Encountering the female playa

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Shit with corn in it IRM'S BITCH, Nov 30, 2005.

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  1. im talkin about ladies who openly say they have 5 or six different guys on the go?
    what u think about that? Equality at last or a sad state of affairs?
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  2. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    'Playing the field' or 'keeping your options open' is fine as long as you're honest about it and upfront about your intentions... some people just aren't in a place where they're interested in committing to one person - or they may just be searching for the right match. 5 or 6 does seem like a lot to juggle, though, assuming shes actively dating all of them - as opposed to seeing the guy(s) casually every so often and maintaining moderate contact with him/them.
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  3. M.Maestro

    M.Maestro Ghost

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    What Gabrielle Union said.
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  4. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    ok...let me pose a hypothetical...

    you're not in a relationship...you're talking to multiple guys at the same time...all of whom you occassionally go out with, talk with, and spend time with.

    then lets say, slowly, one by one, these guys start to TELL you (or other ppl) that you are his girl/woman/gf/insert generic title here

    so...b/c of that, are you a playa, or just caught up b/c u were dating 3 different guys simultaneously?

    (a lil off topic...but just wondering)
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  5. urban_tactics

    urban_tactics aka johnny cockram

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    why do u need to be talkin to 5 different ppl

    seriously?

    lets process that...what the fuck is the point of talkin to 5 different nggaz?
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  6. Eddie EnyGma

    Eddie EnyGma pump.. pump.. pump it up!

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    unless she's fuckin em and fronting to each of them like they the only one, then i don't think theres anything wrong wit it...
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  7. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    If he is aware that you're dating around from jump, and then decides later on down the line that he wants to be exclusive then he needs to have that converesation with you to make sure you're on the same page... it would be foolish for him to just assume that position w/o checking w/you or to take it for granted that you even want to be his girl, IMO... especially if he knew you were seeing other people in the beginning and you never gave him any reason to believe that had changed. And if he starts calling you his girl before he's had that conversation then you (this hypothetical 'you', I mean) need to be the one to initiate the talk since he obviously isn't going to.
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  8. This is admirable, however, to me it seems naieve to walk into those kind of situations thinking being upfront is going to be enough. If your intentions are to 'play the field' then most guys wont want to entertain that because they will feel like they aren't good enough, cus If they were, then you would choose to be with them exclusively. Sometimes though, situations can overlap. You will be getting to know someone, then you will meet someone else and start liking them, which can be tricky.

    I think there is a difference between playing the field, or 'dating', and being a playa, though. A playas intentions are to play, mainly for sexual gratification and usually has no qualms with hurting peoples feelings in the process, whereas playing the field is more like waiting to see how a situation may develop. having said that,I think Maybe its best to date one person at a time as it saves a lot of hassle and hurt feelings. I guess it depends on how much you care about the people you are playing the field with.
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  9. M.Maestro

    M.Maestro Ghost

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    haha word. 3 is pushin.
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  10. Scola929

    Scola929 New Member

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    being upfront should be enough...establishing the relationship upfront is the most important part of the relationship...if you cant establish it correctly in the beginning, then ur on a road to fuck up...if we just meet and were not excuslive, and you tell me what you want out of the situation and i tell you what i want out of the situation and where not on the same page, then the relationship is not going to work out, so just move on...if she tells you that she wants to play the field, shes a playa, etc...then you should already know what to except from the other side of that...if the guy wont entertain that because he feels that he isn't good enough, then feels are already getting involed before clearly not establishing the relationship in the beginning...and this is why u shouldn't put all your hopes into one chick, or establish feelings so soon.
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  11. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    Sad state of affairs if you are trying to keep multiple parnters and making them think that they're the only ones.

    Sad state of affairs for men or women.

    I think if you don't want to commit to one person that is fine....but why lie about it and make each of your partners think that they're the only one?

    Nobody wins when they're trying to be a "playa". Not even the "playa"..cuz down the road they could find that one person that they want to spend their lives with and their reputation as a "playa" is going to have that person doubting their every move.
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  12. ~Eloquent

    ~Eloquent Narcissistic....

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    keepin your options open shouldnt be playin with people's emotions though
    but as long as she lets them know exactly without playin fuckin mind games
    but thats what it is though,mind games
    women can be natural pimps
    cuz you know guys got sex on their mind
    not that women dont either...
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  13. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    and that has happened to me!! Once upon a time, i was talkin to 3 cats, and everything was fine and dandy. Then it's like when he's on the phone with his friends, he's like "Oh im in the car with my girl" and i shoot him a look like "what??!"

    oh...this one was great...when im talkin to these multiple guys, then all of a sudden, one of them is like "i love you".....wwooooaaahhh!! wtf?!

    i never once have played anyone...if we go into the relationship talkin, unless we have a conversation that occurs, then nuthing has changed. Don't assume that I'm your woman now, or that i want to be, just because YOU caught feelings...

    lol doin that mess was crazy fun tho...whenever one wasnt available when i wanted...NEXT! lmao (so sad...but true)
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  14. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    I was waiting for someone to quote that Big Pun hook...


    But samii, what do you expect?? I mean, you're cute, sexy, smart, passionate and easy to talk to... you have to be careful with who you lay the charm on... take it from somebody who is also cursed with your gifts... I never led the women I was dating or "messing around with" to believe that they were the only ones... but because I was so attentive and there for them, they just naturally assumed... and man, I hated breakin' their hearts... I think the key is to flirt with other people in front of them... and if they spark drama, just quit calling them... I took the passive-aggressive way out, because I hated confrontations.
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  15. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    Iggy, for once, i must agree with you! lmao

    see...now i have to start disagreeing again...lol jp

    i feel that tho...and you're right...I always gave each of them equal amounts of time, and talked to them for extended periods...and then they all just sorta assumed that i felt the same way. That whole flirtin in front of them deal, i would so not do lol...thats mean! lol...but i do implement the passive aggressive aproach...just stop calling, ignore, and dodge em. What would bite, is when i started dodging them, and then they would pop up at my house like "where u been?!" lol...not fun lol...but i guess it comes with territory =\
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  16. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    whoa @ the "L" word... yeah, those situations can get really sticky. One night a guy I was seeing knew he had pissed me off and was like "so, I guess you're on to plan 'b' now..?"... I was like "yep"... lol... I know, that was bad.

    I've had this conversation w/two guys recently - whether or not to disclose the fact that you're dating/seeing other people when you first meet someone... one said it was a bad idea, that it would ruin any chance of the girl taking you seriously... and the other said that not disclosing that information was the same thing as lying, that he would rather know so that he could decide for himself what he wanted to do in the situation... I agree w/the latter... I make it a point to be really upfront about that sort of thing... and if a guy then chooses not to get involved, I totally understand.. some people aren't w/that deal and I respect that.

    Not everyone is looking for a serious relationship... some people just enjoy the interaction and the company. If I'm not serious w/anyone I'm seeing and I happen to meet someone else that interests me, I'm going for it... and on the flip side, when I meet a guy I don't expect him not to see other people... now if/when we decide to be exlusive, then I will cut everyone else out of the picture.
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  17. ~Eloquent

    ~Eloquent Narcissistic....

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    thats hard for me
    when i really start to feel a girl i really want to let her know and its like all or nothin
    if i know i cant have a relationship with her then it would turn to nothin...

    its always been like im either close to someone or really distant

    i know i got to chill with that but its hard when you tried to keep your feelings packed inside in the past for a very long time
    so alot of times id rather just have the relationship be nothin
    just to afraid of the thought of catching feelings...
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  18. Predator INC

    Predator INC New Member

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    lol women? playa'z? lmao. funny shit. forget all these bullshit answers and let a nigga put it into psychological terms for you. There is a concept in psycology that is called the principle of least interest which means the less interest you show in one person the more they will show in you to try and garner your attention. Mix this up with some humor and being your own man and you'll never encounter a female playa? Why? because they will be so sprung on you they won't think of anybody else. If you bust their chops and call them out on their bullshit they will know whats up. Women practice this principle all the time unknowingly hence why alot of dudes get all fucked up and clingy. but see theres a factor missing - this factor is you. If you turn the tides on them they will never play you. women are all about feelings and emotions etc so if you trigger these certain emotions and have them think of it relating to you it will work out alot better. This is called patterning. for example your talking with a girl and you say "Have you ever felt like you could just talk to a person you just met and automatically start FEEL ATTRACTIONfor them. WITH ME I think it's possible to FEEL IT INSTANTANEOUSLY. You start to THINK ABOUT THEIR TOUCH and how good it would feel having him touch you. I always thought this was the reason people feel LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. What about you" take a close look at the capatilized words and you'll understand what im talking about. human beings love patterns - especially when its with words. but u have to find the proper time to use them.

    you also need to think what type of woman you are looking for and where they most likely are. I guarantee If I wanted I could get a shawty in bed with me the first date. it doesn't make them a hoe either its just a subconcious thing thats going on. sex and relationships are as much mental as they are physical. Women reading this please know I am not being arragont but you also know what im saying is true.
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  19. yuppi

    yuppi da raisin

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    dont hit a girl ever
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  20. ~Eloquent

    ~Eloquent Narcissistic....

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    ahh man kidd kash is so right
    i dont know though i just wanted to try being completely real with them
    i didnt do that at all for a long time
    but some women would say "why cant a guy just tell me straight up,
    why cant a guy just look me in the eyes and be real with me?"
    so i thought well i know how to keep my word....

    so i tried that, but no more of that
    it is really all about mind games...
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