Cry

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Philly_215, May 10, 2005.

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  1. Philly_215

    Philly_215 The Silent Poet

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    God made me
    Man molded me
    The world watches me move
    People judge me, speak of my sins
    But what else could they do
    I made them and remember them and cover them due to shame
    I deal with them in different ways, anger to equal pain
    A smile the size of my "its okay"
    A tear for each event is what I have been deprived
    But a tear I have for everyone that God has placed before my eyes

    My shoulders are broad I know that they bear weight
    My Bearden may seem great, but I carry my cross for that is my fate
    I look God's children straight in there eyes when they speak
    Without a blink or wandering of my eyes
    But I have not found the strength to go to the mirror and face mine
    I would ask for help but how and why
    And better still what do I ask for,
    When I think I really just need to cry
    I ask so much of the world but what guide lines do I set for my self
    I want to seat here and work it out but feel that wouldn't be good to my health

    I want to scream and I think I want to scream out for help
    But rather keep that scream to my self
    Instead I give you a smile, pass you a joke, or share with you a laugh
    I know that I should take this serious but have spent far to much time being sad
    So I stay with a smile and every things a joke
    But rest a surd that even thou I feel this way I have hope
    For if "God put you to it God will bring you through it"

    Thoughts of a little brown child
    test
  2. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    nice ending....thought the poem was about u but the ending cleared that up......really vivid piece..i saw each line...

    nice job
    test
  3. xomzi

    xomzi The Good News is here!!

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    Good poem man. I liked it alot, keep up the good writes.
    test
  4. eM-T

    eM-T Because We Are

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    "God made me" <--- you do know that your parents had sex right? lol

    well I hate religion... but this poem is very well done. Love the way you flow philly.

    "The world watches me move
    People judge me, speak of my sins
    But what else could they do
    I made them and remember them and cover them due to shame
    I deal with them in different ways, anger to equal pain
    A smile the size of my "its okay""

    ^ this is awsome and that last line was so unexpected. I have tried to capture this smile with words (smiles forced through obligation) but the way you worded it, not to mention deliever it was right the fuck on.

    "I look God's children straight in there eyes when they speak
    Without a blink or wandering of my eyes
    But I have not found the strength to go to the mirror and face mine
    I would ask for help but how and why
    And better still what do I ask for,
    When I think I really just need to cry
    I ask so much of the world but what guide lines do I set for my self
    I want to seat here and work it out but feel that wouldn't be good to my health"

    ^ I feel this man. I guess that is why faith is so perfect. Don't question dont think dont work it out. Sit back like a lump of .... and let god work out for you. Or you know die and be rewarded for your patience. The point is, we can all take comfort in thinking we know something that makes us feel so bold that we actually feel we have the right to not want to know. Its in Gods hands now. <-- in all honesty, my hands work much faster.

    "God put you to it God will bring you through it" <-- im not sure how to react to this line. .. life feeds death? This is a scary line to me. False hope kills braincells.

    anyway, overall this peice if wonderful. Did an amazing job expressing yourself. But some basic ideas in some amazing contexts. Two replys for this is fucked up. this goes up.

    -eMpTy
    test
  5. Philly_215

    Philly_215 The Silent Poet

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    lol don't turn this into a Mind~soul, UFo thing lol

    but on the real many times i felt that way but yo my life has a messed up way of letting me think i got a handle on it and then bam so oh other shit happens and i'm back at rock bottom. but when i admit i need help or really just do the best i can and not get to cocky about it like its all me small things start happening that makes me say i'm glade i put it in God's hands cause he orchestrated one hell of a show. and thats why i believe that if he put me in it he will get me out

    but i repect your opinion on this and i also know where you are coming from on it so one love peace
    test
  6. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    This is very nice. It read very well and I imagine sounds even better aloud. You started it and ended it very nicely and used your words very nicely to convey the tone.
    test
  7. Philly_215

    Philly_215 The Silent Poet

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    yo ^^^^ i have been looking for a poem from you have i missed it

    i mean you reply all the time i wanted to return the favor what you got
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  8. This was interesting. It seemed to symbolise the path of an innocent child when religion and faith is pressed upon him. I didn't know what to make of the ending where you hid your screams under luaghter. I didnt know whether to feel like you had escaped through your humour or not. I liked the piece overall. Keep it up!
    test
  9. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

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    But a tear I have for everyone that God has placed before my eyes
    dang, I know that. It's nothing to do with feeling sorry because I mean do as you want done to yourself-but its just that I don't wanna be bothered by other ppl.'s judgments. You know how it goes. Man, I like how it ended. Its only a continuing. I'll be honest, I don't smile when I'm not feelin great. When I'm feelin like that the only way I can crack a smile is if I'm approached. lol, you know how ppl. say after you throw up you feel better? Well same goes with crying.

    -Much Love
    test
  10. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

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    woooord up

    this was cool Philly.....different....more laid back....love the message....the open honesty....the passion behind the tears....sometimes we need to cry

    its a form of release

    this was tight though I tip my hat to you
    test
  11. babygrrl820

    babygrrl820 New Member

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    I want to scream and I think I want to scream out for help
    But rather keep that scream to my self
    Instead I give you a smile, pass you a joke, or share with you a laugh


    hidden emotions. i love it. hiding emotions is something i do best. this hit home.
    test
  12. AlmostFamous

    AlmostFamous U got a problem?

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    niceness for sure...
    test
  13. FreakEmoWriter9

    FreakEmoWriter9 New Member

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    this poem really reminds me of the life my bestfriend lives. she has gone through things that most people dont see in a lifetime, but she has and she's only 15. she acts the same towards the main character of this piece. puts on a bright smile, jokes around, lives everyday as if the previous never happened. this poem is one to inspire all, great work and keep spreadin ya flames.
    test
  14. Bhitiah

    Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures

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    lol @ you do know your parents had sex ....LOL .........


    This was tight. Good drop ...I dont really like this kind of stuff but you did it brilliantly.
    test
  15. Paki_Gyal

    Paki_Gyal ...PAKI'FA'LIFE'....

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    I like that...It's good.
    test
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