inspirational freedom ~ :idk: allotted incoherence...I can certainly try with adding more grim and abstract elements to it...perhaps in the next one...(=


    Sort of afraid to...but it couldn't hurt to try...

    Ty so much, bauss. (=
    test
  8. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    Sign up to the rstl,..ya chicken

    seriously, you'd do well
    test
  9. GaLaTeA

    GaLaTeA GymArt

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    *hides the el pollo loco halloween costume*

    :eek:hwell: :funny: I'll try it...
    test
  10. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    It's a good way to improve your abilities...It's different since you have to rhyme but the advice you get is very helpful
    test
  11. GaLaTeA

    GaLaTeA GymArt

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    True...

    :scared:
    test
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