"Chasing After"

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by redwood, Jun 11, 2007.

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  1. redwood

    redwood New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2001
    Messages:
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    "You've been gone two weeks but it feels like months have passed..
    Minutes seem like hours and days as weeks since i saw you last..
    Every morning I awake laying in bed longer then the day before..
    Thinking about you and wondering if one day these days will last no more..
    And I'll roll over and find myself in a place like no place id rather be..
    With you bundled tight laying asleep with your head rested on me..
    Because when I'm with you nothing else is worth a care..
    I don't have to worry because no matter what you'll be right there..
    To help and to hold me through all the worlds fire and pain..
    And bring out an umbrella when I'm stuck in the rain..
    Baby you bring out the best in me in every way shape and form..
    Now please come back because alone I cant weather the storm..
    Like a fool I let u go when I should have been chasing after..
    You, and us, the moments we shared filled with fun and laughter..
    When were together its so right almost like it was suppose to take place..
    Like a predetermined friendship, love, a predetermined fate..
    My feelings for you are as blatant as I write them in this poem..
    I still have all these feelings and I just wanted you to know'em.."
    test
  2. ~Eloquent

    ~Eloquent Narcissistic....

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2003
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    hmm u know i feel kind of weak when i feel like i cant get thru life with otu someone here with me
    but then i read on here and realize lots of others are scared to try anything alone also
    so i just end up reminiscing about how i didnt feel alone
    and im just to comfortable lyin in bed all day convincing myself that no women can understand what i feel and join together with me

    and then i hear that fear being so alone is just a weakness
    to just man up and move on all alone
    than the time tryin to do that overlaps every bit of hope i would have it seems
    so i become a victim of my extreme pessimistic nature...

    thanks yall i think i might be able to write again now....
    test
  3. SAMARA

    SAMARA truth is a sword

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2002
    Messages:
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    i think you should have finished the last line with a full english word then to have slanged the end to rhyme, it could have worked and gave the writing a better feel.
    expect a little more from your writing "insolence is god", step up.
    test
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