coloring within the lines

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Nebulaz, May 28, 2003.

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  1. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2001
    Messages:
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    What shade am I?
    when i wake up and feel lonesome
    when i experience the clocks wrath but havent grown some
    I hope none fertilize the evil eggs I've tasted
    Lay wasted, buried in troubling places
    beneath my own faces, masked of self expression
    but they never expressed my true self
    I would show many emotions but were hardly the ones i felt
    On one knee, i stay knelt
    Father, forgive me...
    for blasphemies, havoc raised, sacrafices and tragedies
    relied on earthly belongings and idols rather than your majesty
    I pray passionately, my hearts doors use to revolve rapidly
    admitting only the swiftest answers despite whats happening
    Your sweetness is billowing in my hearts cavity
    What shade am I?
    when i can live lavishly
    develop no repore towards others when they focus savagely
    on other deeming them nastily, it just comes naturally
    I became a man before I gave up my chastidy
    before I was born i overwhelmed my mother's capacity
    and actually my shade transitions...
    rotates to a new color then blurs anti-aliasing,
    the details, sharpe, crisp, and pure
    one things for sure, my tone turns
    dissolves with the surprises and changes
    once again with the moon's collapse
    I'll lead the pack on the ridge path with no map
    No time to adapt
    So I'll tell you what shade I am...
    While others are chameleon, rotating their existance
    being persistant on favoring omnious behaviors
    pressured to steer passed their beliefs by peers who feed
    on others making them mirrors to their keys
    locking their brains preventing an open mind
    I'm pen's grip is keeping me to my promise -
    i' m devoted to rhyme
    Poetry is filled with quotable lines
    My shadow changes with times
    When blues the hue, I alter my mood
    Advanced the staging and falter is few
    You're style is available now selling by the quarters
    My third beyond that is preordered
    test
  2. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
    Messages:
    869
    I was reading through this three times, because I felt the meaning and completely thought this was from the soul. This is Poetry at it's finest, that's how much I enjoyed it. Just something about it appealed to me, it's probably the delivery of ideas and creativity that you used. How you colored yourself in as an individual, basically. Just all these meanings rotating above my head, spinning. I was loving this piece and I haven't really ever said "Poetry at it's finest", because I never would mean it. This was one that I could flip back to and read over again, hit me. My blessings.

    *return the favor by dropping some knowledge on my piece.

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthrea...&postid=6315599
    test
  3. Lyrical B^tch

    Lyrical B^tch New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2000
    Messages:
    2,120
    This was really nice...and flowed very well...Imagery was on point..this was just nice in all aspects..Its hard to describe the
    feeling you catch after u read it...this was definently ill work..

    fav lines...

    develop no repore towards others when they focus savagely
    on other deeming them nastily, it just comes naturally
    I became a man before I gave up my chastidy
    before I was born i overwhelmed my mother's capacity

    Damn!!..just too damn good...*applauds*..keep writin..stay up..and ill be waitin to peep your next one..oNe
    test
  4. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    wooo......... talk about being slept on

    i was taken back by this piece

    I hope none fertilize the evil eggs I've tasted
    Lay wasted, buried in troubling places

    damn....i dont really know what to say....

    be back in here latter!
    test
  5. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    Great imagery.

    "My shadow changes with times
    When blues the hue, I alter my mood
    Advanced the staging and falter is few
    You're style is available now selling by the quarters
    My third beyond that is preordered"

    those were my favorite lines right there. I read them over and over lol. Good shit nebz

    one luv
    test
  6. mocha_licious

    mocha_licious New Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2003
    Messages:
    2,740
    it seems as if u your talking about your true self(soul) and relating to god at the same time and then referring to the present (on earth) and what is....

    you are so talented and i love your pieces always...

    i read this twice....and felt so touched by the words displayed...

    i dunno what to say but keep writing cause i want to read...


    ~always love from this way~
    test
  7. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Messages:
    1,734
    I liked this because even though it had a steady rhyme pattern, it's sole purpose wasn't to impress with witty rhymes and such, and that tends to take away from a lot of people's joints...because they're so tuned into what they think would sound good they miss the point they're trying to send across.
    test
  8. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
    Messages:
    11,131
    i'm loving the imagery in this piece... it was beautifully written and i'm uppin this for more people to see!
    test
  9. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2001
    Messages:
    950
    Thx for the massive love you guys. sorry it took so long for the appreciation of it, but i sent this out then went on vacation.
    test
  10. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2001
    Messages:
    950
    test
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