Bitter I Suppose?

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by MISSKEYdaQUEEN, Sep 27, 2004.

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  1. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2002
    Messages:
    17,838
    I can't
    I won't do it
    I wont allow my heart to become
    pliable to his warmth
    won't allow it
    I won't feel
    the warmth of his lips
    The stories he's telling me from his embrace
    I'm not listening
    I can't melt
    and I'm not sorry
    If you cut me
    I wont bleed
    I'm a serious bitch
    and I don't need it
    that L word
    that so many aspire to find
    For all I care
    it can stay hidden
    Cause I'm not looking
    Not looking for dissapointment
    not looking for pain
    Not looking for sorrow
    Not looking for the emptiness that follows
    When
    The bed is vacant
    And you heart is a hollow shell
    And you have this lump in your throat
    so you cant swallow
    ANd you smell your fingers looking for his scent
    And you wipe a persistent flow of mucous from your nose
    And your head is pounding
    Migraines and shit
    Oh no
    Not again
    So dont kiss me
    I don't want to feel it
    The butterflies
    The feeling of exitement
    I dont want to remember that warm place
    I used to rest my head
    That smoothness of your back
    the way your fingers felt when they
    rubbed my arms
    The way you slept
    breaking the silence of the night
    with your breathing
    I don't want to remember
    So I wont
    I wont remember
    when he said
    the words that had me messed up for life
    I love you
    The lie
    The blasphemy
    I will never believe again
    I wont hear it
    I'm deaf to it
    I wont allow it
    I cant
    test
  2. Kaybi

    Kaybi Guest

    wow i love ot read what chicks think of love. i felt this
    lotsa emotions and not just your mind taking a shit
    well planned and flowed perfect, musical
    and saddd
    test
  3. .·*cata*mami*·.

    .·*cata*mami*·. DYOZ GROUPIE

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2004
    Messages:
    18
    My respects, that poem was beatiful. It's always nice to read something like that when you feel down for a love.
    I see alot of pain in your poem, i hope is from the past, and i hope you don't feel that way. I always get scared to fall in love because loosers always turned me down, so i guess i can relate to ur poem. U had me into it alot. So anyways girl that poem is dope (like a love of mine would say=)
    test
  4. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

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    Messages:
    17,838
    thanks..it was a keystyle

    and actually that is my frame of mind these days..

    it just works better for me like that!!
    test
  5. BrokenSoul8604

    BrokenSoul8604 Apparently Emotionless

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
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    hmm....sounds like you hate the fact that you love this man....just my take tho

    stay up

    God bless
    test
  6. Bhitiah

    Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures

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    1,173
    That ending was off the hook, I feel the whole poem though, Damn...The whole time my heart was hurtin' for real, I was like, Got Damn, Damn...


    "I don't want to remember
    So I wont
    I wont remember
    when he said
    the words that had me messed up for life
    I love you
    The lie
    The blasphemy
    I will never believe again
    I wont hear it
    I'm deaf to it
    I wont allow it
    I cant"

    ^ Damn.
    test
  7. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

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    Messages:
    17,838
    thank you my sista!
    test
  8. *Hott Chocolate*

    *Hott Chocolate* current mood: happy

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    4,390
    damn girl...so much emotion...and i'm feeling it thuroughly cause i've totally been there time and time again. i promise myself never again, but it always ends up happening all over. damn good read though! i'll deffinately look for more of ur stuff.
    test
  9. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

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    2,986
    word the ladys write with those emotions so fluid in motion I'm diggin this poem yo

    props...first time reading your work I'll keep my eye out for you and yours

    PEace and GODbless
    test
  10. niniane17

    niniane17 New Member

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    Sep 14, 2004
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    93
    i loved the reality of this poem. that's how love is for a lot of people,
    =============================
    I wont remember
    when he said
    the words that had me messed up for life
    I love you
    The lie
    The blasphemy
    I will never believe again
    I wont hear it
    I'm deaf to it
    I wont allow it
    I cant
    ===========================
    i was really into this part, because that's how love is for me.
    i don't wanna hear it, don't wanna remember that he lied. it's hurts, so you can't let yourself.

    nice drop. lookin forward to reading some more of your work
    test
  11. nathedawg

    nathedawg New Member

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    Oct 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,804
    If you cut me
    I wont bleed... wow digging that right there... ive wrote that a few times in my past work... good wordplay

    and i agree with brokensoul on his reply...

    I love your work... keep it up
    test
  12. kyza soza

    kyza soza This way up.

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2004
    Messages:
    16,576
    i love raw emotion and this have it in abundance.

    The end was fiyah. and the constant battle with yourself.. you want him but you dont want the risk that comes with it..

    Thats what i got from it.
    test
  13. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2004
    Messages:
    5,023
    Okay I get this, I think.
    Its a past love, you're no longer in that relationship, time to move onto Me, Myself and I-be free to find yourself and get to know You better-right?

    But,
    At the same time you're sort of missin all that you just wrote about-the affection, the love, but you know you gotta get thru this and be in the right away, which it seems you're doing. Haven't seen you in here a while, but glad I saw this girl.
    Much Love
    test
  14. illpoetical

    illpoetical raising the bar everyday

    Joined:
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    1,533
    not looking for pain
    Not looking for sorrow
    Not looking for the emptiness that follows
    When
    The bed is vacant
    And you heart is a hollow shell
    And you have this lump in your throat
    so you cant swallow


    bravo, u wrote this with such passion and anger, it was like it came right from the pages of your diary, fire, girl holla twin
    test
  15. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2003
    Messages:
    1,110
    AMEN!
    Thats exactly how I feel about love. This was intense, the realness and emotion in it would make for a dope spoken word piece. I was defintely feeling every word of this, sooner or later, everyone who is in "love" will feel like this at one point. The frustration is real, but the truth makes this piece beautiful at the same time.

    much love

    peace
    test
  16. babyangel17

    babyangel17 New Member

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    Apr 21, 2004
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    147
    i thought it was good i liked how the flow went on it u kno
    test
  17. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

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    Jul 20, 2002
    Messages:
    17,838
    I actually did this piece at the poetry venue last night

    It was cool...Thanks for the response all! I'll peep your work?
    test
  18. 6ftground

    6ftground BLACKACE/GRIMREADER

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    2,066
    I loved the structure and the consistency with every emotion felt this poem yelled out I don’t want to love because it a double edged action… this poem was eye catching through and through… with the descriptive touches and the rejection verbs.. I liked it … I liked this drop… Peace
    test
  19. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    17,331
    "If you cut me
    I wont bleed"

    ^That was my favorite part. Really what made the poem come to life IMO. Think that would have made a dope ending. Always good seeing you post something in the realm.

    one luv
    test
  20. quotive

    quotive 3

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    Messages:
    13,756
    This reminds me of an older piece you posted once. About a window fan.. know what I'm talkin' about? Yeah..

    Like the structure.. makes it nice and easy to read. This would be an ill open mic piece.. some nice smooth spoken word shyt.. yeah

    "I love you
    The lie
    The blasphemy
    I will never believe again"

    I can relate to that. I like how you put your emotions in this. Its like you've been betrayed or something..

    anyways good drop ma.. keep 'em coming.
    test
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