Endless Journey’s (Traveling Man)

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Xero Satsujin, Jul 31, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2003
    Messages:
    2,243
    It is often that I find myself torn between confusion and strife. I find myself feeling alone in this perilous journey called life. Will I ever find peace within the silence of my own solitude? Will I ever find a way to bring balance to my fortitude? In a sky covered with sapphires that light the night I am a lone star. Yet I can easily go the distance no matter how far.

    There is a world of pain that I do a very good job of trying to hide. It is what I use to keep my head held high and to fill me with pride. Will I ever forgive myself for all that I have done wrong? Will I ever let go of all the things that I held on too for so long? In a lifetime I could not cry enough tears to appease all. Yet I still try to hold my hands out to stop their fall.

    I have walked alone on this road contemplating my own shallow grave. Things go by me like a feather in the wind with time to save. Will I everstop and take the time to rest my head? Will there ever be a time in my life that I would have rather been dead? In time I have assumed that this is out of my control. Yet I have managed to except this fate of never being whole.
    [​IMG]
    test
  2. unspoken1

    unspoken1 Revolutionary Wordsmen

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2002
    Messages:
    758
    wow...this is very nice...well written piece of work
    test
  3. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2003
    Messages:
    2,243
    Domo Arigato Unspoken1 San, lol...Anyway, thanx i appreciate your replies...
    test
  4. iceheart

    iceheart The Frozen Poet

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2003
    Messages:
    690
    very nice xero, these words are almost melodic, they fit together so well. keep writing. peace

    iceheart
    test
  5. misspimp

    misspimp a.k.a KATURAH

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2003
    Messages:
    1,308
    As Usual...Beautiful....very passionate...and deeply heartfelt...

    Loved this...(ofcourse i gotta qoute a whole stanza...and if you've never ever sad anything in one of your poems that applies to my life you defenitely said it in this one stanza right here):

    There is a world of pain that I do a very good job of trying to hide. It is what I use to keep my head held high and to fill me with pride. Will I ever forgive myself for all that I have done wrong? Will I ever let go of all the things that I held on too for so long? In a lifetime I could not cry enough tears to appease all. Yet I still try to hold my hands out to stop their fall.

    ^^^^If thats not me...i dont know what is...LOL

    mad love
    test
  6. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2003
    Messages:
    1,110
    Xero you know I love your work...and the more I read it the more difficult it is to find new words to describe it...so as your peices always are....incredible.

    peace
    test
  7. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    Xero out of all your pieces, this mos def is the one i can relate too, every line. I think you should do an audio version of this.

    one luv
    test
  8. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2003
    Messages:
    2,243
    DAMN, I guess I did the damn thang on this one huh? lol...Anyway, thank you all for replying...I will keep writing...
    test
  9. Lil'Dragon

    Lil'Dragon [nOw iZ tHa TyMe tO AkT]

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2001
    Messages:
    1,656
    Nice flow to this piece, emotion was heartfelt, and a very relatable piece for any person in their time of need. Although, i would just like to point out u probably mean "accept" rather than "except" in the last line of ur piece.

    <CheK>
    test
  10. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2003
    Messages:
    2,243
    Well thank you LIl' Dragon as usual for your visit, I agree with you that it is easily related to dispair. But, I did not mean accept or I would have put it, there was actually supposed to be another "o" on that "to" and a "," after it, so it would go something like this...

    "Yet I have managed too, except this fate of never being whole."

    But thank you honestly for your critique, much appreciated...there's also a type for anybody else that wants to let me know what is wrong with the piece, lol...
    test
  11. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2003
    Messages:
    2,938
    you always find ways to out do yourself. Another great piece i think everything about it has been said before, So there is no need for me be repeatitive. Great piece man.


    stya up, much love, peace
    test
  12. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2003
    Messages:
    2,243
    I am not oudoing myself, and I am not trying to hard to do much. And I find it fun to think of new ways to out think wat i have done in the past. Anyway, thanx for bringing back this piece...even though I was waiting for this to fall off the page so I could post the second piece of the other poem...
    test
  13. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    great piece!

    reminds me sooo much of something i would write....the only difference is your writting is a lot more clean and structured than mines.....

    really diggin this piece.....
    Will I ever let go of all the things that I held on too for so long?

    liked that...i've asked myself the same question

    lovin what u bringing to the realm...

    UP
    test
  14. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2003
    Messages:
    2,243
    Thank you Ipoet, I really apprecaite you feelin this piece...thanx...
    test
  15. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    well no prob...but its Lpoet
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)