Another parenting thread..lol

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Short2003, Jul 7, 2005.

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  1. Short2003

    Short2003 AbsoluteHotness

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    They way you were raised or the way you raise your children has: somewhat, alot or little to do with the way they are growing up. Me and my friend have this discussion all the time, she thinks it has everything to do with the way you raise your kids, I say it is only has somewhat of an effect.. What are your opinions on this?
    I'll just drop an example:
    She is close to a family that are basically all alcoholics, one of the children is now hitting 17 and has been caught drinking a few times. She thinks OMG, that kid is doomed to be an alcoholic, he's gonna be fucked up just like his family. That's all he saw growing up and so-on.... I think: Well he is a teenager experimenting, yeah him being around it all the time is where he picked it up from but that doesnt necessarily mean that he is going to turn out like his family. Everyone is their own person and maybe he will be different.. Just an example.
    Im sticking with my somewhat answer.. Discuss
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  2. illustrate

    illustrate watch my shoes

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    i think that's bullshit. it has somethin to do with it' somewhat but the way someone turns out depends on them. i grew up with alot of alcoholics in my family and that actually pushed me the other way. i don't even like drinkin like that i'll drink now and then at a party or whatever but i cant let that shit be a habbit. i can't see myself bein an alcoholic fuck that.
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  3. Short2003

    Short2003 AbsoluteHotness

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    I was raised in a house with alot of drinking also and Im not an alcoholic even though there was a time when I was on the path. I keep saying, it just depends on the kid too. Me and my sister arent like my parents at all...
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  4. Chokolate

    Chokolate Melts N Ya Mouth

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    All teens are going to experiment with something at some point but I think how you raise them has alot to do with how far they'll take that. My mom let me know what was up with sex, drugs, liquor the whole 9 and yes b/c it was around (uncles, cousins etc) I wanted to know what all the hype was about so I tried weed and drinks. But because she let me know from jump street what was up and she raised me to be a strong minded person I'm not hooked on anything, in and out of jail, living in the bricks or have multiple babies father alot of ppl around here.
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  5. mama21

    mama21 panama-red@blackplanet

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    it has everything to do with the way you were raised. although there's no one way, or better way to raise your child, but it is up to both parents to take responsibility or make do with what you have and do the best that you can. some will raise their kids different from their parents.i guess that's the beautiful part about being an individual.it could also depend on if your parents were a negative or positive force in your life as a child.
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  6. Hidden_Poetry

    Hidden_Poetry New Member

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    For me personally I've done EVERYTHING different in my adult life then the way I was raised. But I did this because I didn't want to repeat. I didn't want that life, So now I'm raising my boys how I FEEL they should be raised and not how my mom and her generation's did. Both my mom and dad are into drugs. My mom more so now then ever. I've tried ONCE when I was 12, and NEVER again after that. I see their life, I don't want that. It wasn't anything "exciting" for me. There is a history of alcoholic's as well, and it's RARE for me to drink and I don't just drink to drink at home, but only when I go out. Which is rarely ever lol.

    I agree with what someone said above as well, seeing and living what I did as a child made me go the other direction.
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  7. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    To an extent....every situation is different, but I've definitely seen a lot of cases where it was very obvious that the parent's actions influenced the children.

    I mean me and my sister joke around a lot that we learned everything NOT to do from our parents...so even with that obviously heavily influenced us, but in the opposite direction.

    However..I don't think just b/c you come from a family of alcoholics, ect, you're automatically destined to become one. Yes your chances are much higher, but it doesn't mean it's going to happen. However it doesn't mean you are going to learn from your family's mistakes either.

    It does bug me though when people think they are on some pre-determined path or blame all their problems on a fucked up childhood. Yes, the shit some people go through growing up is terrible but once you hit a certain age there's nothing stopping you from taking control of your life and stop carrying on the dysfunction.
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  8. illpoetical

    illpoetical raising the bar everyday

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    from what i have learned in alcoholism classes, peopel that are exposed to alcoholics can be predisposed to be alcoholics, a large % of the time the children become drinkers because that is what they were exposed to all of their lives. i think it can be one way or the other you either become an alcoholic or dont drink at all. but even you said that you were on the path but changed your ways. the same sex parent is the strongest role model for children, they are gonna imitate their parents. he might not become an alcholic if he can turn himeself around, but he is more likely to fall into alcoholism easier if he continues to drink all of the time.
    test
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