best punchlines of all time...

Discussion in 'Battle Video Archives' started by lpsmind, Jan 7, 2009.

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  1. Wonka

    Wonka OTBVA 2v2 Champ

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    But it's me, Solomon, not Critical you dissin'. So it's critical you listen. See, talent, the thing that's most critical is missing. So I'll have you're career in critical condition.*
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  2. avocado

    avocado Well-Known Member

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    "America's having an obesity epidemic, its nice to know latino's are legally represented"
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  3. Rone

    Rone New Member

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    one of the best flips i ever heard was an early...i think saurus illmac two on two? not positive...anyway, one person, i believe illmac had a jacket that said analog on the back, and one of the cats they were battling called him an "anal o.g."...mad original, sick sick line.
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  4. intuition21

    intuition21 good music and stuff.

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    pretty sure that was Calliz from Joint Custody.
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  5. Pavan

    Pavan Active Member

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    That´s right, couldn´t remember exactly but was a great line.

    Two flips from Illmac and Saurus from the Fresh Coast DVD had me dying.
    Ilmac said: "The champ is here, easy! The only time you carry slugs is when you have your Atmosphere CD" Hahaha, or something along these lines.

    And Saurus: "I´ll show you how it´s done proper! Uuuuuh, the hardest dude on a concert full of lesbians and punk rockers" Hahaha, great.
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  6. CrayonFlux

    CrayonFlux New Member

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    no doubt, tight line that should have been mentioned much earlier

    "homie im a henny addict this is how lenny kravitz would look as a skinny faggot" ~ Iron Solomon to NoCanDo.

    "this is the twinbrother of Chris Tucker as a dicksucker" ~ The Saurus to Tut.

    "your so much of a transsexual its damn spectacle to stand next to ya" ~ KilenM to Madness

    "this is the missing link between Michael Jackson and Mic Assassin" ~ Lush One to Sahtyre

    "youre a broke poor bitch, you should suck no more dick kuz u got cold soar lips and a cokewhores lisp" ~ Illmaculate to Syanide

    "i would murder presence but in a week he'll die of natural causes" ~ The Saurus to Presence

    "matta fact, u so short u could probably skydive from a sidewalk" ~ Diabolic to Iron Solomon
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  7. fresco 5

    fresco 5 Well-Known Member

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    "my niggas don't feel anything beneath heaven/ we squeeze weapons, unload and keep steppin/ you act like you want it I'll give you a free lesson/ 1 to 2 shots could kill you in 3 seconds/ and turn you to a part of someones complete breakfast/ and this nigga here I turn to a refreshment!"

    hom to sage / don p
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  8. dronedout

    dronedout New Member

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    Yeah that line is still dope as fuck 8/9 years later.that ones definitely my favorite of all time plus its from juice one of the most original cats ever
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  9. RealDeal412

    RealDeal412 New Member

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    "You and ya man are softer than a pair of doves, and you just repeat what he says like a parot does" Iron to Flames
    "I'll embarass this wack dude, who put nair in your shampoo and paired you with Erika Badu" Illmac to Presence and Illspoken
    "I'm a crazy genius of sorts, your washed up without the net like Lacey Petersons Corpse" some dude in a text battle
    "I'm battling some lil crackhead and the monster under illmacs bed" Kid Twist to Thesaurus and Illmac
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  10. O2_Debt

    O2_Debt True Temper

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    "you can rap like this but you're not gonna win" rhymefest to Lepienso

    "I bring the heat y'all. I slap rhymers. I am kiefer sutherland. boooooop...flatliners"
    -Presence to Thesaurus (Thesaurus whooped him but I still like that line a lot for some reason)

    "Real quick this is how I do, 'Hello?...you're looking for wackness?....alright its for you.'" Presence to Illmaculate
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  11. Credintials

    Credintials IRS can suck my books

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    "I'm a bad guy and the only thing that I'm good at//is puttin muthafuckas on they back like a bookbag"- Hom
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  12. Minkaveli

    Minkaveli VoKab

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    That line was crazy!
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  13. Stackdoe

    Stackdoe New Member

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    'i got so many ways to diss you that im playful wit you, i'll let a razor slit you til they have to staple stitch you, and everybody in this fuckin place will miss you if you try to turn my facial tissue to a racial issue'

    'you just dropped your damn mic, you aint really grippin it' - not the best punch but timing was awesome.
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  14. EmceeGoddess

    EmceeGoddess Disgruntled Man

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    any lines not everyone has heard 50000000 times?
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  15. EmceeGoddess

    EmceeGoddess Disgruntled Man

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    "his name is cycic so he already knows hes gonna lose!" - awk to cycic

    "u see that sign outside u gotta be THIS tall to battle" - awk to mic the mos

    "beatin me is ya rap fantasy.. ex i go back to the cover of mad magazine" fredo to ex i

    "this aint right/ a class, the only asian pussy that aint tight" - some dude to a class

    "i got intelligent juice/ call the bronx zoo, tell em the elephants loose" - frankie rip to fat ray

    "franco is fresh and i be burnin motherfuckers like the angel of death" - franco to illmac i believe

    "he started pacin.. took marshalls cadence on carbon paper and started tracin" - franco to illmac

    "ima stomp this dinosaur to fossil fuel" - illmac to presence
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  16. Freemason

    Freemason New Member

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    i dont think this human ever had the torch, so what the fuck are you acting fantastic four(for)
    -juce to jonny storm
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  17. Lush One

    Lush One MR. CALIFORNIA

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    Ask Beavis, I get nutthin but head
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  18. Stackdoe

    Stackdoe New Member

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    'he's a dis-figured queer with a ginger beard, claims he drinks but gets drunk off ginger beer'
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  19. RealDeal412

    RealDeal412 New Member

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    "I hit the tree harder than Sonny Bono" Slim
    "Show no compassion like having a straight faced orgasm" Diabolic
    "Sick as Eazy E teaching sex ed on his death bed" Diabolic
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  20. Sakim Aerias

    Sakim Aerias Sunset Cradling Prince

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    "Aint it 2 billion people in china? you can't even go platinum over there"
    Serius to Jin

    "You outta this world I swear you wanna B.E.T( Be ET) but couldn't be if you worked here"
    Loaded lux to Nasefelon

    "I take the pin out and throw the grenade BOOOM! last time you hearin ya name"
    Steel to Kaboom

    "I guess the only way you can give this guy a chance, is if he got on stage and fuckin river danced"
    Thesaurus to some random guy but the timing was perfect cause the guy was dancing in the middle of TS' verse

    "You don't think I know about your little girlfriend Thee tha down in miami beach she fucked my man spliff Star"
    Remy to lady luck the fact that it was a personal and true was classic...guess dykes aint the only thing takin L's out here

    "You know I had to hesitate cuz it looked like someone tried to replicate leatherface"
    Illmac to thesaurus

    "Yo bitch a cokehead like britney I fed her lines like kevin bitch"
    Quest to illmac

    "You loved my girlfriend so much you hooked up with the chubby version."
    Kid twist to prolific

    "What the hell dude, stop rappn and go sell shoes, after he lost that battle he went to his dad got down on his knees and said I have failed you"

    "You were pretty much wack when your writing all your songs, so why don't you go back to where you were born and finish re-writing the remix to the lion king song" I said that to tut in a battle last year

    "I can tell you I be analyzing his lines he said words connect words connect about 6 times"
    Jin to Verse

    "Your correct eve did leave so you interested? Ruff ryders needs a new Bitch."
    Jin to Shells

    "And why is Jin really vagina, and why is Jin's buzz in new york aint like it is in china?"
    Shells to Jin

    "And you know you can't fuck with me cuz you a light as queen and matter fact smack get a closeup on this nigga's tight ass jeans"
    Serius to mook
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