"..Another Fairy Tell"

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Definit_, Nov 2, 2006.

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  1. Definit_

    Definit_ P0ETiiCLiiCHE'

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2005
    Messages:
    207
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Our loves floating
    in the bottom of the ocean.
    Thank God I didn’t hold my breath
    or else I would of drowned
    this love and myself.
    Nothing left, but a wave goodbye

    No one inspires me.
    My roles models
    can’t even walk the runway right
    so why imitate them?

    Plane & simple,
    we’ve tried to accelerate
    our love, but it won’t take off
    because you’ve got too much baggage
    & it’s weighing us down

    We’ve tried
    2 many times, 2 many lies
    and it just doesn’t add up
    to the route of our problems.
    Your nothing more then
    a fraction of my heart, a,
    beautiful distraction from the start
    & I can’t help but to look a way

    You don’t need to turn the page,
    I’ve read this story already.
    & sorry to spoil the ending
    but there is no you and I
    in the forever after’s.
    The end.


    Pz.



    --^^Venting, I've Got Something A Little More Creative In The Works..Bare With Me

    test
  2. Natty LoCs

    Natty LoCs RIP "Pud"

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2004
    Messages:
    101
    No one inspires me.
    My roles models
    can’t even walk the runway right
    so why imitate them?

    i'm loving these lines...i like the flow of it....very nice drop
    test
  3. MC_Paste

    MC_Paste

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2004
    Messages:
    2,727
    liked it .. I don't really have nothing else to say I like your style
    test
  4. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 1999
    Messages:
    2,986
    This was done well

    Our loves floating
    in the bottom of the ocean.
    Thank God I didn’t hold my breath
    or else I would of drowned
    this love and myself.
    Nothing left, but a wave goodbye

    ^love how you took the ocean image and used "wave" goodbye.....deep...and caught me right from the start


    No one inspires me.
    My roles models
    can’t even walk the runway right
    so why imitate them?

    ^interesting

    Plane & simple,
    we’ve tried to accelerate
    our love, but it won’t take off
    because you’ve got too much baggage
    & it’s weighing us down

    ^planes and take off....and baggage.....one of my favorite stanzas

    We’ve tried
    2 many times, 2 many lies
    and it just doesn’t add up
    to the route of our problems.
    Your nothing more then
    a fraction of my heart, a,
    beautiful distraction from the start
    & I can’t help but to look a way

    ^some math

    You don’t need to turn the page,
    I’ve read this story already.
    & sorry to spoil the ending
    but there is no you and I
    in the forever after’s.
    The end.

    ^and the story


    I love the play on words.....I didnt expect this but it worked
    test
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