.............Daily Events...........

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Craccer_Jacc, May 31, 2003.

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  1. Craccer_Jacc

    Craccer_Jacc SudAnillyst

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    i am going to write about the gurl...........
    this gurl in my head at night.................
    haunting my heart with feelings of essence................
    i love her so much and i never get her name.....................
    i dont understand the feelings i have for her...............
    this................
    energy wave that pulsates through my body.....................
    when....................
    when i envision her lips................ her kiss.................
    sweet as honey succle....................... and her touch..................
    her touch as smooth as jazz..................
    this BOom BIp................
    that gives my heart rhythm...............
    this................
    I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR...........
    more.........
    more then that.............
    this THE WORLD COUNDNT HOLD ME BACC..................
    this feeling................ the structure of being that is me in so many wayssssssssssssssssss..........................
    then i'm bacc to me and her hair enslaven me bacc................
    bacc to her smell intoxicated smelllllllllllllllllll.................
    SHE WORE ME ON HER SHOULDER AND I RODE THE VIBE ...........
    this love thief enchantress of cerebelums deep.......................
    unifyen the energy.............. her posistive............... balancen .................my negative.............
    understudied was my life......................
    then in a powermove of synapse my eyes open with the urge to write....................................................Jacc
    test
  2. Atmosphera

    Atmosphera New Member

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    Amazing


    SHE WORE ME ON HER SHOULDER AND I RODE THE VIBE

    I Rode The Vibe The Whole Way Through This Poem
    test
  3. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    man u always just pop up...stick around...lol

    dope piece!

    love how u did this one....the line atmosphera quoted was dope

    really feelin this piece

    kinda feels like a lovers vent or something

    lol....i likes kinda twists and turns on ya....

    keep doin ya thang craccer
    test
  4. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

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    nice lil poem right here

    started out ok but as I you went on it really got good

    Like the last half alot

    Different style

    good work

    PEACE AND GODBLESS
    test
  5. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
    Messages:
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    "when i envision her lips................ her kiss.................
    sweet as honey succle....................... and her touch..................
    her touch as smooth as jazz.................. "


    I was feeling this, it was very mellow and straight to the point. I loved how you organized this piece, because it tells how your flow of it is and how we should read it, feel me? I respect that when the writer shows the reader how it should be said. Other than that, imagery was decent (needs some work), metaphors were strong at times, weak in others (similies, as well). Overall, a very nice and pointmaking piece, mos def. My blessings..
    test
  6. Craccer_Jacc

    Craccer_Jacc SudAnillyst

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    thanks for the reply's i really appreciate the feedbacc juss scripten my dream this morning when i woke up


    keep responding and i'll do the same















    *strolls out smoken a KOOL*
    test
  7. Craccer_Jacc

    Craccer_Jacc SudAnillyst

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    test
  8. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    what about mines...
    test
  9. Atmosphera

    Atmosphera New Member

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    Seems Like One Amazing Dream, Write More Of These Dreams You Have & I Shall Always Respond
    test
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