CONTENDERSHIP:: 3.Addderal XR 30 4-1 vs 4. Opera toonist 3-1 vs 4. Woe 2-1

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Pent uP, Aug 28, 2006.

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  1. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2001
    Messages:
    14,147
    [​IMG]


    RSTL RULES AND REGULATIONS

    RULES AND REGULATIONS - THERE'S SOME NEW SHIT SO CLICK AND READ


    The Standard League Rules will still be Enforced

    Due Dates

    VERSES DUE: Friday 12:00am PST/3:00am EST
    Verses posted after the deadline will not count!

    VOTES DUE Sunday: 12:00am PACIFIC/3:00 Midnight EST
    Votes posted after the deadline will not count!

    • Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.
    • Verses must incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.
    • Anyone who does not post at least 4 rap lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.
    • During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.
    • Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a “show” but will not result in a match. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent posts between 16-64, you will lose the match but you will remain in the league. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent does not show, you will “Win by no-show”.

    Voting:
    • If you do not show you can still vote and post the links in your match to receive full voting points. In addition, if you do not show, yet vote on at least 4 matches (Or, every match available, should there be less than 4 matches to vote on) you will remain in the league.
    • Votes must be hidden! To hide a vote, first thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. The last thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, a backslash “/”, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. Unhidden votes will not count towards the match or towards your vote requirements.
    • No second chance votes! If your vote has been edited, even it was only to hide it, your vote will not count towards the match or towards your vote requirements.
    • No bias votes! If you have a personal investment in wanting someone to lose, whether because that member voted against you once, or you just don’t like that person, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match. If have a personal investment in wanting someone to win, whether because they’re crew member, or because you want to face that person in the next week’s brackets, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match.
    • ”Bias” must be confirmed by a Moderator.
    • If there is a match which you will not be able to vote on, due to “Bias” of any type, state so within your match prior to Verses Due Deadline. If this reduces the number of matches available for you to vote on to the point where you are unable to vote on at least 4 matches, the point scale will be adjusted according to how many matches you do vote on.
    • 3-ways are inevitable. In order to provide a tie-breaker in a 3-way, you are now required to indicate in what order the contestants finished (1st, 2nd, 3rd).
      anyone who does not show or vote is suspended one week and must sign-in again to be inserted the following week.



    Topics: http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=1006008
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  2. [woe]

    [woe] masterShake

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2006
    Messages:
    68
    Hi. I'll try writing before Friday this time.
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  3. Annihilation

    Annihilation CLAUS HOUSE

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2003
    Messages:
    458
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  4. Adderall XR 30

    Adderall XR 30 New Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2005
    Messages:
    80
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  5. Adderall XR 30

    Adderall XR 30 New Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2005
    Messages:
    80
    Topic = Explain your user name

    What's in a name? More than you'd imagine and less than you think...



    I used to catch a smack from Pop every time I acted out
    So it was a massive shock when he packed and trafficked south
    Leaving Mom and myself to pick up the pieces and make
    A decent attempt at creating a cohesive estate

    The reasons he left aren't as vital as the things he left with
    Most notably the sternness that he'd keep my ass in check with
    It wasn't that my mother lacked in strength
    It was more the fact that, without Dad, my mind entered a drastic state
    Of fragility, I was only 2 at the time
    And Mom didn't know exactly what to do in this bind
    She figured, if she chose to punish me for my discretions
    That I might just crack, or plummet deep into depression
    Seeing the expression on my face resemble blessedness
    Was all the reinforcement that she'd need to clean the hectic mess
    That I had a tendency to leave where I'd go
    If only she'd known how this would have impeded my growth
    Maybe she wouldn't have done it, nevertheless, it happened
    So I never really learned how to take account for my actions

    This showed itself in school; all my papers got scribbled on
    I only shined while in gym class getting my dribble on
    There was so much in my locker that it would hardly stand
    Books, letters, papers; packed in like a sardine can
    K through 12th grade presented a daunting challenge
    Cause' I was a shaky kid in a world that was awfully balanced
    And all my off-beat talents, such as drawing and writing
    Never seemed to translate into careers that were all that exciting
    So often you'd find me off on the block lighting a Dutch
    Rotting my brain rather than hitting the books and rising to clutch
    All the opportunities that flew to me in flocks
    I quickly lost motivation and grew to be distraught

    After I left home, a new batch of problems arose
    Suffering from lessons that I was never taught and it showed
    I was there, but I rarely ever used college for growth
    Only thing I gave a shit about was concocting some prose
    Posting it on a site to garner applause from my foes
    And though I had success, I ended up caught in the throes
    Of monotony, I thought, my god, there's gotta' be a way
    For me to find something I love to do and possibly behave
    Long enough to see it through till the end and make a living
    Social Sciences became the game that I thanked for giving
    Me some purpose, still, despite of my best intentions
    It was an infinite battle to fight for my heads attention

    Then one day, I thought I magically stumbled across the reason
    That I couldn't concentrate and it seemed like an awesome thesis
    Basically, the chemicals floating inside my brain
    Were not firing at the pace needed to sustain my train of thought
    I sought out a specialist, she provided some medicine
    And I'll be damned, the shit worked like it was heaven sent
    Bills were paid on time and my house was markedly clean
    Not to mention, I could finish things that I started, it seemed like
    A green light flashed, I was aggressive yet still in peace
    But after a few of weeks the effects of the pills decreased

    And suddenly I was back to my old habits and such
    Harnessing my will to work cause' I didn't have it that much
    Once again, I put my efforts into crafting masterpieces
    Cause' they were the only things that would grant me massive releases
    Of stress, I rejoined the league and had extensive success
    But left cause' I was burnt out from always testing the best
    Good news is that I'm back and I gave up the happy pills
    Plus I got my Masters degree, I'm sure you're glad to have me, still

    There's the question of the name, at first I made it to hide
    But now it serves as a reminder of that phase of my life
    Cause' now I am what I am, regardless of whether it fits in the mold
    And that's cool as long everything I do drips from the soul
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  6. OperaToonist

    OperaToonist symphony of destruction

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2006
    Messages:
    40
    Jack
    Satan



    He waits behind the gates of hell compelling the masses
    As caskets swell with whispers expelled as he passes
    A man patiently dwells as he awaits his fate
    Draped in darkness’s cape Satan makes no mistake
    Confessional box a cage that man cannot escape
    Serrated words await as sinister plots take shape
    Jack Bates has had an epiphany of deduction
    Soon to be placated by the Symphony of Destruction
    Light pours upon the decorum like the after storm
    Every piece carefully crafted like the words he forms
    For out of humanities torment grew his master thesis
    Transforming his victims into masterpieces
    Satan replaces the Priest, and so it begins
    Father, please forgive me, for I have sinned
    Every action brims with Good and Evil within
    Every king bears a crown of sorrow, even with Him
    Sin and Virtue are views taken hereafter the fact

    I took a prostitute’s life shortly after the act
    I cracked, I was disgusted by what I’d done
    Her lungs expanding, pantin’ like the slut she’d become
    My hands strung her neck like I burned from her sins
    Father, what have I done, I must turn myself in

    Foregone conclusions do not constitute my realm
    But seldom do higher callings put you at the helm
    You were overwhelmed by God’s love in her release
    You follow a greater calling that’s above
    the police
    What of my sins, I slid in between the whore’s thighs
    It must be fresh in her mind right before she dies
    Try as he might God is no suppressor of upheaval
    The Kingdom of Heaven’s but the lesser of two evils
    You must teach these unsavory temptresses the price
    Of enticing good men into possessing their vice

    If I slice them up I become just as worse as them!
    If you don’t how many men will be cursed n’ condemned!
    Embark on God’s task and shine his light in the dark
    The blood must flow like the floods of Noah’s Ark

    A stark landscape it is, our city drowns in sin
    Like a poisoned corpse the town rots from within
    I see the pleasantries of high society’s vanity
    Pride, Lust, Greed and certainly gluttony
    What of the sins you see in the lower class
    Sloth and Envy
    And you?
    I am God’s Wrath
    Oh how the Symphony rang in Lucifer’s ears
    As if all Seven Sins sang he nearly reveled in tears
    His Piece de Resistance, its final hour at hand
    Time to unleash the beast and devour the man
    One final thing, my son, she’s your first amassed death?
    Yes, as I confessed, right down to her last breath
    You lie, but I forgive you, you’d seen her a year before
    Had you killed her then your bastard children wouldn’t lie dead on the floor

    Tha- that ransom letter- truly she bore my sons?
    The little ones starved in a cage once the whore was gone
    A proper surgeon of respect out fucking a slut
    You called her bluff and snuffed her windpipe shut

    My own flesh and blood, god… you’re no infernal priest!
    And you’re no Saint, but I offer you eternal peace
    Let the wrath of vengeance in my heart never waver!
    Do so and I will forever look upon you in favor
    Adorned with fire was his path as he hacked up strippers
    And born was the legend of none but Jack the Ripper.





    [​IMG]
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  7. blackwell

    blackwell New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    199
    [hide]Aderrall: Aderall man you really need to step ya game up, I can see your opponent is an experianced writer and the winner is clear. Your Piece lacked depth, imagination, and creativity. You didnt use no wordplay, no metaphors, or anything. I got confused with ya topic as well it seemed as though you were just writing to fill the page up. Step ya game up sunny better luck next time.

    Opera toonist: Lol half way through ya piece i thought it might be about jack the ripper. I like the way wrote it, was as if two people were having a conversation within it was really cool. You had good imagery and creativity. you used Good vocab and the piece was really easy to read although it came across as if you have a grudge against women? it was clear who took this.

    vote= opera toonis[/hide]

    .....vote won't count
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  8. Atheist

    Atheist Storyteller

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2002
    Messages:
    1,707
    [hide]First of all, I can't believe Woe no showed.

    Damnit, guy.

    But now, onto the match up.

    Adderal: You chose a very difficult subject, but you approached it incredibly well. When I was browsing the topics for this week, I really didn't know how an individual could write an interesting verse to it, but you proved me wrong on that account. There were some standout lines sprinkled here and there, the flow was bananas, and the content was interesting overall. A couple of lines I liked were;

    Of fragility, I was only 2 at the time
    And Mom didn't know exactly what to do in this bind
    She figured, if she chose to punish me for my discretions
    That I might just crack, or plummet deep into depression


    and...

    And suddenly I was back to my old habits and such
    Harnessing my will to work cause' I didn't have it that much
    Once again, I put my efforts into crafting masterpieces
    Cause' they were the only things that would grant me massive releases


    An enjoyable read overall.

    Opera: This was a fantastic piece. It was vivid, graphic, flowed relatively well, the rhyme scheme was one of the best I've seen from you, and the back and forth dialogue intertwined superbly. There's not much I can criticise about this. When I first started reading, I thought you were going to give some twist to that quote, "Every sweet has its sour, every good its evil", but I enjoyed how you flipped this topic into a Jack the Ripper story. Nice work. Some extracts I enjoyed were;

    What of my sins, I slid in between the whore’s thighs
    It must be fresh in her mind right before she dies
    Try as he might God is no suppressor of upheaval
    The Kingdom of Heaven’s but the lesser of two evils
    You must teach these unsavory temptresses the price
    Of enticing good men into possessing their vice


    and...

    A stark landscape it is, our city drowns in sin
    Like a poisoned corpse the town rots from within
    I see the pleasantries of high society’s vanity
    Pride, Lust, Greed and certainly gluttony
    What of the sins you see in the lower class
    Sloth and Envy
    And you?
    I am God’s Wrath


    Very entertaining. Overall, in my opinion, Opera Toonist took this. I think from the very subject Adderal chose, he put himself at a disadvantage. It was an incredibly difficult topic to make interesting, and although you did well with it, you didn't come as good as Opera did in this match up. Very enjoyable verses from both individuals, it's just a shame Woe couldn't have shown up as well.[/hide]
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  9. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 1999
    Messages:
    5,954
    [hide]
    Adderall XR 30, first off before I say anything about the piece specifically, I just want to note that I felt like I was reading my life story. Everything appealed to me about your piece, not only the particulars, flow, rhyme scheme, content, depth, relatedness, but you took on a topic that might have seemed like an "easy way out", or to some more of a challenge to draw people in. I think people should be drawn in with this, being that it's probably the story of many individuals, including me.

    A life story I'm guessing will leave some people put off, maybe because it's not as twisty and turny and edgy or whatever. But I feel like in this cage, the human interest result of a broken family and a misunderstood child should create that edginess for the folks that can relate. Lyrically and flow wise it was perfectly written, each line blended together, allowing the story to follow a nice path to it's end. The rhyming was neccessary, with nothing forced and nothing too outstanding that the story was overshone. It flows like a song would. The parts of it all that I could really relate to, feel and definitely understand were the first through third verses. Specifically my favorite lines were:
    "The reasons he left aren't as vital as the things he left with
    Most notably the sternness that he'd keep my ass in check with
    It wasn't that my mother lacked in strength
    It was more the fact that, without Dad, my mind entered a drastic state
    Of fragility, I was only 2 at the time
    And Mom didn't know exactly what to do in this bind
    She figured, if she chose to punish me for my discretions
    That I might just crack, or plummet deep into depression"
    .

    All in all, for me it would have taken alot to compete with this, in my opinion.

    --------
    Opera toonist:
    I'll start by saying the concept was dope, but not super original, but in this case it doesnt take away at all from the piece. The structure was also dope, as it allowed me to follow the story easily, seeing as the the flowing and the rhyming wasn't superb. But the storytelling was excellent, and the dialogue was appropriately twisted. Hell, even the colors chosen gave the piece a twisted feeling. It progressed well and the conversation being carried on was interestingly ambiguous, allowing the story to remain uncertain as to its ending until the end. Good job there. You didn't sacrifice plot for pointless rhyming but the rhyming even so wasn't too impressive. The flow was up to par for the most part, and the wording was ok, but I still think alot more could have been done with the rhyming to make the piece even more vicious. Alot of it was fairly predictible and seemed without effort, for instance, "master thesis and masterpieces" and the only symphony of destruction bit. While appropriate, those two concepts are wholly more interesting and deep then presented here. The very strength of this piece was again, the dialogue that carried the piece through all the way to the end, as well as the narration at the beginning and the end. It was presented well structurally, but the rhyming just wasn't too impressive for me.

    ------------
    VOTE: This was tough at first, because Adderall's piece hit home immediately, and I couldn't find many faults, and Opera's piece had some strengths that alot of people lack in this league so far that I've read, a well structured and well told story. However, I have to give this to Adderall for the simple fact that I feel his verse was executed better ALL AROUND, rhyming, flow, content, progression etc etc. However, this was really close and both efforts were impressive.

    Peace.
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  10. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 1999
    Messages:
    5,954
    woo, double post, my bad.
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  11. SteveThaGreat

    SteveThaGreat Zeus

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2006
    Messages:
    37
    [HIDE]cool battle...


    adderall- ur piece was cool, easy to relate to.. good wording-- didn't come off as very fresh or creative, flow was alright everything was solid.


    operatoonist- wowzers, dope fuckin piece.. the flow was on point, the dialogue was executed with wonderful precision, the wording was awesome and the imagery was impressive...


    my vote is opera toonist[/HIDE]
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  12. TheReturn

    TheReturn Life of the Party

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2006
    Messages:
    6,893
    [hide]
    This was another enjoyable read for me, I have to say.


    Adderal:

    Verse really hit home with me, man. I can't even begin to pick out all the stuff I can relate to in that verse. I think my favorite part of all were these lines:

    K through 12th grade presented a daunting challenge
    Cause' I was a shaky kid in a world that was awfully balanced
    And all my off-beat talents, such as drawing and writing
    Never seemed to translate into careers that were all that exciting


    Not too complex or anything, but I related to it no doubt. As for the piece itself, I think it could have been structured better, with some more inners and some better vocab. I have to say, when I saw the topic you chose I thought you were crazy, and never thought a good verse could be written about something like that, but you actually did a pretty good job with it.


    Claus:

    This was the first piece of yours that I have read, and I was thoroughly impressed. The structure and wording was very well done, and the vocab and subtle inner rhymes made for a very nice piece. The topic of conversation with the devil or God or something like that has been beaten into the ground, but I liked the twist at the end and honestly didn't see it coming.

    A stark landscape it is, our city drowns in sin
    Like a poisoned corpse the town rots from within
    I see the pleasantries of high society’s vanity
    Pride, Lust, Greed and certainly gluttony
    What of the sins you see in the lower class
    Sloth and Envy
    And you?
    I am God’s Wrath


    Loved that part right there. Do you have a link to any of your other stuff? I'll go check your previous matches, but other than that like open mics or anything? Some nice writing.



    I gotta give this to Operatoonist, both pieces had their good qualities, but I just feel like Opera's piece was better written, even though I could relate to Adderal's more.
    Vote - OperaToonist
    [/hide]
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  13. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2000
    Messages:
    16,814
    remember kids to vote in the tag tourney...

    ill be back to vote on this in a few...
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  14. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2001
    Messages:
    14,147
    Insane Villian is BANNED from voting on this match

    thats what your shameless plug gets you
    vote first, drop shameless plug last
    makes you look better, less flakey
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  15. Annihilation

    Annihilation CLAUS HOUSE

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2003
    Messages:
    458
    Votes:

    1-
    2-
    3-
    4-
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  16. David Lama

    David Lama oh yea?

    Joined:
    May 19, 2005
    Messages:
    2,162
    [hide]Adderall XR 30 - some real shit man, told the story of your life, which describes your RM name, and you did a good job, I felt your flow and rhyme scheme, ahd a good way with wording, pretty much did your damn thing here. I was expecting it to be a dull piece or a flexing braggadocious one, but it turned out into something meaninful that was stacked with emotions and the history of your life. good shit man, touching. not much else to say.

    Opera toonist - nice piece, the whole satan told me to do it shit has been done alot, but I like how this turned out, it looks like jack thought he was talking to god but was really talking to satan, which is cool.. the flow was nice as well as the scheme and all, and I was into it.. the shit was just done well, you used the picture nicely. and the dialogue was done pretty good, as well as the narrator's part. overall a nice verse

    overall - this was close as fuck, another battle that I hate to vote on cause I really want to give it a tie since it was that close and both did nicely, so in the end I can only judge this by which piece I was more into and ended up liking more because of that and that was adderal's piece, his realness in it, him pouring his heart into it and telling his life story left me feeling his piece more than opera's dialogue between jack the ripper and satan. so yea I'm going with addderal here and a very close battle. could go either way. props to both. hit up my battle with MrMister when ya get the chance guys. thanks

    vote - Addderal XR[/hide]
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  17. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2000
    Messages:
    16,814
    Getting tired of editing your bullshit. Votes only in matches or you will be subtracted a vote from ur own match. Read the fuckin rules

    [hide]
    oh and here is my breakdown...

    adderal- i really enjoyed this piece. it brought out the heart and soul of a man and put it on paper. it was a pretty good insight into your life, leaving out some major details making me wish i could read more about u and get into, what drugs u were taking? how did the happy pills make u feel at first? you said they really helped, how? besides the house being clean and so forth im more into the mental state of being... as in, how did u look at life differently, or do u think its because u were on the pills that u think that they really worked, or was it all in your head and having to take them made u realize that u had to change... good piece though, it made me think.

    claus- your piece was pretty good as well, however, i feel that satan isnt thzt honest if there was a satan. i would have appreciated it more if there was some trickery by the great man of darkness. howeverit was a good piece, through and through, good multis, plot turned forward as it usually would in any story and the twist was nice, finding out it was jack the ripper.... however this could have been anybody, u could have ended it with dahmer if u through in the vice to eat people and so forth... i would have liked it more if your twist was more thorough even though i did see u added the name jack bates at the beginning a cross betwen jack the ripper and that psycho guy...

    Vote adderal... sometimes the real pieces are more ammusing to me and make me think more, claus put on a good show, but i think he could've most definately put more time into and made it better where in adderal's case, he gave me a glimpse of himself and ive got to show that it is appreciated when people actually write about themselves...[/hide]
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  18. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2005
    Messages:
    2,962
    [HIDE]

    Adderall, oh, that's what adderall xr w/e is..happy pills. The narration in this was the shit. Very personal as it detailed your state pof mind and the difficulties in getting through life's struggles. The flow and word useage was nice too. Building the character asyou did seemed so smoothly, maybe because it's real in the details, but regardless that made the character more heart felt. The name behind the name piece...nicely done and with the ups and downs in your life wrapped up in a nice topical..... you have a weird flow that I kinda like as it doesn't pause on the exact flowing words prior to a line cuz it adds an extra syllable or 2 and then continues to rhyme in within the next line to the additional flow. Sounds weird when I explain it, but I see it anyway. Do da damn. Good shit

    Claus, soon as I picked this pic as a topic, I thought somebody is gonna do a jack the ripper thing with this..... lol, you did it pretty nicely though. It's actually fabeled that Jack the Ripper was a menion of Satan and escaped through the seven chambers of death aka the gates of hell... w/e tho, I don't really believe in that shit anyway. This was a nicely narrated verse with some mature wording and good flow. It started off cool, making jack a servant of God at first was weird, but it made for a good build up on the character as the conversing with God was crazy. I liked what you did with though. The evil conversations with God having an evil side so he seems like he's both God and Satan was kinda deep and dope in it's portrayal of how religion is seen.... interesting shit and good way to get it done man.


    Close shit.... I think both of you had great pieces and I really enjoyed reading them. Think came down to the narration and flow in the end and for that

    VOte Adderrall

    [/HIDE]
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  19. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    13,681
    [hide]

    Opera...yea so I remember this piece from back when you used it against me in the champ match...it's well written and the dialogue between Jack and the Devil was very natural and this went well with the picture, went better with the old picture though...honestly I can't in good concious say that it was overly creative, because i've read this exact story before...lol...but yea...on a side note it's hysterical how you bust my balls bout not being in the league enough to recycle and then 2 weeks later you recycle when you've been in the league for less time than me...kudos...

    Add...hmm...so the piece read smoothly, i'll grant you that, and although it was real for you...it wasn't as appealing to me as I felt the glimpse into the character was to brief for me to really relate and appreciate the character...

    with that in mind I have to give my vote to Anni...the mechanics of the piece were better and it was more "creative"...whatever that means anymore these days...

    [/hide]
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  20. MrMister

    MrMister Urizen

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2003
    Messages:
    6,238
    [HIDE]vote - adderal

    adderal - nice piece I liked it
    I enjoyed how you sorta like gave me your lifestory
    and how you can see what went wrong and what could have been
    if ya mum raised you in a different fashion
    but what kinda pills did you do????
    but for the story itself how you told
    like half just telling and the other half poetic story telling
    shit was nice so all in all I enjoyed this piece but to my opinion
    you didnt tell me what your user name means just
    that you have sum issues

    opera - ok anni WTF is your problem
    I know for DAMN sure that this piece is a old verse of yours which
    you used BACK in the day in a old champ match ...
    now dont get me wrong recyling in my eyes is ok cus sometimes
    you just dont have the time to write ... BUT damn that you damn near
    had a heart attack when GL did this to you and now your doing it like its ok
    I mean the pics fits the story perfectly but nah Im sorry
    this story was sick back then it still is now
    flow on point twist was nice rhyme scheme nice just a dope
    story with a dope twist and dope writing but nah

    so if anni used this piece here for the first time he would have won this
    but since he recyled when he is SO against it ... I cant give you this
    but to be honest adderal did give a nice piece and would have
    not have my vote by a REAL small % of anni having a nicer story
    but the old piece factor fucks it all up for me

    so there you go ADDERAL gets my vote[/HIDE]
    test
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