Death of a Poet

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Infonation, Jun 5, 2003.

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  1. Infonation

    Infonation Info for the Nation

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    Jun 3, 2003
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    Ain't my face like yours/
    Don't I bleed like you/
    Don't I talk, walk, eat, and sleep just like you/
    It seems that I don't/
    Because when you look at me, my face seems to be blue/
    I feel like one Palestinian in a field of angry Jews/
    A young man with an alienated soul, in search of love/
    So I turn the circles in my eyes to the Lord above/
    But no one ever talks to me/
    I wonder is my face like yours/
    Don't I bleed red blood like you/
    Had to take a knife to my wrist, to show that these words are true/
    Show myself that my face was not blue/
    I was like everyone else, but nobody knew/
    Nobody cares, and I realized my face wasn't like yours/
    My mind began to open doors, the passages I held were like forts/
    Hard to get into, but I saw I bleed and have cuts and sores like all different people from different wars/
    Blue, yellow, black, white, and orange people of all sorts/
    So I sit and cry, wondeing why I die inside/
    When other poets write to stay alive///
    test
  2. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    May 25, 2003
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    I was feeling the title, jumped out at me. The piece itself wasn't all I expected it to be, but it was something. I thought it was nice, although even if the length wasn't that long, it lagged in a couple lines, then got right back on track. Other than that, this piece had nice rhyme scheme, nice flow. Although, the slashes are usually used in Text/Open Mic pieces, not really Poetry, but I think whatever you do is good, do you! But it's good to see periods and commas in the piece, as well. My blessings..
    test
  3. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Messages:
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    I agree with Nephew on this one...it did have spots where it seemed to lag. It's a nice joint, it just seemed like a slow read, like you're trying to make apoint but you're beating around the bush with it. Keep writing though...you'll grow in due time.
    test
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