Discussion in 'Audio Emcee Hook Ups' started by Nimrod, Jan 20, 2014.
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This was dope, kept my attention. I'm an avid movie/ tv watcher, and honestly this didn't feel like a dark comedy at all. The soundtrack might have had more influence to that though. But usually in those type of films, there are quirky moments or convos sprinkled throughout to give off that vibe, but the only moments that gave me a smirk was you shooting the revolver (which I dont know if thats the reaction you hoping for) and you spitting up blood on the chicks face. But since there are more episodes, the series classification may become more obvious.
You really have talent man, but whats holding you back is the unintentional cheesiness, which is mostly derived from the acting. For the most part the actors did a solid job conversation wise, but their body movement/language seemed pretty forced. Only actor that seemed authentic and comfortable was the light skin cat who shot you.
All that aside, this was pretty impressive assuming your working with limited resources, and I will def check the out the next episode.
I like it.
I think there was a little too many characters and shit thrown in for what amounts to be a 10 minute episode - hopefully all the holes will be filled in with future episodes. Left me with too many questions and the casual viewer may not come back. Maybe consider making 15-18 minute episodes so you can develop the story a bit more? Other than that, I fucks with it. Looking forward to seeing more.
To me when I watched this, it came across as another 'hood nigga movie', and not a dark comedy. I love dark comedies, and this one had no witty banter with the characters and there was nothing that showed a sense of irony. You need a better screenwriter.
Pointing out how much blood flows from getting shot in the head isn't funny....pointing how much blood you gotta clean from the carpet is funny.
Leaving Nim's bloody body in the parking lot of the hospital isn't funny....a debate with the characters in the car on where to dump his body has potential to be funny.
That's what dark comedies are. Go watch "Very Bad Things". You cited Pulp Fiction; ridiculous dialogue about McDonalds, Dead Nigger Storage, and the accidental death in the car is what makes that movie what it is.
There were definitely a couple moments of incredible irony.
And just to clarify this wasn't written to "be a dark comedy" after it was written and conceived I realized it had major elements of a dark comedy
So I'm not expecting anybody to be able to go down a checklist for every criteria to be fulfilled
There definitely was irony tho - I don't know how you could miss the irony
As far as dialogue- the girl who co-wrote this with me is a great actress herself and she wrote our scenes with a lot of dialogue I didn't believe we could pull off being that we are not actors
So I simplified the car dialogue as simple as possible
Came out a lot more effective
I'm not going to feed witty exchanges to a group of 4 camera people
Not to mention our goal was for the episodes to be short and sweet
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