Burdened

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by $eqra, Jun 4, 2003.

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  1. $eqra

    $eqra sometimes it hurts

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2002
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    As her body grew silent her breath motionless.
    No more moans of pain.
    I felt as if I could see her spirit rise from her body.
    I should have felt some sort of sadness but only joy came from her death.
    A single tear of joy fell from my eyes as family looked on with pity for me.
    I loved her she was my soul mate, but in her last years I could not stand to be near her to watch her body deteriorate before my eyes.
    To know that I could do nothing to stop her illness.
    In the beginning I had believed that I would be her medicine.
    To help her smile when the pain hit.
    To help ease her mind from the inevitable end that would befall her.
    However after watching her grow weaker and knowing that without someone to help her namely me she could not perform the simplest of tasks.
    Her orders seemed to please me at first to know that I could be of some help and then later it burden me.
    My every day spent with her taking her to the bathroom spoon-feeding her, her meals.
    Cleaning her withered body when the smell got to strong.
    Visitors looked at me with whisper of how amazing I am for taking on this task.
    And I ate it up all the praise all the complements of how much of a wonderful person I was.
    Me knowing how I hated it.
    Now it is all over the day has come and I am rejoiced.
    I shall surely go to hell for these feelings in me.
    I cover her face with the sheet and now can begin my life again as what would seem to be a free woman.
    I do pray that she is in a better place and that she is no longer in pain.
    However to see the walls outside of this place will be a blessing. Yes I shall surely go to hell for these feelings.
    test
  2. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
    Messages:
    11,131
    sorry i dont have time to drop a whole decent responce, but i wanted to let u know right now after i finished readin it that i thought it was a great poem. i'll drop a decent reply later... forgive me.
    test
  3. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
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    "However to see the walls outside of this place will be a blessing. Yes I shall surely go to hell for these feelings."

    Amazing word usages within this piece that you've dropped. I thought this had a certain meaning that was true to you and anyone who could relate to it. Me, personally, I couldn't, although obviously something needed to get off your chest, some sort've pressure. Great piece, overall though. My blessings..
    test
  4. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    fuckin great....

    is this true...

    sorry if it is..but if its not...this is mad creative....

    the truth...

    hard for me to right bout the shit like that, if its actually happin to me...i dunno....i do better with my imagination.....but this was dope...great stroy......keep it up
    test
  5. e'S

    e'S sdrowkcab mi kool

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2002
    Messages:
    517
    havent heard .....read any thing of yours in
    a cold minute
    glad to refreshin the board with some of the wonderful words
    test
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