Ching Shih

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by AliceHouse, Apr 16, 2013.

  1. AliceHouse

    AliceHouse The House Always Wins

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    This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.

    She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean. If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean. Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death.

    Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at. Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.

    Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.

    Ching Shih said fuck that.

    She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.

    For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.

    tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.
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  2. GaLaTeA

    GaLaTeA GymArt

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    ^There's still time to be a badass tho..
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  3. antilluminati

    antilluminati Well-Known Member

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  4. IAmBenT

    IAmBenT Eat a dick, faggot

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    They should put this woman on her own bottle of Rum. Fuck a Captain Morgan.
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  5. doslavozes

    doslavozes Neg This Post If You're Gay

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    I wonder what her periods were like.
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  6. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    it was so much easier to commit crimes and be a badass back then i think.

    shit you kill your neighbor, bury him and then say you havent seen him for weeks, im just sayin that the response from law enforcement would have been long awaited on any type of crime. Forming a gang of bandits and surprising people for their wallets and treasure seems like it would have been the thing to do, its not like there was jobs for everyone. You just lived and hoped you made the next week.
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  7. doslavozes

    doslavozes Neg This Post If You're Gay

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    I agree with this. I could only imagine what kind of Christopher Dorner Grand Theft Auto rampages you could go on back then. Just think of Bonnie and Clyde as well as Jesse James and a lot of the mafias. Now if you kind of kill one person who kind of had it coming, the feds are all over you. I mean Dorner was an ex-cop and military man with extensive training and due to technology he only killed a few people.

    I also think that cops were a lot easier to intimidate/bribe back then too.
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