burnt

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by vinous, May 25, 2003.

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  1. vinous

    vinous New Member

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    May 22, 2003
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    these acidic tears burn my eyes
    reminders of this compromise
    trickling down, this sin smeared streak
    whispers whilst it stains my cheek
    unworthy are my eyes to cry
    for hangers on and passers by
    would have loved to live
    just to fight and die
    for a cause named you
    though not I, oh I
    am confined to fear
    and can already see each wasted year
    without you

    so undeserving am I to feel this pain
    self inflicted, consequence of forbidden gain
    sacrificed everything we made
    while gambling on love, the debts now paid
    burning tears still screaming
    past my cheek,
    empty sentiments betray
    what was needed to speak
    i just weep.
    test
  2. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    welcome to the realm.....

    this was a great piece!

    loved how u started it off

    flow was on point.....

    will get more replies if you show love to the other

    cats in here

    stick around..
    test
  3. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

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    i'm quoting the whole thing because i really liked it ,felt it ^
    test
  4. varentao

    varentao New Member

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    So purely 'burnt' was the downbeat emotions of this with your words...pure in a slightly 'rough' sense that is...

    ...and ended with a kind of blunt smoothness...

    ...resp...
    test
  5. unspoken1

    unspoken1 Revolutionary Wordsmen

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    Nov 23, 2002
    Messages:
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    nicely done....indeed welcome to the realm like lpoet....i was feeling the whole thing...i hope i can read more of your poems ya know
    test
  6. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    I believe it was talking of a loved one, at least that's what I got from it.

    "and can already see each wasted year
    without you"


    "sacrificed everything we made
    while gambling on love, the debts now paid"


    ^^ What I got the loved one from. I thought it had meaning throughout the piece and how this situation had burned through your soul and what came out from your eyes, as in tears burned you as well, due to a heated soul. Interesting read, mos def. My blessings..
    test
  7. vinous

    vinous New Member

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    Messages:
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    lpoet,h.wood,varentao,unspoken1,TuNed RooT: thanx all for the feedbak, appreciate it muchly...yeh, bout a loved one, nice to see other peoples perceptions and translations of it....off to go read more poetry now,cheers.
    test
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