Don't Close The Door

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by MISSKEYdaQUEEN, Jun 27, 2004.

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  1. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

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    Dont Close The Door

    I was ready to close the door on you this afternoon when you knocked
    Had it not been for the 12 previous hours I spent withought you I would have
    See we argued the day before over some silly type of stuff....
    You
    and that
    Hard Mentality are gonna have me embracing celibacy all over again because..
    Man I told you I love you
    And all you said in return was "THANK YOU"
    And see that's BULL man, we've been together too long for you NOT to say it back.
    You say "Yeah, we've been together too long for you not to know!"
    Touche`
    So we exchanged brash remarks and sharp witted comments and you said "woman DON'T make me leave"
    And I, well, I opened the door
    And as you walked out the door all I could think to myself was, dayum all this brotha had to say was he loved me..
    And you were thinking, all this sister had to do was believe me.
    See, I was wrapped up in words
    Words that were so hollow to most
    WHY THE HELL was I so stuck on those words.
    Becasue we all know people say I LOVE YOU for the most trivial of reasons
    No authenticity nowadays in those 3 words
    But my vision was distorted
    And when your shirts absorbed tears in my most vulnerable of times
    When your ends played a part of my dividends when times grew crucial
    When you filled me with kisses that stole away my breath and captured my words making me........making me......making me.....
    Speechless
    When you come behind me while I'm cooking in the kitchen and place kisses on the back of my neck
    When I needed me time and couldn't give time to those who craved my time, when my children needed quality time, you took your time in substitute of MINE
    And they aren"t even yours
    When I got a little high on my pedestal you knocked me into reality but cushioned my fall, ensuring thaqt I was never alone
    When I felt like Queen was an unworthy title you EMPHASIZED the King in you, therefore placing me back on my thrown
    And when your eyes shine when I share my dreams with you as if I was revealing your own
    WHY
    WHY did I not acknowledge the actions that give the words its weight
    Stuck on exterior and dint focus on interior
    When really whats inside of you is all I really wanted
    And when you gave it to me
    I became brand new
    And I was ready to close the door on you this afternoon when you knocked
    Had it not been for the 12 previous hours I spent without you
    The 8 bedroom hours I spent without you
    The cold slumber I spent without you
    The fact that I woke up and your arm wasnt wrapped around my hip with hand craddled underneath my breast for the 7 hundred 30th night in a row

    Had it not been for the absence of the actions that prove how you feel
    How I know you feel...
    I would have closed the door
    And made one of the biggest mistakes of
    my life

    Read- Poem Nevermore-BritBoiGee
    WhyHateOnMe- Illpoetical
    TheLongHandDrawing..........-mczpananzi
    test
  2. Your poems are always filled with emotion and a good story. I got wrapped up in this one. This reminded me of a tug of war game between lovers. You dont want to give an inch, they dont want to give an inch. And Unless one of you gives way nothing gets solved. And sometimes the person who makes the effort, even if it is just saying those 3 words, feels as if they are taking a risk when saying it that they might not have their love returned and because of this, feel that the other person is in command of their feelings.

    very nice poem, misskey
    test
  3. kyza soza

    kyza soza This way up.

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    ^co-signs

    Very deep and emotion filled, kinda sweet.. imagery was real smooth and it built a perfect picture of events

    Feeling it hun

    Keep dropping and stay active ; )
    test
  4. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

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    You guys are great! It is a tug of war. See, in relationships woman sometimes forget to focus on the actions..The little things their men do to show the love. Men aren't always so quick to say it..but if you are truly with someone you love...they are showing it..

    We just gotta pay attention!

    1 love and peace..

    thanks for the feedback!
    test
  5. Moqtada_Al_Sadr

    Moqtada_Al_Sadr New Member

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    cmon ma. you was hatin on MY shit??
    test
  6. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

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    Listen..if you aren't gonna be constructive stay out the realm. All I said about your piece was do you!

    You will be short lived here with that attitude!
    test
  7. illpoetical

    illpoetical raising the bar everyday

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    Hard Mentality are gonna have me embracing celibacy all over again because..
    this shit was hot twin, you repped fully i liked the flow you had going and the structure and story were excellent, it was like wathcing you on tv and you two were right in front of me, very vivid, holla and stop procrastinating on the collab
    test
  8. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

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    you have the great ability to really take whoever reads right there with you. whether its speaking to them or for them( as in of course by being able to relate) this was one of those speaking to pieces that was so well done i was almost ready to say it for him lol. up^
    test
  9. v-Dynamo Kidd-v

    v-Dynamo Kidd-v Dynamite

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    i don't know why but when it comes to saying those words and i don't hear them back i get the same way. its just something about hearing those words that mean so much ya know. anyway great story, made me want to keep reading
    test
  10. nathedawg

    nathedawg New Member

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    good work her girl

    uppin for ya

    rep points....................
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  11. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    Never force a man to do anything. Showing is always more than saying. It's easy to say anything, but it's way harder to do. And when you see them doing it...(showing love), then that's all that should matter.


    one luv
    test
  12. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

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    Wow..you guys really took from this piece! I appreciate the feedback!
    test
  13. babyangel17

    babyangel17 New Member

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    i liked it the flow was good ya kno
    test
  14. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    i agree

    beautiful piece misskey....i always enjoy reading your work..u make it look so effortless..i would love to here some of your audios..u should put some up..
    test
  15. nathedawg

    nathedawg New Member

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    uppin for ya ma.........
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  16. nathedawg

    nathedawg New Member

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    uppin once more

    misskeydaqueen**

    i would love to hear this audio
    test
  17. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

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    ::slaps self::

    I coulda swore I replied to this earlier, damnit, cause I know i read it...anyway, loved the story in this...absolutely enjoyed it...but as I like to say about a lot of love issues, words are superficial...and actions aren't exactly precise...so, anyway, dope drop...
    test
  18. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

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    That was so sweet lol, bitter sweet how some say, but the message gets across so well, especially how this one went a little bit into it more and laid out some details.
    -Love
    test
  19. InTheStars

    InTheStars Reflective

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    I was really feeling this. I know that I have been wrapped up in those words before and it has wasted time when arguing about the matter. Those words when said too many times take on the same signifigance as any toher word...like..grilled cheese. If you say I love so many times it seems to have no meaning because it seems false and forced, no matter how easy it rolls off the tounge''like grilled cheese.. anyway that is what I think. And it is funny because I was reading in Cosmo about the same type of thing..you know.. getting stuck on those words...instead of seeing the "showing part" or the actions. I thought this was an amazig piece, I really loved it. You have too many reps points already so I don't want to rep this...but I'm not going to hate...LOL --GREAT PIECE.
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  20. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

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    ^^^Great reply mah, dig that..I feel that way too alot!!

    Thanks everyone!
    test
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