drunken poetry the prefered choice of alcoholics everywhere

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by SaMkIrWiN, Jun 5, 2003.

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  1. SaMkIrWiN

    SaMkIrWiN New Member

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    i find myself gazing for answers in the sky,
    or
    kneeling for knowledge down by your graveside
    in the warm summer eve to my spine still a chill,
    as my soul it goes walking thru memory ville,
    threw the eyes of your mother,i recall your first joy
    as she gleamed with pride at her new baby boy
    18 years later a soldier in command
    ready to fight, gun in his hand.
    battles of humanity,battles of greed
    coffins of wood
    dust to all creeds
    blood of a nation, prideof a few
    ,no memorys of conquests
    jus tears shed for you.
    test
  2. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    Simple rhyme scheme and flow. Any hidden meanings in this, because if the title has nothing to do with it, then it's very decieving and that's probably why you haven't been replied to yet. A solider's story it seems, quite decent and creative, new and original. Keep on elevating, sonnie. My blessings..
    test
  3. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    couldnt have said it better myself

    up
    test
  4. SaMkIrWiN

    SaMkIrWiN New Member

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    thank u chaps
    test
  5. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    i think you could've elevated on this more..maybe told a deeper story b/c there seems to be more behind, you just kind've gave us an abstract view of it. not bad tho...hope to see more from yah.
    test
  6. varentao

    varentao New Member

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    A short but powerful piece. Really got into the inanity (is that even a word) of war, in an emotional yet over-viewing way...

    ...resp..
    test
  7. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    i dont know, i just wished it was a lil longer, felt like once it was gettin started you ended it. But great piece, unique style...one luv
    test
  8. Johnnie French

    Johnnie French Voodooradio.podomatic.com

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    battles of humanity,battles of greed
    coffins of wood
    dust to all creeds - very nice lines very nice!

    I understand why it's "drunken poetry" cause it sounds like the thought pattern that I know I have gone thru several times when I'm drunk. Great piece nuttin but love!
    test
  9. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

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    i agree with all of the replies. it was coo, but it coulda been longer and coulda related to the title and stuff... good poem though!
    test
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