Cosmetic Prosthetics

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Coup d'état, Dec 11, 2010.

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  1. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,096
    this is a light hearted piece with a heavy message- or so I hope.
    ______________________________________________________


    I was sleeping
    Not really
    Really just speaking
    Yes, a mental riot seeking
    My mind was Apple Candy dandruff
    Keeping up its house keeping

    I was thinking
    What was spoken
    Is like a chucky cheese token
    Redeem for a lesser prize
    Currently broken

    My mind: cosmetic prosthetics
    It was apparently apathetic
    To natural aesthetics

    So severe lately -though obvious now
    It's Dubious at best
    And obnoxious how
    Unrealistic ideals gain nauseous appeal

    If not for this reveal
    Individuals would feel again
    Might maybe conceal their age with E vitamins
    Washed down with a Heineken
    Or two
    Not with credit or a knife
    Must I remind you my friend ?

    Invite them in, naturally
    Bury the hatchet and latch it for them
    Beauty is the eye of the older, saying
    "Distant dissonance echos most resilient in its hosts brilliance"
    Every now and then
    test
  2. G Force

    G Force Member

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    This is another good pieve you've written. I can't believe nobody has given you any feedback. The pauses between are well spaced out which is a great unique style you have. This gives the reader a sense of intrigue. This particular piece was more cryptic than the one you wrote about the annoying person who poked you in the ribs, that time you lit a cigarette in a hall full of people. Cryptic although it was, i found it interesting in the sense that after a couple of reads i think i know whats going on but then on second thoughts, question it.
    test
  3. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    4,096
    thanks for reading GF

    I don't think this has any comments because of the syllable shift/tone shift halfway...See, I start it off flowing one way then abruptly I change the feel. That is because this came from two different ideas. ha ha. anyhow, fuck it. it is what it is.

    This stanza: My mind... (that's the point of change)
    test
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