CHAMPIONSHIP: 1. Baron Mynd 34-5 (2 Defenses) vs. 2. MC4Sight 26-8

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Baron Mynd, Jan 10, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Baron Mynd

    Baron Mynd Swaggersaurus Rex

    Jul 16, 2003



    The Standard League Rules will still be Enforced

    Due Dates

    VERSES DUE: Sunday12:00am PST/3:00am EST (this means Sunday, early early, start of the morning)
    Verses posted after the deadline will not count!

    • Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.
    • Verses must incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.
    • Anyone who does not post at least 4 rap lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.
    • During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.
    • Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a “show” but will not result in a match. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent posts between 16-64, you will lose the match but you will remain in the league. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent does not show, you will “Win by no-show”.

    • If you do not show you can’t vote in any matches. .
    • Votes must be hidden! To hide a vote, first thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. The last thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, a backslash “/”, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. Unhidden votes will not count towards the match or towards your vote requirements.
    • No second chance votes! If your vote has been edited, even it was only to hide it, your vote will not count towards the match or towards your vote requirements.
    • No bias votes! If you have a personal investment in wanting someone to lose, whether because that member voted against you once, or you just don’t like that person, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match. If have a personal investment in wanting someone to win, whether because they’re crew member, or because you want to face that person in the next week’s brackets, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match.
    • ”Bias” must be confirmed by a Moderator.
    • If there is a match which you will not be able to vote on, due to “Bias” of any type, state so within your match prior to Verses Due Deadline. If this reduces the number of matches available for you to vote on to the point where you are unable to vote on at least 4 matches, the point scale will be adjusted according to how many matches you do vote on.
    • 3-ways are inevitable. In order to provide a tie-breaker in a 3-way, you are now required to indicate in what order the contestants finished (1st, 2nd, 3rd).
      anyone who does not show or vote is suspended one week and must sign-in again to be inserted the following week.

    Topics are HERE:
  2. MC4SiGHT


    Apr 25, 2003
    checkity check check good luck man
  3. Baron Mynd

    Baron Mynd Swaggersaurus Rex

    Jul 16, 2003
  4. Baron Mynd

    Baron Mynd Swaggersaurus Rex

    Jul 16, 2003
    “Deflowered Rose”


    Under the guise of darkness, lies a heartless, guy who hides the carcass ..
    .. of a seven-year-old school girl back in his high rised apartment.
    She’d tried her hardest,
    To escape the ropes he’d tied her arms with ..
    .. before the tyrant started to divide her garments,
    And molest the child regardless.
    The violence started, once she’d rejected his evil suggestion ..
    .. he beat her ‘til her cries for help, were little more than silent yelps.
    The pungent stench of his stale breath, clung to her pale flesh ..
    .. and she balled her fists at each sordid kiss,
    Placed upon her by his morbid lips.
    A single finger prised open the pink insides of this shrinking violet ..
    .. and as his assertive hand plundered her cervic glands -
    He barely blinked an eyelid.
    Rose couldn’t bring herself to meet the glare of this demon,
    So, tearfully, she stared at the ceiling - Feeling her innocence tearing and bleeding.
    Her tormentor had climbed, the lengths of her thighs and ventured inside ..
    .. Clenching the sides of her face -
    To reveal the dark intent in his eyes.
    Tensions were high, as the monster snarled through pristine dentures of white ..
    .. And spat in the young girl’s face,
    Where a mass of fear and resentment preside.
    The animal lengthens his strides, as beads of sweat secrete from his pores ..
    .. The heathen ignores her pleas for remorse -
    His sickening lust still eager for more.
    With arms that are strong and sculpted, and veins that feed him copious strength ..
    .. he gropes for her neck, holds her over the bed, and chokes her to death.
    Poor Rose had tried her hardest, to escape this violent hardship ..
    .. Now her lifeless carcass, sits on a dirty mattress back in his high rised apartment.
    And under the guise of darkness, lies a heartless guy who’s prides departed ..
    .. His lone physique roams the streets,
    While looking to find his targets…

    TOPICS: She sits on the edge of the bed

    “As men, we are all equal in the presence of death.”
    Publilius Syrus

    ”Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.”
    Lily Tomlin
  5. MC4SiGHT


    Apr 25, 2003
    The Denison Chronicles

    There goes Mister James Denison.
    …embracing featherless compassion, never medicine…
    none’s needed, for the direction he’s headed in…
    …he’s hesitant, but if you’ve known him long enough…
    you know he’s tough, one rough son of a…
    …bitch, who gave a fuck, if you give a fuck who he is…
    but here he is….

    James Denison…
    …young boy undiscovered, covered & masked in indecency…
    basking recently, in the self conversations he has so frequently…
    ..tune in the frequencies, seize his radio brains, that boy’s insane…
    keep him contained…
    …he remains in his room hallucinating cartoons, drawing em too…
    lover of blues, with the blacks in em too, his art awkwardly construed…
    …offset & off balance, a boy of all talents, that’ll visually grab at…
    your eyes, and stab at your mind with designs devised of war cries…
    …as he tries, to recapture the rapture of warfare with warm dye’s…
    and if you listen close enough you can hear his breath swarm sighs …
    …as form binds with brush, connecting paints as pains to touch…
    rubbing the canvas, dreaming of havoc, James loves anything tragic…
    …he’s gallant, snatching aspirations to chase squeamish actions,
    It’s his passion, to see the reaction of men prior to being ravaged…
    …emotions clashing, rapid sadness enveloped upon physical damage…
    He can’t wait till it happens, the day his paintings become real…
    …he’ll steal away the innocent, he’ll capture, he’ll feel…

    And so he paints, he ponders, and of coarse he dreams…
    He waits, he wanders, and forces screams…
    Through portrait screens, held behind his frames of sighs…
    Awaiting the day when he can truly display his designs…

    …years passed, and naturally his age became greater, came closer…
    to the age of an American soldier, daring & bolder,
    …with broader shoulders, abs of boulders, brawny and burly…
    somewhere between all the works of art, James had peaked early…
    …surely, what an advantage, to a young man ready to paint…
    masterpieces in a whole new way, he dreamt of etching fates…
    made a date with providence,
    can’t wait to stare it face to face, placed upon fields of mortality…
    …his fallacies are fair-weather, so he doesn’t expect dependence…
    in reality, he wrenches tensions, fending off defensive vengeance…
    …but revenge is only as sweet as the reason, so he creates some…
    he hates them, because he still hasn’t been able to paint them…
    …faint drums, the snares chase guns, as parades come…

    And soon it was time, it was now, it was finally here…
    He’d waited, he’d dreamt, to embrace their fears…
    Blew out his candles, ran off as prompt enroller…
    He’ll fall in love with his paintbrush soon as he holds her…

    Private Denison …
    …young man undiscovered, hungered & impatient for dessert …
    hurting eagerly, in the self illusions of inhumane masterful works…
    …he’s the quirks of a loony ,batty, or screwy, with a tad bit of jerk…
    he’s mad with a clad ironed shirt, ready to burst his finest feature…
    …such a mendacious creature, his true caliber deep & discreet …
    and he loathed boot camp, felt it revamped his wait to complete…
    …his masterpiece,
    but he’ll paint soon enough, rifle in hand, his aerosol to spray…
    …and when they die, he knows they’ll all die the same way…
    because they’re all just a stroke of his brush, & his art’s to blame…
    …his brigade finished camp, it was perfect timing.
    The Vietnam War, their first assignment…

    And he’ll create, he’ll paint, and of coarse he’ll kill…
    He’ll glamorize guts & gore, fulfilling thrills..
    Through his paintbrush, he’ll sketch all upon his range…
    Unaware of how quickly his frames would change…

    To be continued.

    No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
    -George Burns

    As men, we are all equal in the presence of death.
    Publilius Syrus
  6. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

    May 3, 1999

    did you guys ghostwrite for each other? -- I'll tell you right now... this look slike two exact writings.... doesnt it? --- looks like two word-to-word rhymin... multi syllables...

    BARON ... the thing i love about your rhymin' is that your intricate specific moment-to-moment narrations ... idont think theres anyone that masters that more than u... i dont know.. maybe im being too patronizing.. but .... that was the one sole element in ur rhyme that made me enjoy your piece....

    seeing that this is so similar from both of u... i had to judge by mechanics....

    4SIGHT... hands down - you wrote the verse of your life... this is the #1 reason why i sought u out when u first came to this site.... i knew it.. and this is by far the very reason why i knew u was sick... u were serious... u were ferocious.. ur passion shows... ur narration.. and ur rhyme patternizing was beautiful... ur word choice was spectack....

    a worthy title match to read.... enjoyed every line of each of u... but my favor has to goto 4SIGHT....

    just by reading it u can see... he was showing so much more in his mechanics.. 4SIGHT wow'ed me this week...

  7. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Aug 3, 2005
    Baron - this verse was written extremely well, but it felt felt as though the story was just beginning and you were about to bring in more character development and such, but instead it just ended there. Due to that I'm left having read a very well written piece that had superb rhyming and scheme but doesn't offer much as far as emotion goes. The imagery was on point, but none of the characters were really developed and expanded upon to make this feel like a complete verse. Kind of disappointed with this as I'm not sure that'll be enough to take down 4Sight...

    Speaking of 4Sight - wow...that's my immediate reaction after having read your piece...this was some of the best writing I've seen in a long time. The rhyming was superb, but it didn't take away from your piece for a second. The imagery was amazing, everything sounded so poetic and just rolled off the tongue naturally and you tied in all your metaphors flawlessly. Beyond that you really brought James to life in your verse and there's really nothing I didn't like about this verse. except it should be of course he'll kill not of coarse he'll kill... lol...

    vote = 4Sight

    He was on a different level this week and really blew me away with his verse.
  8. MC4SiGHT


    Apr 25, 2003
  9. Baron Mynd

    Baron Mynd Swaggersaurus Rex

    Jul 16, 2003
    Woah at 570+ views, thats CRAZY!Upping for votes! :^)
  10. Saga Genesis

    Saga Genesis New Member

    Dec 27, 2006

    Baron: Oh man, this shit was good. I see why you're the Champ. Imagery was on point. Fucking sickening in fact. Just imagining that shit playing out in my head. I just ate and I want to throw up. That's how good the imagery was. Even pisses me off to a point where I'm thinking, "This motherfucker . . ." (as in the character), but then I quickly remember this is simply fictional writing and not a true story. :) This shit flowed effortlessly. I love it when people have mastered their rhyming to where the piece flows like water. It just makes it that much more enjoyable to read, EASIER to read, and shows you're damn good at writing. Nice take on the topic, also. I wouldn't have thought of this myself. Most people wouldn't.

    Wow, another amazing piece. You definitely deserved a shot at the title this week, that's for sure. And you damn sure didn't give Baron an easy fight. Your metaphors throughout this piece were amazing. I liked them a lot. Again, another effortless flow that helped me enjoy this piece a thousand times more. The entire concept behind this is amazing. If what I'm interpreting is correct, it's on some Death Note shit, and Death Note is fucking good. Can't wait to read more of the Denison Chronicles.

    In comparison, Baron took the imagery category for sure. I envisioned everything that transpired throughout his piece, whilst 4Sight's was a little bit harder to play out in my mind. But that's because 4Sight killed it with metaphors the entire time and that was definitely some good shit. I think 4Sight's piece completely overwhelmed Baron -- not in size -- but by an overall more enjoyable story. With Baron taking imagery and 4Sight taking metaphors, everything else is simply tied. Got to go with what I enjoyed most of all . . .


  11. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

    Feb 26, 2005
    aahh, nm

    wanna see how this goes without my opinion.

    damn... over 600 views... mothafuckas have read this more than the rules and shit. that's a shame
  12. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Jul 13, 1999
    [hide]Alright, before I start my feed, just want to say that Mynd is my favorite write in the league right now... and 4Sight is quickly becoming another of my very favorites, so this vote is which piece I absolutely enjoyed more, not mechanics, not anything else, because both writers have incredible talent and I have a lot of respect for the stuff they've done in this league.

    Mynd: Jesus...fucking...Christ. First off, I just want to say, you describe events in your stories so perfectly that reading it isn't a chore AT ALL like some of the stuff in the league... your words are perfectly chosen, almost prose like, except for the fact that the rhyming is dope as well. Again, your vocabulary is limitless it seems, and ambiguous, as you have the creative capacity to describe specific, VIVID events in rhyme form so precisely. I have a feeling people are going to get on your piece this week for being short, however... I think I understand your intentions of making this particular one short. For one, the images were so rapid fire, the event of the rape/murder, so vivid, which actually creates an illusion of sorts, making the piece seem so much longer. While reading, although really fast, the events played themselves out in my head in real slow detail, which says something incredible about your way with words. The other reason is for this specific piece... a rapists intentions to get his rocks off, kill and move on, I assume is a very RAPID chain of events... and this piece describes one instance, no filler, just exactly what happened, both characters actions/reactions and everything in between.... so dope this week man. One of your best.

    4Sight: Alright, well.. this is one of the best pieces I've read in the league... by far actually in my opinion. I'll start with saying that while your rhyming schemes weren't as complex, or as continuous as Mynd's, your verse read so smoothly, that the rhyming just became a part of the piece, not a separate entity, which for me is hard to accomplish, because when reading rhyming work, I criticize the rhyming so much because it's such an important aspect of this kind of creative writing. What you did with this piece was amazing in that aspect, allowing your ideas to overtake the importance of the rhyming... not to mention that a lot of it (the rhyming) was really good as well. Beyond the rhyming, images, metaphors, and overall concept was absolutely dope. Progression was your strength in this piece, as your character developed, it almost seemed like your hunger to write developed and while it started very nicely, it ended even nicer. I can tell you enjoyed writing this because it didn't let up at all from start to finish. That is one thing you and Mynd have in common, both of your pieces from beginning to end were so strong. I knew when I clicked on this thread for the first time that voting would be a fucking bitch, but I have to do it...

    Vote: MC4Sight, it took me a while to come to a conclusion, because rhyming preference puts Mynd way ahead in this match. I LOVED his fucking piece a lot so voting against it was tough, but 4Sight... Jesus Christ dude, what you did this week transcended my usual preference in pieces in this league... Once again I'll say that I have the utmost respect for both of these writers, as I enjoy reading what they put down each week, and that's what this is all about for me, not winning, not losing, not championships, fuck all that, this league is about discovering some dope writing, enjoying the reading, and having my own stuff looked at and critiqued...

    One of the best champ matches I've witnessed since I joined.

    Piece, good luck to both of you.[/hide]
  13. Urizen

    Urizen I hate humans

    Sep 11, 2004
    [HIDE]vote - 4sight

    Baron - I liked this piece man ... we all know dark pieces tend to go with me
    this was the first time Ive read on of these pieces from you
    and you did a mighty fine job
    I liked the darkness of this piece and how you narrated it kind of short
    and felt like more should be added but still a dope piece

    4sight - this was a dope piece you went ALL out I mean from the story
    to the way you told it to the way you used your words this was a dope job
    didnt think you wanted the champ match that bad
    but you did an excellent job I enjoyed reading this

    this was a dope battle both came nice but 4sight just took this [/HIDE]
  14. Linxz

    Linxz What!

    Feb 5, 2006

    baron had a good piece, it was like the topic he chose that gave him the L. Plus his verse was short, but i understand. Cause the way you was writting, it might been to much brain power to keep on the level that you start it on.

    4sight ya your piece was put together well, I give daps and props. Only because I like how you told the story[/hide]
  15. Anaphora

    Anaphora was here

    Jan 17, 2004
    [HIDE]OK, as a quick preface, I copy pasted both of these verses into Word, and printed them, and went over them on my break without even knowing whose verses I was reading. Kind of surprising on Baron's verse. The flow was there, dentures of white was a weird inversion for the rhyme, but the story was just creepy, but not in a good way. Basically, it's plotline was flat, a guy kidnapped a girl, raped her, in detail, killed her, and is looking for more victims. The end. That's it. The details, while loathesome, were pretty good, but the utter lack of a story at all, just kind of bugged me. It was a vignette at best. Day in the life of a sex offender. I really would've liked this to go somewhere, anywhere, but it never really did.

    MC4: Interesting formatting. Helped differentiate from inner monologue and others... the insanity and art is very similar to Dic's verse this week... The flow was pretty good, never really stumbled on anything. There was a narrative progression that was nice to see, I don't know if they let violent mental patients enlist in the army, but maybe I'm wrong... haha, but I'm interested to read the next installment of this... I just hope it goes somewhere interesting.

    Vote: Close, Baron had a better flow, and MC4 had a storyline... I put a heavier weight on story though... meaning above aesthetics I guess. So I'll vote MC4[/HIDE]
  16. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

    Feb 26, 2005
    MC 4sight wins
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)