Another one so soon, - Check this out..

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by LOGiC, Jun 9, 2003.

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  1. LOGiC

    LOGiC Guest

    "Untitled" ...Unfinished, lol.. I dabbled with it a bit - wasn't feeling it as much as I would of liked to.

    Whenever I feel down; my hands are touching the floor
    A tear drop drips under my pores; so I'm wearing flip-flops
    I'd like nothing more than for hip-hop, to be there.
    But I need air, to breathe.. Well I wish I could breathe real air,
    My mind only allows what my Heart doesn't, I'm tucked in a cloud;
    My reigns aren't comin' - A cotton swab is stuffed in the sound.
    Its hard lovin' life, when lifes' love doesn't need you..
    Doesn't feed you fruits of labor - no cater; to know what its like.
    Its tough despite, the roughness In the colds' night air.
    I run from writing; Theres no care that I wish to flair & push up..
    ..LIGHT; Is the only jump that I proceed to head towards.
    Push my head into the headboard - A guide to death is my mentor.
    test
  2. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
    Messages:
    11,131
    i like that... this was pretty nice even though u arent feeling it...
    test
  3. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
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    "I'd like nothing more than for hip-hop, to be there.
    But I need air, to breathe.. Well I wish I could breathe real air,"


    I found this a very interesting piece with metaphorical, indepth statements that caught my eye easily. I really was digging this piece, because it was different and not anything you see each day, well from what you were trying to say and define with each type of similarity. Such as a the cloud line, feel me? Other than that, it was a very nicely done piece. My blessings..
    test
  4. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    Nicely writtin. I gotta agree with tuned this was interesting, had alot of deep lines in it. Creative....

    one luv
    test
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