deaths voice

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by allnakey, Jun 9, 2003.

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  1. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    I dont really know anymore and I dont really care, how does 15 mins sound to you maybe that will shut you the fuck up. Death speaks to me in so many ways it taunts and teases my physiological demons it breathes while eternally sleeping.

    It speaks to me yet you cant hear it.
    IT’S the delirious drug that keeps my body moving
    and my brain from turning.
    The thought the smell the touch keeps me in fears it.
    Fear of death fear of it’s tempting voices is what turns me away from it.

    FEAR is my guiding savior in my suicidal thought.
    test
  2. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    upping^ stop sleeping ZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZ
    test
  3. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    i'll try this one more time upping
    test
  4. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    "FEAR is my guiding savior in my suicidal thought."

    Simple line, yet makes you think of what fear may be to us, the reader, yet what fear is to you, who wrote it. I thought it was a nice piece, overall. It had a good format to it, because it helped us to know what kind've reading we should do with it, so we can flow, as the writer (you) had wrote it for, feel me? Rhyme scheme was decent, as well as word choice, both aspects could've been a bit better, needs a bit improvement, yet which aspect doesn't? Other than that, as I said, nice piece. My blessings..
    test
  5. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    yea i know i could do a lot better on this peice but it is just something i took a couple of minutes to write.

    thanks for the critisism STAY UP
    test
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