blah 23

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by T.R.C...., Sep 7, 2010.

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  1. T.R.C....

    T.R.C.... New Member

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    little off but whatever

    i do psychological damage an make fuckers grovel
    im a fan of misery i dont mean the stephen king novel
    two lines typed and four up a nostril so dizzy im startin to wobble
    but still got enough ill to rock the game til it topples
    inhale a deep breath so massive my lungs are torn
    more destruction than a nuclear explosion inside of a thunderstorm
    im so evil i wasnt born i clawed my way from the deapths of hell
    with a thirst for carnage that only death will qwell
    no matter what i got next to shell i get the portions right
    excuses for violence i didnt stab him his throat absorbed my knife
    people call the fire department cuz i torch the mic im soon to be deemed vile
    so for now i go around ringin necks quick like i got them on speed dial
    admittedly ima one trick with this weak style but i tend not to bomb
    plus i can always fall back on the shit i wrote in the necronomicon
    fuck my flow isnt flowin my hot streak is slowin
    the gists of my spits have failed to soak in i hope its not permanent
    i cant go back societal services when theres rhymes that need murderin
    i'll get back on track when i think of some doper shit
    only tripped up cuz my ego so big i actually tripped over it



    http://board.rapmusic.com/open-mic/1235769-aka-epidemik-3-headed-beastly-verses.html
    http://board.rapmusic.com/open-mic/1235896-yahshua-anointed.html
    test
  2. TACOMA253BRNRZD

    TACOMA253BRNRZD New Member

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    Does everyone talk about the same shit on here????
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  3. T.R.C....

    T.R.C.... New Member

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    tacoma do you say the same shit on every thread you reply to except for lyricalpriests who you think slayed some dude like a lamb which he did not it wasnt terrible but dude it was not that good nor the best hes done and no not everybody is saying the same shit i dont read too many if any people making references to stephen king novels or the necronomicon so either leave some fuckin decent criticism or shut the fuck and dont reply
    test
  4. TACOMA253BRNRZD

    TACOMA253BRNRZD New Member

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    Ur right, my bad dog.. I shouldnt be like that i re-read it...

    Heres some real criticism...

    favorite line ....

    second fav line...

    It obvious u were just free typing, bc there wasnt any real topic or message beside how vile and fucked up u r.. Thats what i ment when i said is everyone rappin bout the same shit... Bc this piece has all been done before although it completely original and all yours, its just i know u can do something thatll have more of an impact.. When u just type shit to say shit.. People will react the same way..
    test
  5. T.R.C....

    T.R.C.... New Member

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    aight there you go contributing now and yeah i was just sayin whatever came to mind that kind of shit is fun this is the kind of shit i like to spout and a lot of other people like to do the same its just fun im not trying to be about something not everything has to have a message and shit and i dont think people should or always will react the same way because there are some differences in it its not all "how vile and fucked up" i am plus look through here i did one topical piece thats yet to be commented on seems people would rather read this kind of stuff from me so thats one reason ive got a bunch of drops like this
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  6. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

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    this verse was ok imo, the lines read a little long and stretched, which made the flow a little forced.

    as well the rhymes were mediocre, and simple. for these types of verses topic wise, I would suggest putting more thought into the mechanics of them to help the flow. multi-syllables and internals would help the flow greatly.


    keep writing :)
    test
  7. T.R.C....

    T.R.C.... New Member

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    stretched lines? shit this is actually one of the shorter verses i do but i get what you sayin ima keep at it thanks man
    test
  8. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

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    no problem, the verse length was fine man, it was the length of each line. if you follow what I'm sayin.
    test
  9. T.R.C....

    T.R.C.... New Member

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    kinda i mean i know a few lines i did make a little long but i thought it flowed together ok maybe its just the way i spit it in my head doesnt translate into how people read it i gotta work on that either way ha ha
    test
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