An American Warrior's Dilemma(feedback please)

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Ungdly Lyrics, Apr 9, 2004.

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  1. Ungdly Lyrics

    Ungdly Lyrics Ungodly Lyrics

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    Most would call me a religious man
    But I'm the man who destroys things in other lands
    At the same time I'm there to lend a helping hand
    Thoughts bombard me when I gaze upon my fallen brothers
    I proceed to charge my M-16 n Kill those mothafuckas
    But as I do it my mind erupts with sorrow
    Knowing that these are also human being that won't see their families tomorrow
    Such is my dilemma I can't help but question authority
    But I'm constantly told a hollow eyed killer is what I ought to be
    Other nations have terrible thoughts of me
    I don't wanna be percieved that way
    Yet I go on and do my calling day after day
    Simplistic people send me words of ridicule
    But I've seen...men covered in blood and sweat their chins drippin with drool
    Crazy eyed vengeance courses in my veins when I patrol foreign streets
    For the country that I serve which has yet to meet a true defeat
    I still go on with my work killin enemies and I have yet to cease
    I'm a member of the sickest team...the United States Marines.
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  2. This poem is what has come out of conflict. The situation you are in, and the conflicting thoughts you have towards what you are doing. The helping and the killing, was a cruel and true balance to this piece. It was quite powerful, and flowed pretty well throughout.
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  3. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

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    wow. is really all i can say. i think what brit said was perfect in describing this . ^
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  4. MaMi•2•CruCiaL

    MaMi•2•CruCiaL ¤I OwN U¤

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    I really like the opener

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  5. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

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    Nice poem, really. Risking your life to protect and serve, yet you face what seems even tougher every minute of your life. I can't speak on that b/c I'm not there, but someone's got to do the job, if that's what you feel is best to call it (could've picked a better term). Really interesting that I read this.
    -Peace
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  6. ChyllTyrant

    ChyllTyrant AmIEternalOrAnEternalist?

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    people who work for the marines definitely don't see the bigger picture at all.

    i have definite conflict with this poem. that's all i can say.

    PEACE
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  7. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    not bad...nice to see something different in here....i like the concept but i think u could have drawn out the story a bit more..still a nice piece

    welcome to the realm..dont forget to hit up some other peopels pieces

    uPIn
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