Contenders: 4. Macmilimeterrhyms (2-0) vs. 3. SD-11 (6-3)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by TaLi RodrigueZ, Dec 5, 2006.

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  1. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Apr 5, 2002



    The Standard League Rules will still be Enforced

    Due Dates

    VERSES DUE: Saturday 12:00am PST/3:00am EST
    Verses posted after the deadline will not count!

    VOTES DUE Monday: 12:00am PACIFIC/3:00 Midnight EST
    Votes posted after the deadline will not count!

    • Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.
    • Verses must incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.
    • Anyone who does not post at least 4 rap lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.
    • During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.
    • Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a “show” but will not result in a match. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent posts between 16-64, you will lose the match but you will remain in the league. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent does not show, you will “Win by no-show”.

    • If you do not show you can’t vote in any matches. .
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      anyone who does not show or vote is suspended one week and must sign-in again to be inserted the following week.

  2. SD-11

    SD-11 The Iron Curtain

    Oct 3, 2006
  3. macmilimeterhyms

    macmilimeterhyms Product of the 80s

    Aug 14, 2002
    try to keep it in the 32-44 range unless you need more

    bring your A-game
  4. SD-11

    SD-11 The Iron Curtain

    Oct 3, 2006

    Topic: Special Relationship

    We met at a younge age, dishonesty was on to me
    With her in my presence, i knew i wouldnt live karma free
    She took grasp of my life and adapted so nice
    She was half of the price so i passed up advise
    Of living differently cause this vision wouldnt be
    The best decision for me, but that was the mission for she
    Always kissing me and bringing me gifts
    singing, her lips made me feel like a king in his bliss
    She altered my mindstate and could have put me behind gates
    But my blind trait had me confined in her estate
    Combined we were great, almost unstoppable
    We called it love, some thought it was alot of bull
    I knew she was slutty and flirts with others
    she murked my brother and even hurt my mother
    She gets me what i want, when i want it
    just tells me how to get it and im on it
    Whenever im in trouble she's right there
    Got me thinkin that she actually might care
    Im free in the dark, but used to be trapped in the light
    im wrapped in her might, but act like its right
    She rocks the globe, had some people lock and load
    The people on the right path, she block their road
    She's very addictive, the scariest mistress
    Ruined some peoples marriest christmas
    Had people buried in ditches,some married to riches
    goes good to evil, her style varies and switches
    She's not a mystery, she's been in the history books
    She was in the bible, the quaran, just check the history look
    Some call her a liar, but i admire her
    Cause every time i speak, she inspires my words
    She got mad when i had an affair with the "real thing"
    But i couldnt stay away from her, she would reel me in
    She has alot of nicknames like deceiving and deception
    Gets beneath the flesh and releives all the tension
    Speaks with expression, talks with aggresion
    Wants everybody so she stalks with obsession
    She is visible thru my speech
    with just a little bull she would teach
    She taught me a new way of life
    Wasnt there when i would pray at night
    gave me a new array of light
    and told me to betray with spite
    I think ive had enuff, but i knew she would never leave me
    After everything achieved we broke up, but nobody beleived me
    She doesnt call or visit, thts good, cause thts all im finished
    i ended it, she deminished but might be back cause she's vicious
    its a new life as i stand in church, confess my sins
    But i can see her in jesus's eye's, he possess's a grin
    I guess all of life was never a success or a win
    But instead the devils finesse as he blesses his twin​
    ..My special Relationship with "Lying"..

    ..go back and read it over now tht u know wht im talking bout, it will make alot more sense..

  5. macmilimeterhyms

    macmilimeterhyms Product of the 80s

    Aug 14, 2002
    Searching for Fun

    1 year later...
    Where to begin? Let's see~ I'm rail-thin (not like a train track)
    More like a dope-fiend that smokes Ammonia-based crack
    Dudes know my moms on welfare & they know that I'm a goof
    If I didn't come up with some doe theyd've thrown me off the roof!
    It's a hood-life trap, I could fight back & cop a semi'
    But every scale I step on says that I'm too skinny
    Kids joke about how I'm smoked out I wanna flank 'em stealth
    "You so skinny if you fell thru ya drawers you'd hang yaself"
    You laugh but it's bad for my health and worse yet~
    I robbed mad girls & haven't found cash in a purse yet
    First step to recovery is quitting, you gotta be shitting me
    I'm the epitome of crack users, my limit is infinity
    If you see me in person you'll know my block is HOT
    Probably tell me I'm shot, don't worry I get that a lot
    Can I get a dollar? I gotta catch a cab
    No money? what's that in your pocket? motherfucker gimme the bag!

    1 year later...
    Dear Momma,
    I'm here for some felonies, Judge was tellin' me I'm a mess
    Robbery, Larceny, and Resisting Arrest
    Tried to snatch a handbag~ in a troubled state
    But I'm ok, feeling glad to be here, nearly doubled my weight
    I'm done with that crack shit and I'm thru with the dope
    For the first time since I was 9 I look at the future with hope
    I got a job in the kitchen, in population living well
    Got work release, on the verge of being freed I can tell
    Even learned how to spell, wow I really miss you
    Sorry for borrowing so much money, I never meant to diss you
    I'll pay it back in due time, once I do mine
    It'll alllll be a bad memory, we'll be together on the grind

    1 year later...
    I'm free on Parole, drug-free ~on my soul
    Been weeks since my release now I'm on the streets rockin' gold
    Don't believe me? please I control fiends like a pro
    I easily know where to pipe-down & squeeze needles of dope
    Where to get it in, where I'll want it again~
    Dumb high hoping some guy will come by and supply my medicine
    My connect is direct raw so I'm enhancing the retreat
    Never planned this but I got fiends dancing in the street
    Had to pop this kid who didn't think I'd bring the drama
    I got my old crack buddies who collect checks livin' wit my mama
    I can call for back-up in a jam
    Cousins who respect me because "jail is the first step to becoming a man"
    Now that I'm established cash is dropped on consumption
    Smoking crack is my past, I restored my cognitive function
    I'm poppin' Molly, she's a hot tomale
    I stole my neighbor's Pitbull and copped a Collie
    Got my game tight, head's know my doe is stacked
    I'm so Gangster, I can act sober smokin' crack!
    Don't believe me? look.. a little pebble won't hurt, son
    hsssssssss, to be continued... in verse one
  6. macmilimeterhyms

    macmilimeterhyms Product of the 80s

    Aug 14, 2002
  7. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

    Feb 26, 2005
    thanks for showing... don't forget to vote
  8. DeadKing

    DeadKing The Perfect Method

    Oct 20, 1999

    nice topic choice, i did the same. very dope verse, kept reading like, quran and bible, who is this bitch. i was like "man, if he says god, i'm gonna lose respect", lol, glad you didnt. very solid verse, flow was top notch, nice vocab, didnt like you used bull a full times, would of prefered if you didnt use it all, dont like the term really. good drop though.


    damn another good verse. your rhyme was more simple that sd, and structure just a tad, a tad below his, that's all that hurt you on this really. your story was pretty dope and i loved how you ended it, on some revolving cycle shit, lol. this is like hte battle of the week IMO... as for the vote, i will have to say SD, you both peaked my interest and had creative verses with dope endings, his was just put together a little better from a writers perspective, sorry both of you cant win

    great match

    vote - SD-11[/hide]
  9. Vigil

    Vigil Im infinite consciousness

    Aug 16, 2005
    [hide]sd - The idea/metaphor wasn't new, but still I you had a pretty creative verse. The flow was good, and the rhyming was consitent throughout. I liked the description you used, and overall, not a bad verse.

    mac - I liked the story in your verse better but your rhyming doesn't hold up to sd's rhyming. Some of the rhymes just didn't fit, but it did read like you were just writing off the top and weren't rewriting anything, and I tend to like that. The ending was pretty clever, but I think in verse you should've made a reference to some of things you did in verse three, you know what I mean?

    This battle is really close, I liked the rhyming and writing in sd's verse and the story in mac's verse.

    I'ma go with mac, just because I enjoyed his verse more.

    vote - mac[/hide]
  10. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Jul 13, 1999
    Contenders: 4. Macmilimeterrhyms (2-0) vs. 3. SD-11 (6-3)

    SD-11, dope concept... I liked the way you described the events... You could have done without the ending sentence about reading it again because it's not that hard to figure out... with all the key words and clues. Macmili, another cool concept, love the cycle it portrays... says some truth about the "correctional" systems they have in place on this planet.
    Both had fairly decent rhyming, alot of multies that kind of threw off syllable counts and made for choppy flow, but some cool rhyming that I thought showed both your potentials. SD-11 stayed more consistent flow wise, I thought you stayed clear without being completely direct. I like how it became more clear toward the end as the piece went from more relationship based between people, then into the more abstract concept with your relationship with lying. SD's rhyming was more on point here, enjoyed that aspect of it. Macmili, I thought in stretches your verse was looking real strong, and in some places you kind of fell off with flow... you both seem to be around the same level of writing ability judging from these two verses.... both concepts had a fair amount of originality, the edge though I have to give to Macmilimeter: overall a better written verse with a much cooler ending... This battle could go either way though, like I said though, Mac's ending and overall concept, I enjoyed a little more.

    Good battle; good luck to you both.
  11. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Aug 3, 2005

    I liked the verse a lot man...what I don't get is sometimes you really shine with the flow and scheme and other bars just kind of fade away...regardless I loved what you did with the topic here and it really hit home. Very clever here fam.


    That's that real talk right there fam...loved how you ended the verse, first off...second off I really liked the genuine street vibe and appeal that I got from this verse. I know it's real in Nu Jeru...i'm over off exit 9...anyway, the only thing I'd work on fam is getting your flow and scheme crisper and possibly hitting some fresher topics.

    I have to give this one to SD-11 for being a little more creative in his approach although this was a close battle.
  12. ConstantFlows

    ConstantFlows New Member

    Nov 10, 2001
    Not what I expected in terms of approaches from either

    Sd 11 -- I must say I thought u were talking about a drug in some parts but other than that (moreso when I reread) it was pretty much all bared from the beginning. There are some wording issues I have w/ur verse, unecessary phrasing....also there is a moment around the middle where ur rhyming is focused, effective and smooth as hell yet there are other parts all around your verse where it is kind of sloppy and forces the rhythm of my read to falter, or worse yet to stop so I can decode what the line meant. The take on the topic was pretty cool however its presentation didn't draw me in like I'd expect

    Mac- Its so rare that I bust up to any lines in a verse nowadays that I've found myself listenin to freestyle battles and reading battle league verses, whatever for a joke in rhyme form that I truly appreciate the aim of this verse. It gave me the same vibe I get from del's 'superfiend' except (in no offense) he did it better. The ending was predictable but worded dare I say, perfectly? I guess its not the concept anymore but how its presented. The second verse was the weakest link imo, first being the strongest....however narration and rhyming/diction were very clean, the third verse was kind of bland in execution however ur wordplay was consistent

    Overall vote - mac

    It was his execution and consistency
  13. Resolute God

    Resolute God Kingdom Come, You Ready?

    Nov 8, 2006
    SD I thought dropped a wholoe LOT better than Ive seen from him. The flow was a lot better, and he finally got rid of those /// from the ends of his bars! Haha .. Flow was sick on thios one, the bars were shorter and toghter, definately felt that. I liked the twist to be fair, though- I have seen similar done before. Maybe too times that Id like, but you executed it really well in my opinion. Again with you, you start off so well, seem to drift awkwardly towards the body of the verse, and then pick it up towards the end. That inconsistency hurts you a little, but STILL cant take from what ois essentially a pretty damn well written piece. Definately one of the under-sold members of the league, who deserves a lot more respect than he's given. Cool shit bruh.

    Macky - You seem to have an old school feel to your wriuting, which is a gift and curse in soi many ways! On the one hand, your flow switches and makes the read choppy in some areas. But what you also pull off well is a writers voice that a lot can relate to, and I cant help but love that quality. Again, a strongly written verse, and I also thought the twist you added here is what brought it to a colsure for me. SD was nice, but it had just been done one too many times before. Or similarly at least. That gave you the edge against him here, tight match though.

    I have Macky taking this by a nut hair!
  14. Annihilation

    Annihilation CLAUS HOUSE

    Mar 17, 2003
    i love mac n' cheese
  15. .:Pain:.

    .:Pain:. Futurely J. Keeper

    Dec 4, 2005
    Damn, I didn't even see this match, I don't care if my vote counts I just want to advance.

    Mac- Flow was definately the deciding factor in this match, and you had it. That really kept me drawn into your story. It felt very natural, more conversational tone than anything it seemed to me, and that really made this verse very easy to get into.

    SD-11 - I wasn't really feelin' your flow, and that made it a tedious read ( to me anyways). I was feelin' the concept and how you used to topic, it's just you need to develop your mechanics as well as your writing voice to get to the victory lane.

    Vote - Mac...
  16. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

    Feb 26, 2005
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