Crimson Circles.

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Carpe Noctem, Dec 21, 2011.

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  1. Carpe Noctem

    Carpe Noctem Neos Helios

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    The first man devised a wooden club.
    The modern man split the atom.
    Mankind traded rags for polished shoes
    To dance in the same crimson circles.

    Scarcity makes even warm-hearts grow cold.
    And death is man's most prized air loom
    Generation to generation passed down.

    The highest achievement of humanity
    Lies not in machines, vaccines and culture
    But it's the knack for changing outward form -
    Reptile, savage gatherer, the suit and tie.

    The first man sacrificed his brothers to the gods.
    Modern man sacrificed his brothers for the profits.
    Around and around we trot, we dance
    In the same crimson circles.
    test
  2. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    wow this was profound. deeply metaphorical and yet.. you spoke in a very understandable language. yet very eloquent. short and to the point

    fav part:

    The first man sacrificed his brothers to the gods.
    Modern man sacrificed his brothers for the profits.
    test
  3. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    60,689
    You are an amazing writer Dex!
    test
  4. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    what is crimson in regards to this piece ? I ask because it's really good imagery and yet vague at the same time, allowing for the reader to really put a personal stamp on it...but taken as a whole I feel this a bit holistic and could have used more original ways to express the evolutionary/change/matrix of mans condition...still good.

    a few things I learned about you in this

    1. your world view
    2. your religion
    3. and gaged your depth of slumber

    all at once. that's pretty neat to do in one piece. props.

    I wrote a piece last season for the rstl called the crimson tides...like you it was the imagery, but I used the worded because of the syntax too. how about you here ?
    test
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