~Eyes of Hope~

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Mind~$oul, May 26, 2003.

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  1. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    beyond what i may
    see...
    they say hope is somewhere beyond the sea,
    and it roams free...
    i hold my breath and close
    my eyes...
    and dream to a time, when one day
    hope will be mine...
    but even a fool...
    knows, dreams doesn't come
    true...
    and by the day, my blood
    grows more cold...
    dying, i start to neglect my
    crying soul...
    spitting on church grounds
    asking what am i here for...
    writing atheistic scriptures...
    beginning with, "dear mr. preacher"
    a dead rebel, i am
    who walks a suicidal
    path...
    anxiously waiting on death, to ask for her
    last dance...
    joined by hands...
    staring over her shoulders into the promising eyes of
    hope..

    another keystyle i just did. Got kinda blank at the end didnt know how to finish it off really, so i just left it like that.

    one luv
    test
  2. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    869
    "spitting on church grounds
    asking what am i here for..."


    All this and more is your voice, which I love from RapMusic.com comes with. That's what I find most appealing of this section. Yet, your voice talks to me through this piece and I really respect that, due to the fact that not many have that skill anywhere else, na'mean? Nice, creative topic that you used to explain what you had on your mind tonight. I don't get how this could be a keystyle and be so indepth, so deep in your thoughts. Then, it can come out in a matter of seconds or even one or two minutes, just a simple keystyle. Weird, heh. Anyways, I should try that, do my mind well and grow mentally healthier. My blessings..
    test
  3. vinous

    vinous New Member

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    May 22, 2003
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    405
    anxiously waiting on death, to ask for her
    last dance...
    joined by hands...
    staring over her shoulders into the promising eyes of
    hope..

    are you saying that hope comes to you in death?? or have i misinterpreted completely?
    test
  4. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

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    3,706
    wow . mind as always an outpour of emotion i think its awesome that you wright straight from your nerve endings ^
    test
  5. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    in this piece i'm chosing death over hope

    thanks for the replies peeps
    test
  6. good piece mate, i like how you showed the confusion and the anger with it, it was sorta sad, but i liked it.

    bigup
    test
  7. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    12,678
    dope...raw piece....kinda seemed like a vent.....u always come with ill keystyles...didnt like how u ended this though felt like you coulda kept going with this....but stilld nice....keep it up.
    test
  8. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    uppin one last time
    test
  9. mocha_licious

    mocha_licious New Member

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    this piece was beautiful....mos definetly a good and intense read for me..i think it was real rich, u know wat i mean?

    ~onelove always from this way~
    test
  10. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

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    I say you leave it just like that. Usually when things get blank at the end, that's when shit makes the most sense...You sit back and go like..."Oooh...that's what the fuck I meant..." lol Nice drop.
    test
  11. DA-SMOOTHEST-TALKA

    DA-SMOOTHEST-TALKA The Silencer

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    and by the day, my blood
    grows more cold...
    dying, i start to neglect my
    crying soul...



    THOSE LINES....i liked the whole layout of the peice as well nice vocab and i like the way you used certain things to show hurt as displayed above. I enjoyed this poem kid keep writing.
    test
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