dont let me let you down

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Shit with corn in it IRM'S BITCH, May 27, 2003.

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  1. No shadows, no doubts
    when your not looking for what life's about.
    Hold me to that if u will;
    I want to meet you halfway but im lonely and still..
    what am i thinking?, im to young for it to be said and done,
    it feels bad to be good at things, waste talent and run.
    If you're lazy like me, i guess you will know and eventually see--
    that reaping, means you have to sow,
    and if I wont live for the seed, where shall i go?.
    I need another chance, but im missing in parts and i want to snap at them for what they say,
    when I do I feel guilty, ashamed..
    My grandfathers hands in war and mine,
    where the coal dust and sweat settled for bread bringing my values to life.
    Im alive because of you, jumping from planes with parachutes,
    while friends fell to earth beside you,
    came home a modist hero eighteen and married to..
    I never remember you bitter, much patience about you,
    I smile at my mother with my neice
    giving her your wonderful attitude.
    test
  2. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
    Messages:
    869
    Interesting, one of the more actual interesting poems I read and left me still thinking of the meaning behind it. I believe you showed your capability of metaphors very well. Imagery was decent, as well as deliverance. Your voice was YOUR voice, which is always good and that's basically how you approached the reader. You approached them with thoughts and metaphorical statements which conclude what you're thinking at the end of the full piece. You didn't leave them completely bewildered and confused. You left them thinking in more ways than just one, just by reading this. Just had me thinking, that's all. My blessings..

    *return the favor by dropping some knowledge on my piece.

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=575322
    test
  3. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    like i always say

    i love the way u write man

    just captures me

    so unlike anyone else i read

    really feelin this

    keep it up
    test
  4. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    "that reaping, means you have to sow,
    and if I wont live for the seed, where shall i go?."

    Loving your work man.

    one luv
    test
  5. 6ftground

    6ftground BLACKACE/GRIMREADER

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2003
    Messages:
    2,066
    The heart passed down - to be passed down forever..this piece gave me that..thank you..good read...
    test
  6. nathedawg

    nathedawg New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,804
    No shadows, no doubts
    when your not looking for what life's about

    very grabbing intro ... good read buddy
    test
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