Agonizing Bliss

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by lpoet, Aug 7, 2003.

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  1. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    They say I’m gifted,
    Spiritually uplifted…
    I’d never before admit this
    But my heart always saw
    What my minds eye pretended
    Not to see…
    I spit in the water
    Ashamed of the reflection
    Of the man I had grown to be..
    Finally realized that the
    Only one on my side
    Was me, so I
    Outstretched my arms and
    Rolled up my sleeves…
    Slit both writs and
    created my own red sea
    Dying to breath…
    not yet gasping for air
    I’m trying hard to believe
    But I just cant picture him there
    We entered the kingdom
    They continued on, but
    I was not allowed to proceed
    Because I was living the very
    Life that I begged of them
    Not to lead…
    Hiding from all emotions
    Refusing to let anyone in
    Ignoring the soothing rhythm of
    My heartbeat
    Thus…befriending my only friend

    Loving the hate
    Addicted to the shame
    I’d look for a way out
    ....But I don’t want to change…
    test
  2. unspoken1

    unspoken1 Revolutionary Wordsmen

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    758
    Outstretched my arms and
    Rolled up my sleeves…
    Slit both writs and
    created my own red sea
    Dying to breath…


    my favorite part.....this was a incredibly ill piece as usual nice job
    test
  3. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    17,331
    "Outstretched my arms and
    Rolled up my sleeves…
    Slit both writs and
    created my own red sea"

    Remember when you first showed me, one of the dopest lines you ever wrote...Liked the ending alot too

    one luv
    test
  4. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

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    1,110
    Well I see you got past writer's block, and with some dope deepness...very well written and expressed nice work...keep droppin


    peace
    test
  5. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

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    11,131
    lol everyone the same quotable part... i wanted to quote it too... lovely poem indeed
    test
  6. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

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    yep- that was awesome
    test
  7. Deficiency

    Deficiency True Poetical Emcee

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    454
    this is good.. Good piece
    test
  8. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

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    well i had a different favorite part......

    "I spit in the water
    Ashamed of the reflection
    Of the man I had grown to be.."
    ^^
    totally loved that.....

    this is a damn good piece from you.....i love your style man....
    test
  9. j$crILLa

    j$crILLa ~$crillVille~

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    12,589
    nice, lots of emotion, a story, deep, i can hear the feelings....
    test
  10. i really liked this man, kinda morbid, but i kno you ain't had it easy, thanks for sharing..peace
    test
  11. Dark_Angel

    Dark_Angel Dark_Angel

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    798
    all quotes quoted i loved, this whole peice was awsome, really felt it...
    test
  12. vinous

    vinous New Member

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    this was a very powerful and moving piece. luv the way each word flows into the next with ease.

    lovin the endin, esp. pz.
    test
  13. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    "Loving the hate
    Addicted to the shame
    I’d look for a way out
    ....But I don’t want to change…"


    i like how you ended it. Yea it was alittle morbid, but you did a good job of getting some emotions out. nice piece


    stay up, much love, peace
    test
  14. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

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    This would have to be my favorite piece of the whole poem, its what I've thought about in my dreams, but never went to act upon it...anyway, nice drop...
    test
  15. Quant'm PhysX

    Quant'm PhysX Kundalini Poltergeist

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    Very nice drop Indeed...

    "But my heart always saw
    What my minds eye pretended
    Not to see…"

    beautifully expressed...much love

    peace
    test
  16. Self-Krysis

    Self-Krysis New Member

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    1,836
    very nice.. and great expression was feelin it the whole way
    test
  17. That_Bitch

    That_Bitch Stimulatin' your mind

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    Aug 10, 2003
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    Very deep. I love the flow and structure. But I've read your work before and have come to expect this.
    test
  18. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    12,678
    thanks for the love
    test
  19. NAiT

    NAiT myself

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    1,243
    This seemed real simple at first and just kinda lame........but then I felt it. Getting mad at everyone else for being uncaring and distant, while your screaming it *at* a distance. I defintely know what your saying. If that was what your saying.....ah well.
    test
  20. Nasty__Ness

    Nasty__Ness The Queen of Topicals

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    well I would quote ya... but there is not one single part I would quote.... because if I did it would be the entire poem.

    This is a very powerful and visual piece. Really speaks to many... and I have a similar piece that has the same sort of ending.

    Keep it up...

    BTW... I love reading ya work....
    test
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