Diss to CHASE MURDER

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by bagglad, May 17, 2013.

  1. bagglad

    bagglad Member

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    Diss to CHASE MURDER

    CHASE you rookie trying to taste a cookie and
    I’m out of chocolate chips and your rocket ship land
    On whack ground jest a cracko the clown no plans
    I’ll bury your pride on every side, you can’t attack mine
    With those whack lines you’ll get smacked many times
    In the mouth, you here and there should fear and beware
    That you getting slapped upside the head I don’t care
    Can’t share this ass whooping, got no class looking for
    Skills, you a blind lame bind you with chain to your car
    Find your brain try heal that scar, your team walk about
    The street grab microphones scream and shout try doubt
    My skills, your girl got fiyah in her lace wanna take her
    To a higher place have sex in your bed I think she prefer
    I hit it dude don’t be rude attitude gets you no where
    Superior in skills you inferior no thrills next time beware
    Have a hardcore mind and soar above your rhymes like eagles
    On crack my wings flaps while your bling is crap you feeble
    test
  2. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

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    Why do you continue to ignore the advice youre given in regards to your writing?
    test
  3. bagglad

    bagglad Member

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    doing my best this is my style and that's how it is but wow how would you change this seem good to me
    test
  4. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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    There is no fixing this

    You aren't good at writing songs. At all. Don't know who tells you that you're good at it because your not.

    You have no concept of flow.
    Vocabulary is kindergarten.
    No grasp on structure.
    Your line don't make sense.
    Run on sentences.
    No personals.
    No punch lines.

    I hope you're good at something because if you think you're gonna make it with shit like this then you have a long, lonely, unfulfilling life ahead of you.

    Truth
    test
  5. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    I'm not sure how worse this could get
    test
  6. krisp

    krisp aka PhsyKris

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    :lux3:
    test
  7. krisp

    krisp aka PhsyKris

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    While I agree with resillent on this.... There is another side to it.... If you're shooting for the ill rhyme sceam and flow like an eminem or hopsin then proceed follow resillents instructions ..... Not every rapper is good because of ill rhymes tho... Some people just sound good on a mic no matter what they say...... Others have dope rhymes but shitty flow... Or a shitty voice.... Gotta play to what you're good at..... Don't try to be something you're not... Metaphors and punch lines wring your thing

    Edit* ... Nor is sick rhyme rhymes or inventing a new way to flow..... Hope your mic presence is dope
    test
  8. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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    test
  9. MrFlux001

    MrFlux001 Member

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    It's quite impressive how you haven't improved 1% since I first laid eyes on your fucking terrible open mics.


    Sent from my C6603 using Tapatalk 2
    test
  10. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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    test
  11. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    ::dead::
    test
  12. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

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    how would I do it? well for starters try adding some cadence to your verses.. breathe.. have some style and vary the tone to your lines.. it all reads like verbal diarreah, just endless nonsense with no structure or reasoning. its always hard to read through anything you write because it doesn't have a pause, a break or change in flow. just blah. and to top it off your word choice and multies suck really bad.
    test
  13. bagglad

    bagglad Member

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    only one way to describe this awesome yall
    test
  14. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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    Are you serious or are you being funny? This is not awesome, and you'll never improve if you think this is awesome.
    test
  15. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    Even in his comments, he still refuses to use commas....smh
    test
  16. bagglad

    bagglad Member

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    let face it some cats call dropping one verse a year elevating LOL
    test
  17. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    bag is improving...his line structure is more tight vs several months ago when he was beefing with shadow

    only way to improve is to write...keep at it cat. I see potential.

    some advice: don't close your lines with words that do not carry the rhyme scheme well. You end lines with words to begin the next...which is not really agreeable in text, unless your flow and presentation is really great. But you use ABAB format which is basic and not smooth with how some of your lines read.
    test
  18. bagglad

    bagglad Member

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    thanks for props coupe and I guess for the other read it and love it HA! HA! HA!
    test

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