Big ol' Magazine Time

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by TaLi RodrigueZ, Jan 25, 2006.

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  1. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

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    --- Contents ---

    I. Week 1 Review (Annihilation)
    II. Week 2 Review (Annihilation)
    III. Week 1 Top 20 Breakdown (Strike2)
    IV. Week 1 Voter of the Week
    V. Week 2 Voter of the Week
    VI. TaLi's Top 5 Verses (Week 1)
    VII. TaLi's Top 5 Verses (Week 2)
    VIII. Got Life & Pain Speak on You (Yes You)
    IX. Interview with Annihilation
    X. Sweat the Small Stuff (Anaphora)
    XI. Highway Robbery in the RSTL (Anaphora)
    XII. Random Tournament Babble

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  2. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Joined:
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    I. Week 1 Review (Annihilation)


    The Week in Review
    by Annihilation(aka Claushouse)

    A week hampered by no-shows (more on that later) was at least partially offset by one of the best Championship Matches in recent memory, as 5-time Champion Runna Damille (17-4), better known as Rikoshay (18-1), was downed by first-time RSTL Champ Anaphora (8-1), starting off his 2006 season with a well-deserved title. The match pitted styles at opposite ends of the spectrum, as Anaphora's 'imagistic' story edged out Runna's politically narrated topical by a score of 5-4. The contendership was far more mediocre, with Vigil (9-6) posting a 16 line rehash, and Annihilation (6-1) giving readers epileptic seizures with a 'colorful' verse (to say the least), biting off more than he could chew, despite taking the bout 7-2. He'll face Anaphora for the belt next week.

    Elsewhere in the league, Richard Corey (42-9) shut-out Ashen Horse (5-3), despite it being a close match, as both cats came with solid posts. Corey, a 3-time Champion, will face Pain (10-5) in the Contendership Match next week, as the young gun eagerly hunts for his first title. Veteran textee and former champion Tekneek (62-21) attempted to silence critics who've written him off as a has-been, defeating Got Life? (7-6) with his best piece in months, climbing back up into 7th spot. Outside the Top 20, Nell (1-0) bested Crosse (0-1) in a solid battle as both these emcees made their 2006 debuts.


    The Shit List
    InsaneVillain*
    Insense
    Tommy Hillnigga
    Young Gawd
    Malosovich**
    Grimey Bastard
    Jersey Emcee
    RavenHill
    RahVizhual
    Helpdesk
    Greg Braid E
    ThaCount
    Walter Sickert
    D'Vout
    Unknown User

    *2005 No Show King of the Year
    **MODERATOR


    Congratulations! You all no showed. Special props to Jersey Emcee and Grimey Bastard for double no-showing! Out of a potential 17 battles, there were 5 - and 2 battles outside the Top 6. Initial reports indicate this is the worst dodging since Vietnam. We asked InsaneVillain to speak on the situation; unfortunately, he was unavailable for comment.

    Strike2 (5-0) continued his undefeated streak as he moves into 5th seed, facing Retulen Reactus (17-5), while veteran writer Cereal Killer (36-14) is lurking within the Contendership Match's striking distance as well, despite the fact he signed out and no one, but your humble (and dare I say handsome?) Reporter keenly observed, as he takes on Tekneek. Rounding out the Top 20, last but not least, recent sign-in I Dunno (5-2) continues to move up the ranks as he slides into 9th.

    Notable entries for the coming week include Lost Prophet (9-3) and Jai-Z (3-0). Meanwhile, Lola Cruez II (1-3) returns in hopes of a breakout season. Daddy Long Legs (2-0) creeps into the Top 20 and has posted promising verses, in spite of his competition failing to show. Kriminal (1-0), Tha DQ (1-0), Kryptikal (1-0) and ErykahCaine (1-0) all picked up W's.

    And that is the week in review.
    test
  3. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

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    II. Week 2 in Review​


    The Week in Review
    by Annihilation(aka Claushouse)

    As we edge closer to the end of the RSTL's first month of action in 2006, we finally have our first successful defense of the title as Anaphora (9-1) defeated Annihilation (6-2) in a heart-wrenching 5-4 battle, similar to his victory over 5-time champ Runna DaMille (17-4) a week prior. Richard Corey (43-9) has once again moved himself into the top-seeded match, buldozering over Pain (10-6) in the Contendership, and continuing to evade putting his record's loss bracket into the double digits. Anaphora, who was bested by Richard Corey for the belt in 2004 by a single vote, will definitely be looking for redemption as RC looks to repeat that performance and earn himself a 4th title.

    While on the topic of Richard Corey, it's worth mentioning that his vote in the Ashen Horse vs. Got Life? was longer than either of their verses (and Peter North on roids, for that matter) and took two posts to finish. Were hidden content not in effect it's possible many would have mistakenly voted for Corey. As to not spoil it for you, the ever-vigilant reader, here is an excerp from a prior Richard Corey novel-sized vote made in 2005, in order to highlight its heuristic value. The names of the people have been changed in order to protect the innocent:

    laTi Spreewell vs. Tekkene Mutumbo

    "this piece...was the, perhaps uh...ungoodest piece I've ever read from you"

    "your "long rod?" Rod? What is this a 1970's Ron Jeremy film? lol."

    "YUMMY? Did you just say Letty was "yummy?" What the hell, that's horrible"

    " I guess that's pretty true to life if you're a young, premature ejaculating, kid"

    " then maybe it wouldn't feel so incomplete, but as it stands... this...arfaghhghgahhaghhgh ag..."


    Oh, the memories.

    Continuing his impressive streak is the aptly named Strike2 (6-0), also known as Strike (L-O-L), as he remains undefeated entering the Contendership. He'll face off against twice champion, RSTL Founder, former Verbatim Editor-in-Chief and resident shit-disturber Tekneek (63-21). Tek did not fail to capitalize on the opportunity of taking a free win after moderators mistakenly kept Cereal Killer (36-14) in the league. When asked on how many battles to vote on, league moderator Malosovich kindly replied: "2 you insensitive peice of shit." Another mod, Pent uP, expressed his apologies to his opponent by saying "sorry for the inconcvienece, CK." Not as sorry as I am for both of your spelling abilities.

    Returning to the aforementioned RSTLer Got Life? (8-6), this underrated fighter has been grinding it out week after week without much recognition (other than that of Pain's, which borders on fellatio). His record doesn't reflect his abilities, his beef with cats in the league motivates his opponents, and his matchups have been tough. He doesn't mince words in his votes and tells it how he sees it. All this has made his road a tough one to climb, and he hasn't backed down. This week he finally caught a break, narrowly losing by a single vote to Ashen Horse (5-4), but nonetheless taking the victory as Ashen failed to vote.

    With several matches decided over nary a vote this week, it's important to recognize the devastating effects that not voting can have. Moderator and 3-time champion Tali Rodriguez has acknowledged that the new mandatory 4 vote no-show win rule will be going into effect this week. If you want the W, you must put up 4 votes; no excuses.

    In other news, Lost Prophet (10-3) made a successful return to league action in a close contest between himself and veteran I Dunnno (5-3). I dunno what the hell is wrong with you people, but his name has THREE 'n''s, not two, so start posting it right. Clerical errors aside, Daddy Long Legs (3-0), affectionately known as DLL, tied one of the league's notable new quality voters, recent entry Tha DQ (2-0). Unfortunately, Daddy, a 'Run DMC' fan, signed out, reportedly in order to start a new rap group, named 'Run .DLL'.

    Veterans Erykah Caine (2-0), Malosovich (37-17) and Vigil (9-6) all moved up with no-show victories. Amazingly, Malo, despite constantly no-showing himself in past weeks, has moved into 8th place without writing a single piece. Could he be the next Firespitta? Only time will tell.

    Outside the Top 20, Nell (2-0) faced Kryptical (2-0) in an intense battle that ended in a draw. The two will clash again next week, albeit as the 15th and 16th seeds (respectively), as their rivalry heats up. Lola Cruez II (1-4) failed to drop against Crosse (2-0) in her return to the league. Meanwhile, Urizen's (1-0) opponent followed suite, as moderator/dyslexic Malosovich declared "Urine wins 1-0." Jokes aside, Malo does alot of good for this league and works hard behind the scenes, so don't worry Urizen, 'ure-in' good hands.

    Lastly, please do not forget that the RSTL will be running both the League and the No No-show Tournament simultaneously starting next week. Tali and Pent uP will be managing the league (with matches posted in the RSTL Top 20 thread), while Rikoshay and Malosovich will be handling the tournament (with matches posted in the Rap Story/Topical League thread).

    And that is the week in review.
    test
  4. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

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    Week 1 Top 20 Breakdown (strike2)​

    20. Jersey Emcee Vs 19. Grimey Bastard
    Well double no show both checked in both seemed to be showing.. then neither did…
    Winner: none

    18. I dunno vs 17.Insense
    Insense no showed so I dunno got the win with an ok verse not the most polished stuff I ever read but pretty decent
    Winner: I dunno

    16. Cerial Killer vs 15. Young Gawd
    And another no show match.. quite a lot this week Ck came trough with his trademark smooth and nice rhymestyle with a good lil storyline poeticness too cool piece
    Winner: CK

    14. Tekneek vs 13. Got Life?
    A nice match up where to make it complete both contenders used a similar topic approached it in similar ways and even had similar writing styles.. the only thing different was the angle taken at the topic where got life came a little more subtle tekneek was slightly more direct with more fire and brimstone.. where got life took on the role of god and hinted at ending this world as we know it… tek jus spelled out apocalypse.. and apparently the voters liked it just that little bit more as this match was decided by the difference of one vote…
    Winner: Tek

    12. Retulen Reactus vs 11. Malosovic
    Ret posted a 4 line no show verse and a mod a MOD for gods sakes no showed… what is this coming to…lol malo you suck! On the other hand you woulda been my next opponent so I guess it coulda been worse :
    Winner Ret


    10. Tommy Hillnigga vs 9. Strike
    Well surprise surprise another no show match TH or Voltron or Quriosity wich ever you wanna call dude forgot and came in late I posted a 16 line no show verse and got the win too bad coulda been a good one
    Winner: Strike

    8. Insanevillain vs 7. Pain

    IV no showed and pain dropped early.. pretty nice verse… although you it didn't seem totally balanced at all time.. like you sacrificed content and meanin for flow slightly.. then again Ive seen few writers who can maintain a flow that nice and keep it totally on topic.. nice verse
    Winner: Pain



    6. Ashen Horse vs 5. Richard Corey
    Well to me this is match of the week… 2 incredible verses Ashen stunned me with metaphors and wordplay and a flow infested with a sick rhymescheme.. I was loving this from start to end RC with a different approach the love em and leave em story… but he told it so well… and where I really admired Ashens writing I had to give it up to RC for his natural story telling ability… the votes were hidden so I didn't see if it came close.. but I woulda gone for ashen as this shit was jus too nice.. RC took the win tho… and I cant really blame voters for that either.. too close for my comfort
    Winner: RC




    3. Vigil vs 4. Annihalation
    A very nice match up with very high standards… in the end tho.. Vigil came up short.. litteraly… he posted a short verse in wich he didn't really take the time to build a story or a line to his verse… wich killed him cause what he had was great.. jus too damn short.. as was the consensus by most voters…
    Anni however went overboard… he added a graphic and gave each personality (all 9 of em) a colour and some time to speak on the case however incredibly constructed some people including me felt he went overboard with it in a sense that he might wanna quit his day job and just become a regular writer…the piece was greatly written but the whole concept was jus too much for a 60 line verse…make no mistake tho the piece was fuckin great I am jus not sure wether this is the direction RSTL should go.. however such is always the case with apparent changes the voters seemed to agree that it was good enough to take the win most added it woulda been a more difficult choice if Vigil had posted more tho… so well see next week in champmatch good luck peoples
    Winner: Anni


    2 Anaphora. vs 1. Runna da mille
    Champ match was a thriller.. the score said it all 5-4
    Ana came with a poetry like set up with a very deep and nice message while run came with a more hip hop confrontational style. Both great in their own respects it came down to taste… and Ana pulled it congratulations man
    Winner: Ana


    WEEK2

    20. Eryka Caine Vs 19. Kriminal
    Well we start this week of with a no show and a nice verse… Krim prolly shook as eryka dropped a nice verse with a refreshin writing style good lookin ma
    Winner: EC

    18. Daddy Long legs vs 17. Tha DQ
    A nice bottom match of two prospects I liked both verses as the feelin to write was there in both contenders this match was tied although I think one deserved the win a little more then the other…but what I think doesn’t really matter… DLL signed out to bad shit was pretty nice…so good luck to DQ
    Winner: tied

    16. Malosevic vs 15. Tommy Hillnigga
    Q no showed again Malo posted a no show verse… not much else to say
    Winner: malo

    14. Got Life? vs 13. Ashen Horse
    this was really back and forth with two very talented writers who both also tend to get a little abstract and metaphoric not everyone was totally feeling it but everyone agreed shit was close…the funniest thing about this whole match was that Ashen won in votes but didn’t post links so he lost in the end.. thass really to bad but not to take away from GL dude did good and the win altho kinda stolen is not undeserved
    Winner: Got Life?

    12. Jai-z vs 11. Vigil
    jay had to no show but she was cool about it and let Vig now in advance so he could post a lil no show thing.. pretty cool shit.. too bad it couldn’t be more
    Winner Vigil


    10. Lost prophet vs 9. I dunno
    This one went down close I really liked I dunno’s verse this week it was kinda funny but not really iono how to say it I skimmed trough it right quick but I liked the tone in wich the story was told nice read far as I could tell. Rm is usually more for the dramatic pieces tho… and LP used that very well as he wrote a very nice piece narratin relational problems and since no pain goes deeper then bein hurt by your beloved such pieces hit home real fast.. I enjoyed this piece too and in the end LP pulled it
    Winner: LP

    8. Cerial Killer vs 7. Tekneek
    I can be short about this tek posted a good verse and Im warned for this week.. CK no showed wich was too bad..cause this could have been one of the better matches this week
    Winner: Tekneek

    6. Retulen vs 5. Strike
    Well I was cut for time so I posted a pretty shitty verse and got lucky ret no showed
    Winner: Strike
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  5. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

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    3. Richard Corey vs 4. Pain
    Well pain gets better every week I see him, one thing tho I like your imagery and metaphors BUT I get the idea you don’t use them as effectively as you could probably should…like some of em are just there because they sound really deep and nice or at least that’s the idea I get… otherwise it was a nice verse with a very smart concept joining the pictures with the caught in a dream topic nice shit…
    RC tho… is in a league where few others go, Id say vern talent claus and maybe 2 or 3 more( I have missed a lot rstl mayhem) so he can afford to lay less effort in a verse and still whoop ass..the writin mechanics were amazing as always the only thing that wasn’t on the same level as I normally see RC was the story line it seemed like something out of the poetry league and I could kinda predict how it would go a few lines in.. I don’t even know if that’s a flaw because it kept me stuck in the seat but yeah this man is a monster
    Winner: RC


    2. Annihalation vs 1. Anaphora
    Champ match was ill as hell.. and a surprise to me.. I kinda expected claus (anni) to take this. However ana had a very very creative story and a great vocab I personally can never get into ana’s pieces cause the writing style doesn’t do it for me but the thought and storyline itself are so nice and well narrated that I have to admire duke very nice. Anni is one of my favorites period so smoothe and natural and not one word to much or to short…very captivating and this match really went to the wire it ended 5-4
    Winner: Ana



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    IV. Week 1 Voter of the Week

    Once again, this week’s award came down to a couple of worthy combatants. As a matter of fact, it came down to the two folks who will be fighting it out for the championship this week. However, once all was said and done, I had to give the slight nod to Anaphora. The guy has had good detailed votes every week since he’s been back. We definitely need more of that, specifically from some of you newer people who haven’t been around enough to see what is generally expected out of you. ​
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  6. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

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    V. Week 2 Voter of the Week


    Like Claus said before, something is happening. Voting, for whatever reason, is getting way better. It still sucks in a lot of ways. But, in terms of explanations, I think people are definitely taking more time to critique. That makes giving out this award increasingly harder and harder. Anaphora could have taken this; Claus could have taken it again; and a few other newcomers really showed out. With that said, this week has to go to Richard Corey. Besides getting in all of his votes and giving feedback to people who didn’t even have battles, the dood came up with a two post long vote for one of the matches. I’ve never seen anything like that in my life lol.
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  7. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

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    VI. TaLi's Top 5 Verses (Week 1)


    5. Ashen Horse
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=957466

    I’m actually a bit surprised that Ashen Horse didn’t get a few votes against Richard Corey last week. Obviously I have Corey ranked higher here, but they were two different styles and I thought both were pulled off pretty well. Anaphora won his first title last week. Annihilation could win his first this week. If there is anyone else signed in right now who hasn’t won that I think will, it’s this dood.


    4. Annihilation
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=957467

    Claus took a chance with this one. Given the line limitation, I thought this verse turned out pretty damn good. It wasn’t necessarily the easiest thing to read through given all of the different formatting. But if read carefully, it is still a very enjoyable read. This was definitely a substance over style submission.


    3. Richard Corey
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=957466

    Here is my weekly ode to how good a Richard Corey verse was. He won storyteller of the year for a reason. This is a story. It is well-written. It has smooth transitions. It rhymes well. The characters have depth. I am finished now lol.


    2. Runna DaMille
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=957468

    The rhyme scheme in this piece was completely ridiculous. My guess is that a lot of people didn’t even really see it as anything other than the same scheme from beginning to end. If that is you, go read it again, please. Even if it weren’t the case that the rhymes were ill, the actually content of the verse was damn nice as well. Like I said, this is how it should be, champ match ought to have the two best verses of the week in it and this week it did.


    1. Anaphora
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=957468

    This is just your average “sick idea implemented like a professional” Anaphora verse. Some people aren’t big fans of the repetition that was used. I’m not a big fan of it myself when it sucks. But, this didn’t suck. This was actually a damn good illustration of repetition wisely rather than just using it because you’re lazy and you can’t come up with more lines, or using it trying to be all deep and shit but failing miserably lol. Anyways, I won’t say anymore other than I thought Anaphora deserved to win this award with this verse and I think he deserved to win the title with it, although that could have gone either way really.​
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  8. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

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    VII. TaLi's Top 5 Verses (Week 2)


    5. Pain
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=958972

    If Pain would write on this level more consistently, there is no way he’d have the losses he does. I see little bits and pieces of it week to week. But every once in a while, he puts it all together for an entire verse and this is the end result. Ironically, he didn’t end up winning but he certainly gained a few folks respect.


    4. I Dunnno
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=958969

    Personally, I really enjoyed this piece. It was a nice departure from the “always so serious” sort of vibe that has taken over the league for some time now. As usual, the rhymes were also damn nice. I hope folks read this story and maybe thought to themselves how they could possibly incorporate some light-hearted fiction into their stories.


    3. Lost Prophet
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=958969

    The plot was one that had been explored before. Still, that didn’t take anything away from the impact it had as I read it. The emotion was fierce and the fact that he paid some attention to the rhymes as well made this a verse that would have been hard for many to beat.


    2. Richard Corey
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=958972

    Sorry I had to stick you number two again lol. Shit happens. I really liked this story though. I’m an admirer of the way you mix the metaphors with the details and still carry out a cohesive story. Your words were well chosen as always. There really isn’t a whole lot I can say that I haven’t already said every other week I’ve put you in this shit.


    1. Anaphora
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=958973

    Anaphora becomes the second two time winner of this remarkably prestigious award lol. So, needless to say, he’s become one of my favorite writers in this league. Before, he was becoming. Now, he just is. This verse, the use of repetition particularly, really sparked my interest. It was repetitious, yet every time, something new was added on top so there was no sense of déjà vu if you will.​
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  9. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

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    VIII. GotLife? and Pain Speak on YOU​


    GotLife?: arite...so what's good keeps?
    Pain: chillin' son, what's good wit you?

    GotLife?: just takin care of some shit so this should be interesting what knee grows have to say about this bit right here...you wanna go from 1 down or from 28 and up with some special additions for good measure?
    Pain: 28 up, leave the best for last

    GotLife?: haha arite, so at 28 we got crosse, any opinions?
    Pain: nah, not really, I don't know em from most writers in the league, you?

    GotLife?: ha...yea...this guy is a herb in my eyes...first week into the league he drops some straight garbage tryna claim he's O.G. or somethin...then on top of that he goes and does some d/r voting...typical...and now this week he comes in droppin a vote with an explanation of " I just didn't get it" and then takes it personal that I told him if you're ignorant don't vote...smh @ kids these days
    Pain: hahaha, gotta love net-thugs

    GotLife?: haha that's so true...at 27 we got lola cruez ii...anythin to say?
    Pain: nope not all lol. I think that's the first time I seen her name, you?

    GotLife?: lol I dunno she was kinda here...she lost a few times and then disappeared...always funny to see someone get so disheartened that they just quit...I guess she got a vote from crosse or somethin and just got frustrated lol...
    Pain: lmao, it's gotta suck to suck

    GotLife?: haha yea...i'm not even gonna talk on 26, cause that dude was his first week here and ghosted, but I think i kno him from a diff site...neway 25 is kuine...i know you know her from the open mic...what do you think?
    Pain: her open mics were dope, though she was kinda inconsistant, she did some gangsta shit that was pretty tight I remember, that's the only thing that sticks out in my memory, I think if she stays in the league, she'll get better with time, she's got room for improvement, what you think?

    GotLife?: room for improvement yea...but I think her gangsta shit was garbage and I think each time she tried to diss someone it was just weak...I hate people who act hard when someone presses record...
    Pain: yea, I wasn't talkin' bout her diss, she did just some generic gangsta shit

    GotLife?: so does 50 cent...doesn't mean I wanna hear/read that bullshit
    Pain: lol tru

    e dat

    GotLife?: hmm I think 23 and 24 are now so they're getting snubbed, 22...kryptikal...i honestly don't know I think I read a verse from him, but don't really remember it...
    Pain: I remember his shit kinda, he def needs to up flow and scheme, his one of them dudes that thinks this shit don't need flow, it's just gotta be a good story that kinda rhymes, nah, if he works on his fundamentals he'll be dope, like the way homie votes lol

    GotLife?: lol...oh wait...I think i remember now...he had some drawn out story that I either liked or didn't...i mean I like that dude is writing story type tracks, but unless you're being abstract and lucky no1 is really feelin that in the league...believe me i've been there
    Pain: lol, word, it's kinda frustrates people when that's all people write

    GotLife?: haha true...what about nell he's 21...
    Pain: I just read his verse actually, and he's kinda an exact copy of my style about a year ago, if homie can just focus on his diction and writer's voice, and tries to improve, he could do somethin'

    GotLife?: I actually just read my analysis about his verse last week and I agree he's got a good flow, but I think he's kind of bland in the way he approaches topics, but i'm picky so who knows...
    Pain: word, that's true

    GotLife?: arite 20...EreykahCaine
    Pain: I get the feelin' that she's just one of those massively overhyped femcees, when I read her shit, she really has no flow to speak of, and her rhyme schemes are usually boring, she's very descriptive and all that, just when I'm readin' her shit, it ain't like readin a rap, it's more like readin' an essay
    GotLife?: yea...I think she should write a novel instead of verses, although i've read some nice shit from her...most of it bores me and just kinda like...that's cool...but it's not rap or r&b...not really hip hop even...but I got nothin against her

    GotLife?: 19 though is kriminal...what you think of this dude?
    Pain: his open mics are usually in the range of dope to decent, he's talented it seems though, he's got a pretty good flow, scheme needs work, but that's really all he needs to work, a little while in the league will probably help his writing ability
    GotLife?: yea as long as he doesn't keep getting absorbed in the bullshit, because like I said before in om his diss tracks are whack and need not be written...his topicals and what not are solid though and if he stays at it he can def prove to be a good writer

    GotLife?: 18...tha_dq
    Pain: she seems pretty dope, pretty fundamentally sound, her rhyme scheme is pretty weak and could use improvement, she has a good writer's voice and is pretty good at using topics from what I've seen, if she sticks around she might get somewhere
    GotLife?: yea...it's like I was tellin you before she really forced that rhyme, but I caught her flow...she needs to stop tryin to make shit look pretty just cause...emotion wise she developed the characters well...and yea I had my annoyance with the completely improbable end, not in that it was a good twist, but in the fact that it was a huge stretch of something probable...oh well...I guess it's still creative in the end
    Pain: haha I've killed my family in a verse before though, so imagination is appreciated
    GotLife?: you would you twisted fuck...haha
    test
  10. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

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    GotLife?: but neway daddy long legs, other than a whack name and a free ride to the 17 spot via 2 weeks of no-shows straight I think he has some promise. that and he reminds me to much of 108mics
    Pain: lol, yea dude needs to get creative, his verses are usually kinda boring, his fundamentals are solid though, so he's got the foundation, if he just approaches his topic in a more creative manner more often, he'll be good
    GotLife?: that seems to be a common theme in everyone we've mentioned so far
    Pain: lol, word

    GotLife?: tommy hillnigga?
    Pain: lol, no idea who that is, love the name though
    GotLife?: me either...can't say I feel the same way
    Pain: lolol
    GotLife?: he no showed this week though...so in my book he's got a minus, I hate people that waste other people's time
    Pain: lol it ain't really wastin' my time, I'd be writin verses anyway
    GotLife?: lol yea...

    GotLife?: hmm here's an interesting one...malosovich
    Pain: malo, iono, I think he's kinda underrated, though he is inconsistent, I've seen 'em write dope shit, then seen some shit that made me think the dope shit was ghosted,<lmao I write punches without thinkin, but yea, if he gets more consistent he could move up
    GotLife?: i'm tryin to see if I can find somethin n honestly I don't think this guy has battled in god knows how long, but he's an easy going mod?...lol...I really have nothing to say bout him...he's kinda the man under the radar
    Pain: word

    GotLife?: now dude at 14 is straight up above people's heads more then 1/2 the time, that's why 50% of the league is confused by what i'm writtin lol
    Pain: lol, I said it before and I'll say it again, your shit's dope, the only thing I could say to improve your shit would be a better rhyme scheme, but I understand that you don't wanna sacrafice your content, but yea, always enjoy your shit
    Pain: lol you know you gotta drop a review of yourself
    GotLife?: what can I say...you're my inspiration to write ... lmao
    Pain: lolol, no homo
    GotLife?: naturally

    GotLife?: hmm ashen is next
    Pain: recyclin' ass motha fucka, lol, since he recycles I don't know how he is still so inconsistant, his shit can be pretty dope, most of the times it's kinda just abstract rambling that annoys me to read, fundamentals are decent, flow could be better
    GotLife?: wow...if ever there was a religious steve urkel in the league it's this mofucker...straight up rambling in his writing...dude seriously sits there with ms word tools open to thesaurus and then tries to rhyme shit with those random words...he really should have gotten most incoherent...
    Pain: lol, word

    GotLife?: jai-z is 3-0 and at 12?...wtf...where the hell was I
    Pain: lol prolly no show wins or somethin, she's iight, if she improves her fundamentals she'll be dope
    GotLife?: bah...I think the best femcee has left and plans on being ghost from rm altogether so that's that...and i'm talkin bout nique of course
    Pain: word, I agree whole heartedly

    GotLife?: hmm 11 is a good one, vigil...one of us young ones
    GotLife?: personally I think he writes some shit that is also way above people's heads and he doesn't get the love he deserves...he did for like a split second and then everyone hit snooze again, which is a shame cause he writes some creative shit, but sometimes I think he overthinks his shit

    Pain: yessir, not to toot our horns but I think that me him n you are the best "new arrivals" to the league, though I have been around for a year, motha fuckas still say I'm new for some reason, but yea, one of my favorite reads, mad creative like you said
    GotLife?: that's cause you're a ninja...i'm sorry...i shouldn't have smoked before doin this...
    Pain: lmao, nah you're right though, I sneak, then shank ya ass when you least expect, I mean, prolly shouldn't have smoked either
    GotLife?: lol....yea...I missed the memo about shanking asses
    Pain: lolol

    GotLife?: neway...top 10...lost prophet
    Pain: I think homies pretty dope, I remember he was in the league a while back, he was pretty dope then, so I'm think in that period he improved, so he could eventually be a force up in this bitch
    GotLife?: i've only read the one verse from him but I liked it...and he's a good seemingly active member which is what the league needs...all these no-showing lazy ass people need to be....poked wit an olive fork or somethin
    Pain: what the fuck is an olive fork?
    GotLife?: it's a fork for olives...fuck is the matter with you
    Pain: lol, my bad, I never knew there was a special fork for olives

    GotLife?: low class knee grow...lmao, i dunno...
    Pain: lol, another dude that everyone picked to beat me in predictions, I won of course, lol, I swear these bastards will never have me be the favorite, but yea, he's alright, he seems like one of those writer's that's stuck in his ways and doesn't see room for improvement, if he improved his fundamentals a bit more, he'd be a good consistent writer in the league
    GotLife?: lol...where the hell are these predictions cause I never see them, but i honestly dunno bout him...some weeks he's good...some weeks he kinda falls off...I can tell you one thing for sure though...the shit he wrote this week...was not funny...I don't care what anyone says...writing about big smart rats is about as funny as carrot top
    Pain: lol true dat, check hookups, though I don't think anyone did 'em this week

    GotLife?: ha no shit...cereal killer?
    Pain: prolly one of my favorite reads to be honest, his creativity usually makes his stories pretty interesting, and his fundamentals are sound, his approach on the topic is almost always dope, but he does reach for shit sometimes, and it kinda annoys me a lil bit
    GotLife?: you just like him cause he's white, seriously...he's such a stereotypical "undeground" white emcee who talks about gory shit...I liked it at first, until I noticed that was his "gimmick"...but nah he's got good imagery and always drops something interesting
    Pain: lol, true
    test
  11. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    4,546
    GotLife?: guess who's up next...i'll give you a hint he's :
    GotLife?: THE INGREDIENTS OF MY FOUNDATION

    The savage attitude of Canibus
    The mental mindstate of Rakim
    The rugged voice of Xzibit
    The uncontrollable persona of Kurupt
    The infinite skills of Nas
    The nonchalant styles of Slick Rick

    Pain: lolol, gotta be the one and only tek
    GotLife?: lmao...i'ma fall off my chair

    Pain: iight so homie is overrated, probably has the most undeserved ego I've ever seen, his avatar is the shit, yea he has terrible diction, the shit annoys me, and his shit is usually all over the place, not one of my favorite writers in the league
    GotLife?: i think it was the biggest bullshit loss I ever had last week...his shit was honestly written like he was dyslexic or never passed the grammar aspects of city wide tests...but that's what happens when you just kind of sit in the league for 20 years like a hermit...
    Pain: lol word to that

    GotLife?: 6....retulen reactus
    Pain: I honestly don't ever remember reading a verse from 'em
    GotLife?: all I know about dude is that he seems to be a less talented clone of riko
    Pain: lolol

    GotLife?: what about strike?
    Pain: well he beat me a while back I remember, so he must be good, lol, but yea, he's dope, one of the more slept on underrated writers I've ever seen in the league

    GotLife?: I don't think he took you in that battle and i'm stickin to that story, but yea he's a good writer...i hate though that 2 weeks ago when he was ratin verses n shit he skipped mine just cause some fag no-showed on me…honestly that memoirs of a child verse I wrote was hot...and I can say that w/o bias
    Pain: lol, yea I remember that shit, you shoulda pulled a pest and recycled that shit
    GotLife?: i just might in like a year or something lol
    Pain: lol
    GotLife?: and when I do...please slap me
    Pain: haha, I got you son

    GotLife?: yea so next is you actually
    Pain: get out
    GotLife?: what can I say...your flow is prolly the best in the league and you're depressing...but a good writer...some of your lines are def quotables and you have at least a couple every week
    Pain: haha good looks, I would say my best aspect is that I know I can improve, no matter how good I am, I still got room to grow, so watch muh fuckas, I ain't peaked yet
    GotLife?: haha true...so now i'ma pretend to care and ask you what inspires you to write
    Pain: lol life, anything that happens, I get into moods, and yuo can kinda see the trends in my writing, basically whatevers on my mind when I sit down and hear a beat and the fact that D.E. has gotta run shit

    GotLife?: de? oh wait...yea...
    Pain: Double Entendre mother fucker! lol this shit is incriminating, don't have em post this
    GotLife?: lol...throws up quasi gang sign lol
    Pain: lol, I just tried to see if I could make a D.E. with my hands, D was kinda O'ish

    GotLife?: lol...get serious...rc...what do you have to say about him
    Pain: he's pretty dope, one of the top 5 in the league, he's pretty much got everything a writer needs to excel, the only thing that'll ever hurt 'em is consistancy
    GotLife?: yea...pretty much I expect him to drop somethin that makes my jaw drop every week
    GotLife?: and that's askin a lot
    Pain: lol whoa, I wouldn't go that far, no man makes my jaw drop
    GotLife?: lol..I would't either lol…some of his shit has made me say "damn" though and I expect that every week, and you can't get that every week
    Pain: true dat

    GotLife?: what about anni?
    Pain: pretty dope, he kinda snuck under the radar on his way to the champ match, I don't remember him being any good battles, but he's fundamentally sound, has a decent writer's voice, his shit usually is anything special though
    GotLife?: I think he's actually over hyped...sometimes I read what other people say and they treat him like he fucked angelina jolie in the ass or something…he's a sound writer and a chill dude but he's not the superman people make him out to be
    Pain: word, people jock a lot on the internet it seems
    GotLife?: haha true

    GotLife?: and now...the champ...anaphora
    Pain: ana style doesn't really appeal to me, it's like I respect his writing, because poetically speaking, his shit is fuckin' fire most of the time, but rap wise, let's just say it's better kept on paper, he would dominate in just about any poetry league I've seen, but his fundamentals are weak
    GotLife?: nah I know this dude dylan bosacki who is even crazier...but yea I feel what you're sayin but as you know me...you know I really enjoy that metaphorical different shit
    Pain: no doubt, but bosacki is a funny ass name
    GotLife?: honestly...add a little better rhyme scheme to his shit and I could rock it on a beat lol yea, hmm...yea...I just re-read what I said...I need to quit smokin
    Pain: lol, nonsense, no one NEEDS to quit
    GotLife?: lol

    GotLife?: so that's 28 up to 1 anyone else you want to talk about?
    Pain: god damn, nah, no one that comes to mind really, what about you?
    GotLife?: nah...i'm good with that, any last words for the rstl mag readers?
    Pain: STOP SLEEPIN' ON US, that's all
    GotLife?: in that case let me add..if you keep sleepin on us we'll come after ya moms with an olive fork and we might steal her walker too...
    Pain: lmao, I gotta get me one of these olive forks, they seem pretty useful
    GotLife?: yea it's pretty serious
    Pain: so we peacin' on these dudes or what?
    Pain: it*
    Pain: I be gettin' high and forgettin' words a lot
    GotLife?: short term something loss haha
    Pain: lolol
    GotLife?: looks like that's it fam...*enter some cool way to say peace here*
    Pain: lol word, be easy muh fuckas
    test
  12. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    4,546
    IX. Interview w/ Annihilation(Claushouse)



    TaLi: LOL, Man, This would be a raw time to interview you lol

    Claushouse: do it, i have some anger to let out

    TaLi: HAHA, ok, Well, I was going to interview you if and when you won the title, but something happened along the way. What do you think about the outcome of the champ match you were involved in?

    Claushouse: I think it's consistent with the way alot of matches in this league go down, you shake your head and think "that was total bullshit". Not in the sense that I deserved to win, or I thought my verse was better, but in the sense that voting IS the RSTL; voting is the lifeblood of this league. I considered DQ'ing NinjaKid's vote because it said absolutely nothing and decided a championship match 5-4. I talked with you and Ana about it, and he made a good point that a bunch of the votes, not only in our match, but in general, were poor. I realized that I was just wanting to DQ it out of convenience, because of the situation, so I dropped it and took the loss, but the vote was still garbage.

    TaLi: A know a lot of people who wouldn't have taken the high road on that lol

    Claushouse: The history books don't look down and see that you lost by a vote, no is going to remember, and no one cares. I got my ass handed to me by InsaneVillain in 2003 like 6-4, and I deserved to lose. But no one will differentiate. In the end, you have to remember why you write on RM, which is to put up unique verses, work on your writing, make someone go "Wow", feel a sense in pride in what you wrote, etc. The accolades are definitely something worth striving for, but I don't think they are the reason we keep writing.

    TaLi: I don't think they ought to be. They certainly do provide some incentive though. Just wait till you see the tournament plaque things I've got set up lol. Well, since I've got you here, I'll ask you the same thing I ask every other older person who left and came back. What are the main differences between the league then and now?

    Claushouse: I think something newer cats don't realize is how much the line limit change is pretty huge. When I was last here it was 48, and now it's 60. I remember thinking "fuck, I wish I just had another 4 or 6 lines". I think it really helps flesh out the RSTL gendre without making voting too tedious. The hidden content is probably the biggest difference, and it's both a negative and a positive. On the one hand, it keeps people from being biased or not reading the battle. On the other, however, people are dumb. Having someone like Peril Eyez or Richard Corey dropping a vote and breaking down the positives and negatives and enlightening other voters on the allegory or the fact a verse was an overall metaphor for something else definitely helps slower or newer cats gain a better perspective of both verses. This hugely impacted how battles were won and lost. I look at the battle this week with Daddly Long Legs, and had it not been hidden content he would have won the battle because myself, Richard Corey and Anaphora, some of the best voters in this league, would have influenced subsequent votes. I remember beating FireSpitta 9-0 in a battle once lol. Then he went on to get a no-show championship belt a few weeks later (figures lol). That kind of voting trend doesn't happen anymore, for better or for worse.

    TaLi: Yeah, you haven't had the best of luck in this league so far lol

    Claushouse: Well that's not entirely true, you need a bit of luck to win any tournament haha. Which, by the way, actually reminds me that there were alot more cats in the league back then. In '02 the first tournament had 128 people, the No No-Show (which is a dope concept) has like 32. I heard when I.V. was running the league a bit after I left in 2003 he had it up to 70-80 people, actually strike that last sentence from the record lol, makes the league now look bad and it isnt, just less ppl
    Claushouse: and strike that one
    Claushouse: and that
    Claushouse: and that
    Claushouse: and that
    Claushouse: you can actually leave in everything i wrote until "k" that was kinda funny.
    Claushouse: bwhahaha

    TaLi: So, Yeah this week, because of the tournament, we're only going to have about 24 people signed in. And, in a stroke of good luck, circumstances made it so you didn't fall to far

    Claushouse: where am i fallin'

    TaLi: 9th

    Claushouse: awww that's just as bad as 10th :p

    TaLi: Usually champs fall to 10 or 11. I suppose lol, But you have homefield, until the title matdh

    Claushouse: what does homefield mean

    TaLi: It's just a joke, it will be like, competitor vs. you

    Claushouse: LOL

    TaLi: Anyways, is there anybody in the league that impresses you at all, more specifically people from the newer generation

    Claushouse: Lol, can I say Anaphora? I know he isn't new, but he still came in like 2 years after me, and I didn't know him until I came back into the fold last October. What impresses me the most is the overall package he brings to the league. I mean sure, he's got a belt, and won some nice matches vs. myself (both my losses are to him) and Rikoshay, among others, but more importantly he writes really nice and original pieces. I, among others, have criticized his flow before, and I think when he initially came back it was a valid enough point, but now his mechanics have definitely caught up to his storytelling abilities (even tho some cats still don't realize it). His knowledge of the english language and writing concepts are a huge asset to this league, both in terms of his writing and his voting. He's one of the best voters in the league, and he constantly drops thorough and relevant votes, which as I pointed out earlier, is what makes or breaks this league. He's a class act, too, so I think he's definitely impressed me the most, as I do cats like Richard Corey, who I think is probably THE model citizen of the RSTL.
    test
  13. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Joined:
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    TaLi: Haha, yeah he's a goodie goodie. If there is one thing about a lot of writers that you see today that you can't stand, what is it?

    Claushouse: Aside from shitty voting, ie, voting for Got Life? 4 months straight, definitely the convoluted imagery and overuse of adjectives. The Nietzche quote in Anaphora's sig probably says it best: "Those who know they are profound strive for clarity. Those who would like to seem profound strive for obscurity." I believe Richard Corey went to extensive lengths pointing this out in some novel-sized vote this week (I don't know because it was too long to read all of it), but there seems to be a trend in just avoiding clarity, conciseness and actual content in favor of stuff like "The stupendous surreal reality realizing immense imagination from the immaculate seamless mind of the morbidly metamorphosed like the ever-present beasts broad roaring esophagus’s syllabled prose" Then repeat that for 60 lines and leave the reader trying to decipher the tiny bits of actual story or character development. I love imagery and I think using it to evoke emotion, draw a reader in, accurately describe a situation or enhance a story or whatever is great, but when it becomes the verse, you lose all semblance of an actual piece.

    TaLi: LOL, nice shot at the beginning. I agree though. People get a little lost in the imagery sometimes and there ends up really being no substance as a result. For me, people do the same things to piss me off that they always did

    Claushouse: What's that?

    TaLi: Force rhymes, don't flow, force deepness lol, And oh yeah, shit grammar, And fucked up tenses

    Claushouse: yeah I hate it when people don't speak english so good

    TaLi: I understand if they don't. It's like whatever, but I can't help but be a little biased against it if it's totlaly screwin up the read

    Claushouse: Most of all, however, and I can't seem to reiterate this enough, is the need for improved voting. I think that, thanks in part to you starting a Voter of the Week award in the mags. I'm seeing recent entries like I Dunnno and Tha DQ dropping monster votes and I hope that it's a trend that will continue. I know I've been pretty harsh on NK in this interview, but I don't see how else to react. How else can we try to get across the message that it's NOT okay to avoid providing any specifics in your vote, it's NOT okay to show any bias, even if it's just in edging out battles. I voted against Tali like 3 or 4 weeks in a row, you have no idea how bad I felt, especially since he was dropping hot verses and we're real cool. IV pm'ed me after he voted against me vs. Tek apologizing lol, because we're pretty tight. You have to be objective, and you have to take the time to read the battles. It's alot of effort, but that's why you can sign in and back out at anytime.

    Tali works like 60 hours a week or whatever, mods, does the league, has a girlfriend, writes and posts extensive votes. NK probably didn't vote against me out of malice, and maybe he does think GL had the best verse week after week, but how the hell am I supposed to know, epsecially if you don't provide any detailed info? I mean you can hate on me and vote against me the rest of my life for calling you out, but in the end it just proves my point. I'd rather try to improve this league than duck the issue and garner your future votes. And let me iterate that this isn't a single case, there are alot of peeps not pulling their weight in the league (I've seen far worse).

    TaLi: Indeed. Don't forget I'm doing a Master's Thesis, But yeah, People don't have time to drop 16 lines lol, Bullshit

    Claushouse: I hope the mandatory 4-vote proposal will go into effect next week for no-show winners?

    TaLi: Yeah I'm glad you reminded me because I sort of forgot about it lol. Let me run a thought by you about this tournament. You tell me if you agree or disagree. With the line limit being 32 lines for the first two rounds or so, I think there is a huge advantage built in for those who are more proficient at writing topical verses. Your thoughts?

    Claushouse: I'd be inclined to agree. Let me use extremes to help bolster my point. Two weeks ago I'd spent hours on an Agatha Christie (not CLUE) type story. I had about 7 pages of notes, diagrams for the shooting, relative locations to where people claimed they were to where it took place, detailed character profiles, and a great overall concept, with a pretty snazzy photo. I had a great 120 line RSTL verse with NO color. In the end, I ended up with a 60 line verse that was far too thinly stretched out over too many characters. My ending did not originally come of nowhere, it tied in directly to the way the murder occurred, unfortunately I had to cut almost everything that made the verse great. This story was definitely the victim of line limitation. All story is. Story's need to be developed, and the more lines you have, the further you can develop it. Topicals can obviously benefit from more lines, but a few less supporting arguments doesn't affect your arching thesis, main point or moral that ties into your conclusion and is weaved through the main body of the verse. So yes, I think there is a built-in advantage.

    TaLi: I agree, do you see that being a problem for you though, or will you easily take this?

    Claushouse: I don't see it as being a problem, I'm a proponent of working within mediums as well as without. While I think one of the strong points of the RSTL is the fact that you have so much freedom in how you choose to write and that 32 lines is limiting, it's definitely something I support within the framework of a standalone tourament. As for easily taking this, I don't take anything for granted in this league. Perceptions vary across the board, and verses you post that you think are gold can get shot down, while a quick desperation piece you throw up like a prayer gets a ton of praise. I'd love to win a 2nd tournament.. especially since I can't seem to win a belt haha

    TaLi: haha, yeah nobody has won two tournaments yet that I know of, But yeah, I really wanna get at least in the final 4. That would be the last thing I haven't accomplished. Winning would be ideal but I could take final 4 and be happy

    Claushouse: The concept, as I've said before, is pretty dope. Should be one of the fairest tournaments held.

    TaLi: Any last bitching you want to do

    Claushouse: Yeah. I.V., you no-showing whore, you better be dead or in jail. He STILL has my original account lol, and he's never online.

    TaLi: LOL. Real quick, final four predictions for the tournament assuming the brackets worked out where the best made it

    Claushouse: excluding myself, nothing too original, probably Riko, Tali, Awedishin, Anaphora, although I'd certainly look out for Converse as well.
    test
  14. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    4,546
    X. Sweat the Small Shit (Nell Verse-Week 1)(Anaphora)


    From deep in a nightmare with evil i suddenly awoke

    Nightmare with evil is awkward phrasing. also, Evil is a very general work. Knowing where your verse is going, this is a missed opportunity to foreshadow later events, and if when you wrote the line you didn't know where you were going, just kinda free writing, this is where the second draft comes in handy, where you can go back and fix up parts that could be better, with rhymes or with more content.

    Horrific thoughts of murder subconsciously provoke

    Provoke what? You can't just end on provoke, because the reader doesn't know what the hell is being provoked. It could be that the subconscious thoughts are being provoked by the dream, or that you're being provoked to murcer by the subconscious thoughts.

    Helpless, my body under a dark force the demons win over

    In the words of my Mexican neighbors: Que? this line needs a lot of clarification, and also much more punctuation because it is broken into fragments as a sentence. <y thoughts would be add an is after body, comma after force, and cut the word over. That would help it about as much as it can be helped without a total overhaul.

    The rights to sanity and good parting with their owner

    Good is the improper conjugation here, it reads awkwardly. Goodness is probably what it should be.

    Like a strong current wickedness pulled me into it's path

    First of all, commas are your friend. When you want a reader to pause as they're reading, put it in there, it's ok. I know that old poem by David Kirby may have you scared, but don't be. (The Poem "Apostrophes From Hell": Trust no// comma experts// say, it could// be one// of them.) But mainly, here's one of the first of the bigger problems, which can be fixed by a simple change of words. You have to be in a current's path in the first place to be affected by it, if you're totally free from it, you'd just kinda watch the wickedness roll by like the Macy's parade, the wickedest parade of them all. If you changed "into it's" (which should be its, but I make that mistake alot too) to "along" that problem is cleared up quicker than you can say "Satan Shops at Macy's."

    Entranced and under spell i yielded to it's wrath

    OK, this is a classic case of double stating something. If you're under something's spell, you are obviously entranced, that's what it means to be under their spell, so you don't need to say them both. Also, it should be "under its spell," under spell sounds like Gandalf prematurely ejaculating. Also, make this a triple stating... if you're under its spell already, then you've already yielded to it.

    Time was on hold as i was dragged from my slumber
    Malicious thoughts sweeping me outside in moon lit summer

    there's a tense shift here, it's all in past tense until you get to sweeping, which is in the present tense... consistency in your tense is very important. Then also, "moon lit summer"... where is this happening? The moon is inexplicably in the sky 24/7? Is this at an Antarctica science research lab or something? But even then it would be sun lit summer...

    Feet moved involuntarily to a destination unknown

    Pronouns can be your friend, much as punctuation can be. You don't want to saturate your piece with either, but they do indeed help sometimes. Here, "My feet" would read much smoother than just "feet". Then "Destination Unknown"-- that's called an inversion... it is used on purpose sometimes for effect, but generally, it is used on purpose to sound poetic, and fails... this is an example of the latter.

    Seeds of evil sewn, sprouting quickly almost fully grown

    Clarity. Here, there needs to be more of it. Are the seeds of evil sprouting quickly, or are they quickly almost full grown?

    The moon illuminated a road to tradgedy while death filled the air

    Small thing- spelled tragedy. Typing the verse in Microsoft Word will help you pick out the spelling errors.

    Deathly white, visions blurred with despair

    What is deathly white? You, or the death filled air's? And if the death filled air is deadly white... first of all, does that mean it's foggy, smoky, opaque, translucent? Plus the repetition of death so close together is awkward. Then, who's vision is blurred?

    Blood raged and boiled from within but for what reason?

    "But for what reason" is an awkward way of saying "Why?"

    The signs pointed to murder, a strange mental treason?

    This line, is basically saying your mind killed your body... mental treason... here the rhyme is definitely driving the content, forcing the line to be awkward for the sake of the rhyme.

    I continued on the path magnetised to a wooded track

    This line brings to mind a line from Mystery Science Theater 3000 The Movie... where the protagonist's hands are suddenly clasped to handles, and he's unable to release them, and the antagonist says "the handles are magnetized." So Crow replies "And if your hands were metal, that would mean something."

    And further on i travelled drawn to a humble shack
    Faint memories stirred from distant echo's in my brain
    Dreadful thoughts and visions surfaced slowly, for reasons i couldn't explain
    Suddenly the door opened and i saw a distant light
    Through the door way my eyes searched but blackness hindered my sight
    Silence was broken as i stepped on floorboards that creak
    Mysteriously murky and damp my knees began to feel weak
    The light i had seen began to move closer till i could make out a candle
    In the living room perched on top of the mantle
    Nearing touching distance i reached out to the light

    Most of the above section is pretty clean... blackness hindered my sight is kinda meh, echo's is actually echoes, needs punctuation in places, like here, it should be "nearly touching-distance", instead of "nearly touching distance" because without the dash, it reads like the mantle is nearly touching the distance...

    But suddenly the flame flickered out wickedly hindering my plight

    Repetition of hinder... try to avoid that like you'd avoid having a Twinkie in your pocket at a live taping of Oprah... it will be discovered, and ruin your piece... haha, puns.

    My feet had begun to drag heavily and felt covered in water

    Covered in water is silly. They are soaked, submerged in, saturated, but not covered, because water runs off immediately, and they aren't covered anymore. You can be covered in blood, or your mom can be covered in jizzum, because they're thicker, just remember... blood and cum are thicker than water.

    And as i began to search for the door i remembered the slaughter
    As the smell of blood rushed into my lungs memories ran clear as day
    In cold blood my enemy had been slayed the debt was strange

    Slayed isn't a word, it's slain. Again, need more commas... here, after door, lungs, slain, and a period after day. It really does make reading smoother to know exactly where to pause.

    And thats when i woke from the dream and felt rough
    All these thoughts evolving minutes before the sun came up...

    As I said in my vote in this match, this is only the introduction to a much longer piece... there's nothing saying who was killed, he's called your enemy, but who is that? Who are you? Why is he your enemy? These sort of questions need to be answered in a piece...
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  15. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    4,546
    XI. Highway Robbery in the RSTL (Anaphora)

    First of all, I'd like to say that I respect Tha_DQ, for writing in English, which she confirmed wasn't her first language. It is definitely respectable to put forth the effort, and is very commendable. That said, it is a crime that she almost won her battle with Daddy Long Legs. In fact, the first three votes went her way. Reading her verse, I thought it was going to be completely the opposite. The rhyming was very simplistic, I didn't pick out a single multi-syllabic rhyme (which is what multi means for those who misuse the word... ie: This Rhyme- Kiss Time etc, near rhymes work too, assonance? Yep. But here? Nope. Nothing of the sort), the grammar was very often poor, pronouns lacking, words misused. These things happen, but when the other verse is very good, just a little on the short side, with proper mechanics, great imagery, is universal without being cliche or trite, these things shouldn't happen. The votes all commented on DQ's story being more complete. It is true, DQ's story was complete, however, so was Daddy Long Legs' story of a writer's struggle. And it is told with tons of multi's and a great flow... but some people apparently voted length instead of quality. It could be that they only skimmed DLL's verse due to its shortness, which is a shame. I believe he signed out, which is understandable... even though he technically didn't get a loss, the resulting tie proved that sometimes, well, I guess sometimes people just don't know what they're talking about, or they don't take the time to actually read the pieces they're voting on. Either way, this is a classic case of Highway Robbery in the RSTL.
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  16. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Joined:
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    XII. Random Tournament Babble​


    There has been quite a bit of fuss over the rankings that the four moderators came up with. The idea is that us four would rank them and then we’d combine the four and come up with the average. That seemed to be about the fairest way to do it and it probably is. However, I have a few little things I’d like to point out.

    First, I think a few people got screwed pretty hard. When I did my ranks, I did it based on a mix of accomplishments and perceived skill level. In that sense, I think MadPoet and TekneeK got rammed pretty hard. Unavailable got looked over as usual. I think Malosovich and Pain could have been a few spots higher. Rikoshay made it pretty clear that his was more a “what have you done for me lately” sort of thing mixed with perceived skill level. I’m not sure what criteria Pent and Malo used. I’m sure all of us had different criteria but that was sort of the point.

    The other thing to watch out for is some of the unknowns. I know personally that H.Notik & Tax shouldn’t be slept on. I have no clue who Ribonuclease is but he managed to get ranked up high somehow. Folks like Unavailable, Mad Poet, and Formal Logic haven’t been around for a little while so they’re probably fresh. Also, some of the people who got ranked lower than they think they should have been will be dangerous too because of that added motivation.

    The funny thing is that, although there aren’t a high number of participants, the talent level itself is pretty deep. There are going to be some really good matches throughout the tournament. I just hope I’m a part of a few of them. ​
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  17. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Joined:
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  18. Tha_DQ

    Tha_DQ Expected The Unexpected

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    143
    To be honest, I was amazed at getting votes in that battle haha. I completely rushed that verse and put a very lame twist in the ending. I didn't even get into the characters or overall scene at all. So I basically agree with what Anaphora said right there haha. I'm trying to put more effort into my rhymes but with work, performances and school it's not always easy to write a killer verse. I'm currently reading the dictionary (believe it or not) to improve my English. I didn't know my grammar was that bad though. I just leave out words and such but that's part of my poetic soul haha.

    Nice magazine, I always enjoy reading it.
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  19. J o o k

    J o o k Guest

    go0d mag my people
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  20. .:Pain:.

    .:Pain:. Futurely J. Keeper

    Joined:
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    10,365
    For the record, I've voted against Got Life? two or three times, and only voted on about 5 battles of his. Don't brand me biased without doin' yo research muh'fucka. And lol at malice towards you anni, I don't know you AT ALL, so how could I have any feelings at all towards you?


    Dope mag though, this was actually one of my favorite mags I've read in a while...
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