completely random

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by miscreant, Oct 31, 2010.

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  1. miscreant

    miscreant 1996 was the shit

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    I started rappin this over starin thru my rearview when drivin in the car, well the first 6 bars anyway, so I wrote it down when I got home than it went off on some random shit a little later...


    reppin the brown & white cause im a thug 4 life
    screamin westside when the whole wolf pack ride
    muthafuckas get to runnin when we barin our teeth
    acknowledge heirarchy we got command in the streets
    since the nineties i been a young soldier
    my problems gettin younger as the word becomes older,
    over and over i see the same mistakes being made
    kids are gettin knocked for not makin the grade
    fuck you gotta learn young son you better learn it quick
    cause it hurts like hell when you feel the burner hit
    let me tell ya this, like blessed angels watchin over
    miracles are seen fewer than alcoholics sober
    witness jehova muthafuckas crazier than me
    and fake rap stars gettin made on MTV
    gone are the days of lyrical gen-i-us
    and conent so vivid and passionate its tedious
    lil wayne ain't feelin it droppin shit for kids
    muthafucka u serious? i thought eddie murphy
    was delirious but you take it raw kid
    i'd tell him to think but the pain that thought did
    might kill the poor dick and leave him trapped in a coffin
    wait up shit i've gone off track just a little bit
    really i never meant to mention the fucken idiot
    but pac would spit in fits if he were here
    and big l would rip the kid a new
    christopher wallace size derriere,
    i gotta stop talkin or writin
    only a few at a time can be enlightened
    the rest get left behind quick as light'nin
    im out till the next episode
    but im sure you'll be alright kids
    1
    test
  2. Radical Sun

    Radical Sun New Member

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    You def. got random there - doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

    test
  3. twenty_ROCK

    twenty_ROCK Crack Illz

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    test
  4. stick stickly

    stick stickly New Member

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    you should keep going with that whole idea

    i like the randomness, those verses are the most fun to write i think
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  5. twenty_ROCK

    twenty_ROCK Crack Illz

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    yeah pretty random....
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  6. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

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    This was ok. I'd say the random-ness was pretty well served. however, I would suggest working on the rhyme scheme a little just to help things flow smoother. As well, I'd try rhyming a few more syllables. Just so it doesn't sound so basic, you feel me?

    keep it up though. check out my latest.


    peace.
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  7. miscreant

    miscreant 1996 was the shit

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    RS, yeh it was pretty much just keystyled, well the first few bars I remember just spittin repeatedly while cruisin in the car, typed that up when I got home than just free'd some random shit

    Stick, yeh it's ok sometimes, generally I'll start something wit a topic I wanna stay on. But this here was just random shit. The bars you highlighted would be a decent enough theme to stick wit

    20, yeh, no shit, as the title states.

    NG, thanks for the fb. Randomness is ok when freestylin. Writtens should really stay on some sorta topic. Though tbh this was pretty much free. I don't really follow any rhyme scheme, I mean most my rhymes are all different, I don't really stick to a particular scheme. I used to years ago but now I just try chase the beat. I feel what your sayin about rhymin more syllables/more multis, some my other drops do just that, but in general terms, I'm happy rhymin one syllable if it means better content and nothin forced. Nas and Jay z are prime examples of this, same as Pac
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  8. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

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    sure I totally agree, with the discretion of using more syllables. sometimes it works great, other times, not so much.

    I was merely stating this piece could have used that style. but most certainly not a requirement. decent post.
    test
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