[DF:WK2] 7. Mic-illaH vs. 11. _KDP_ (VOTE NOW!)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by TheReturn, Jul 13, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. TheReturn

    TheReturn Life of the Party

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2006
    Messages:
    6,893

    [​IMG]


    Welcome to your match-up thread. Click Here For Rules & Regulations

    Quick Over-View:
    12-64 lines to a topic provided in the [TOPICS] thread of the sticky area.
    Do not post more than 3 times within your own match-up thread.
    ^No more than once in anyone elses either!^
    Stay fresh, no recycling.

    Opt-In to the "Alternate" scheme before posting a verse.
    This will increase your chances of obtaining feedback and votes via another opponent.
    Just check in and state you wish to alternate, should you suffer a no-show.

    Down To Business.
    This Match-Up is between:

    In Rank Order

    Mic-illaH
    Active Worth: 002pts

    Vs.
    _KDP_
    Active Worth: 000pts


    Good Luck Ladies.
    Prove Your Worth
    test
  2. Mic-illaH

    Mic-illaH aka paisano

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2001
    Messages:
    425
    test
  3. _KDP_

    _KDP_ Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
    Messages:
    1,004
    test
  4. _KDP_

    _KDP_ Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
    Messages:
    1,004
    Topic: The Masks We Wear
    Written to: Mad Skrews 'Epic Tragedy'
    Music page of MAD SKREWS - MP3 music page on SoundClick



    i'm fighting to keep her alive in this feature
    aint relying on either but seems i'm divin in deeper
    everytime i try to rewind to times we actually cared
    to the laughs that we shared, the masks that we wear, gaspin for air

    fightin to keep her...
    but deep down i know that we're done
    no tears come, only memories of the lane we veered from
    appear young n outdated, thats how memories do
    forget how the years done aged things
    especially you
    a flashback's only half that;hypothetically viewed
    woulda shoulda coulda's... and all inevitably doomed
    but still, i reminisce...
    ...that perfume's so damn persistent, persuadin my senses to let em in
    times when, we'd have to sneak to the truck to get it in
    time spent, laughin geekin at people's pathetic whims
    me n you against the world was our motto
    but the world done beat us down so now we dont even bother. thats a problem
    the passion would soften what started off passively arguin...
    we knew we'd get back to the graspin 'n slobberin
    massage caress n kiss ya neck, now it's just another "don't"
    snapped back to the reality that has us at each others throats...


    i'm fighting to keep her alive in this feature
    aint relying on either but seems i'm divin in deeper
    everytime i try to rewind to times we actually cared
    to the laughs that we shared, the masks that we wear, gaspin for air


    she closed her eyes im not surprised she's gotta rise so early
    getcha rest baby, maybe now she won't be so surly
    so surely
    when I make smothered the emotion u feel,
    the way the pillow rests your head n now your motions are still
    it feels like old times...
    my aggressive nature wears you out, body limp from relentless slow grinds
    i know I'm not the same dude...
    mr. consistent, clutch? i came thru
    now my methods pain you?
    i did ya wrong, the way i treated you was seasonal
    hot n cold, frost n scalding burns so untreatable
    but the way you flipped the script made expectations unmeetable
    thats why my eyes twitch instantly upon seeing you
    we pretended for a while...
    summon every bit of energy just to muster a smile...grin, swallow, suffer the bile
    walkin past each other in the hall we dont even talk
    the relationship's been dead so now no need for the chalk...

    i'm fighting to keep her live in this feature
    script aint relying on either but seems i'm divin in deeper
    everytime i try to rewind to times we actually cared
    to the laughs that we shared, the masks that we wear, gaspin for air


    a blast from the past but now i'm back in the moment
    anger intensified n multiplied by the highest exponent
    done run out of ways to control it...
    so i just waited for the change of beat street patrollin,
    slip around the back n i'm on it
    black gloves, black mask- heart rate on overdrive
    hypin myself on how this hoe lied- cheatin ass bitch
    balcony is always open, i just reached for the switch
    creep to the bedroom open the door 'n become the gist
    no longer fightin to keep her live in this feature
    my minds in a seizure n seems i'm divin in deeper
    flashbacks to times when passion was there, i actually cared
    the laughs that we shared, the masks that we wear she's gaspin for air
    test
  5. Mic-illaH

    Mic-illaH aka paisano

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2001
    Messages:
    425
    [​IMG]

    While these sheep lie asleep, we protect the herd
    Of those who reep the benefit of our flesh and fur
    It was our turn, elected to keep a watchful eye
    Or else our friends become naked or lots will die
    We've united, decided that we must be active
    Take action for our pride and not be held captive
    To these humans, and unions who arrive at night
    With the simple notion to take our pride or life
    We've heard stories, and we all just choose to oppose
    How we're embarassed, stripped and used for clothes
    We aren't fools, wool is our evil the showman's pearl
    We want no part in contributing to our owner's world
    But worse yet, is the sound, shreeks and the awful shouts
    Of the last screams of life coming from the slaughter house
    While our herd, our family, mourns for the pass of life
    When friends and family become part of a forceful sacrifice
    We're sick and tired, we've united to appriase our need
    To fight these humans and protect and save our breed
    And now it's our turn to play watchdog, time to serve
    It's what we must do, to live and survive as a herd
    test
  6. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109
    Alternated.
    Jersey_Emcee no-showed.
    SpeedyCalhoun no-showed.
    _KDP_ vs Mic-illaH.

    Winner = 2pts
    Loser = 0pts
    test
  7. MC Guttso

    MC Guttso Fingers in Pies

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2006
    Messages:
    480
    KDP - I liked your verse and the beat to it. I thought the rhythm and flow to it was excellent. Haven't looked at everyone's but this could have potential for verse of the week in my personal opinion. I enjoyed the content of a guy trying to keep a shaky relationship alive, but then realised fuck it. lol. And the chorus kinda parts developed that idea well. My view: Good stuff all round.

    Mic-Illah: Interesting. Anthropormorphism - giving animals human feelings and qualities. Thought it was an engaging idea and gave me insight into how you can imagine sheep to feel about their life and death. So yeah, no massive quarms about the content. Rhyme scheme was fairly well constructed and I found it easy to read. Fun.

    v - KDP, I realise it's not always quantity over quality - but I felt KDP's verse was more complete, extensive and much better. Enjoyable reads.
    test
  8. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109
    KDP - I quite liked this .. it read like audio lyrics and the content was pretty cool .. I didn't read with the beat so I dunno how it was meant to flow considering that .. but for me I didn't need a beat playing to enjoy reading this with a text rhythm .. an enjoyable read ..

    Mic - hmm .. this wasn't a bad piece but it felt a bit dull and underdeveloped .. it was a decent idea but it definitely needed 'more' by way of content bulk to really hold any weight .. there wasn't much to really fault with the mechanics as it was written to a good enough standard .. it just lacked in giving me something interesting or driven ..

    Vote = _KDP_ .. first and foremost he exectued his idea better .. it was a more interesting and entertaining verse to read and offered more to the reader ..
    test
  9. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    13,681
    KDP - this piece was definitely a step up from what you delivered last week and one of the few pieces I actually enjoyed reading this week...the flow was smooth and the progression of the piece was nice...real easy to follow, but it actually had a point to it...I also personally like writing songs for the RSTL from time to time as I think they can work quite well...in this case the hook definitely continued to mount the piece and was a nice change of pace to revert from the story to let everything sink in.

    Mic - I think you took the most literal interpretation of this pic compared to everything else I've read this week, but it was just dull to me...the whole these 2 sheep guarding the herd...ok? the idea was undeveloped and it would only have been slightly interesting if you tried to put it on some disney animated flick type shit and have them fight off a farmer or something...i unno...piece was easy to read, but didn't offer anything for my time spent reading it.

    vote = KDP.
    test
  10. Mic-illaH

    Mic-illaH aka paisano

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2001
    Messages:
    425
    Yeah, I wrote the shit in 5 minutes .....just didn't want to no-show - and I alternated so didn't want to fuck somebody else out of criticism and comments on their piece. Nice piece by KDP and hope I have more time next week.
    test
  11. _KDP_

    _KDP_ Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
    Messages:
    1,004
    werd- just happy i didn't have to deal with a no show. good battle, i'm sure we'll face off again pimp
    test
  12. 3-Planes

    3-Planes Cruel... and unusual

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Messages:
    549
    kdp, an emotionally well-developed and mechanically tight-flowing little story here.. i don't know about putting hooks in text verses like that though, often a hook stands because of the delivery and intonation and that doesn't translate to a web page very good haha.. but yeah, personal and likeable piece here.. mic, that topic interpretation was perhaps a bit too literal for my taste and i couldn't connect with this verse.. it was just that: two dumb sheep (which by the way is an animal that panics en masse when you make a loud noise in their vincinity.. doesn't connect very well with the faithful guardian theme), decently written for what it was, but what it was wasn't much

    vote: _KDP_
    test
  13. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    kdp- damn. this was a dope verse. i was feelin the rhymes and the story. well developed. i agree with gutso this could possibly be one of the best verses i read so far. nothin i can say negative about this. i also liked that you wrote your verse to a beat. helps when you read it to judge the flow.

    mic-illah- the story almost seemed like there was not a lot of thought behind it. i wasnt surprised when i saw that you put it together in 5 minutes. im not gonna judge you on somethin you pretty much freestyled though. the rhymes were dope, ill give you that

    vote-kdp
    test
  14. .:Pain:.

    .:Pain:. Futurely J. Keeper

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2005
    Messages:
    10,365
    KDP - Really dope piece. Your style is probably to most similar to mine I've ever seen, even down to posting up the beat you wrote your shit to. You had some great multis, a damn good flow, and you story progressed very well. This is the first verse I've read by you, and honestly, I can't help but feel like you'll be a beast in this league if you keep this shit up, great verse homie, keep it up and try to up the ante on the creativeness tip.

    Mic - I mean it was alright for a little keystyle. Didn't really like much about your verse except the rhyme scheme, that was dope, the rest was shaky at best. You know the drill, spend more time on your verse and you'll get the vote.

    Vote - KDP...
    test
  15. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2001
    Messages:
    5,344
    KDP....

    mechanics were great, the read was smooth, and it kept me interested throughout, not really any flaws to point out, some i could knit pick about, but no reason to, it wasn't a spectacular verse but one of the better ones i read this week

    mic-illah...


    short and sweet, this was a good verse, but way to short so saying it lacked substance would be an understatement, although it had substance you could've done so much more, but to just blatenly talk as a sheep was kind of ehh, i would've liked it better if you through some sort of twist in, it felt to abrupt


    overall...

    vote kdp...just personally liked the verse better, m.illah didn't have a bad verse just didn't match up to his opponent in terms of a ligitimate comparison
    test
  16. prophetional

    prophetional hokey muh-fuckin' pokey

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Messages:
    1,685
    KDP... tight song... not even a verse but a full song... liked the content, can definately relate as i'm going through a divorce right now...
    that right there sums it up beautifully!!! man, i got chills reading that shit thinkin' about my own shit... good shit!

    mic-illah... i liked your verse too... who would ever thought sheeps would go renegade on us... thank God for cotton, but damn the trees might turn on us next...
    it was a good verse, but i was real short and i just don't think it had enuff to out do KDP in this one... shrot came up short here.

    vote = KDP
    test
  17. tbone

    tbone Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2000
    Messages:
    7,552
    vote- KDP

    KDP- Good shyt fella, i don't know what really to say. I mean ya shyt was banging, hope you come strong next week. I felt ya shyt to be mind draining though, reading that long shyt. But big ups.


    Illah- ya shyt was par not so so, but par, it had a few lines i liked. BUt I aint trying to send you down the rabbit hole, i'm just attempting to get my votes in right now. So with the advice of others, i hope you take it and do well next week.
    test
  18. Scatterboxx

    Scatterboxx a.k.a. infinite truth.

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2008
    Messages:
    475
    surprising.

    kdp.
    dope verse. decent content. nothing special about the story - a bit bland & far from engaging. still, it had substance. & that's literally all you needed in order to win this battle. your mechanics were alright - you maneuvered a pretty rhyme scheme throughout a shaky flow. it was obvious you were just throwing all the rhymes together you could, disregarding literary flow, let alone rhythmic flow. who knows tho - didn't try it to the beat. it was an awkwardly structured read - some very short lines, some much longer... which left me to wonder what happened to the whole idea of a smooth read. oh well. still a decent verse. far more than enough to slaughter mic-illah. but... step it up if you're gonna face better.

    mic.
    see. here's the thing. it wasn't a bad read at all. but, it was obviously a rushed verse with very little detail, no hook, & a whole slew of cliche concepts. i'm one for originality, personally. & this verse lacked it entirely. your mechanics were far better than k's. the flow was more consistent than k's, your rhyme scheme was more natural & also far more creatively worded than k's. so kudos there. but, mechanics doesn't win it alone. had you brought life to your piece through well thought-out sequencing & actual depth, you would have probably won. you seem to be a naturally better writer than k. unfortunately, you dropped a short piece that lacked any truly original meaning whatsoever.

    v-kdp.
    test
  19. DeadKing

    DeadKing The Perfect Method

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 1999
    Messages:
    1,517
    kdp - this was pretty dope, the overall feel of the piece seemed to move along fairly well and concluded nicely, maybe it was the reiterations of the gasping for air line, or maybe its just cause i like when vicious things happen to people, your flow was on point, mechanically it was sound, i really wish you would of elaborated on killing the female as i think that would of been a doper read, but thats just cause i get kicks off a good visual, dope drop

    mic-illah - see what can happen when you alternate, lol, but i think even if your verse was longer and you did flesh it out to a more complete piece, i think you still would of lost, your first 20 lines to kdp's is still obvious to who won. it wasnt a horrible piece but it didnt do much for me, didnt keep me interested, didnt care to where it was going, and i didnt really picture much, so...... just seemed kinda bland


    vote - kdp
    test
  20. TheReturn

    TheReturn Life of the Party

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2006
    Messages:
    6,893
    _KDP_ wins 10-0. Vote from tbone does not count.

    _KDP_
    Win (2 points)
    Early bird (1 point)
    10 valid links (2 points)

    5 points total for week 2 (3 points overall)

    Mic-illaH
    Loss (-1 point)
    Sheep pic (1 point)
    5 valid links (1 point)

    1 point total for week 2 (2 points overall)
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)