a vary on variation

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by T.R.C...., Sep 11, 2010.

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  1. T.R.C....

    T.R.C.... New Member

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    sick rhymes are embedded so deep in my heads it comes out in intesive bursts
    this is the kind of shit people see an shout i wish i penned it first
    acidic like venomious spurts ya flesh is burnt first second an third degree
    i disperse a verse with the power to devour earth an sea its mental acrobatics
    keepin it fresh like its wrapped in plastics 2 plus 2 equals fuck you its mathematics
    im just spittin random rhymes with no tact or tactics but its still hot
    no tellin when i will stop probably when i come down from all these pills popped
    im kiddin i snort them to get a shrill shock an when they enter my bloodstream
    i can spit fire so hot when im done my lungs steam see what i produce is great
    and though im not in a lucid state i assure you this is not somethin you can duplicate
    try an you'll suffer a breakdown and no matter how arrogant this may sound
    to put it simply you a two legged beagle an im a greyhound
    ive sealed ya fate now like i was the grim reaper minus the cloak an scicle
    i could make you choke on spittle or cut ya throat with a shard of broken crystal
    im not sayin nothin new quite possibly im just stuck in a loop
    while hung from a noose i'll crap in a bag an replace ya lunch with a duce
    but dont weep or cry just open the bag eat shit an die



    http://board.rapmusic.com/open-mic/1236264-token-introspective-verse-but-its-you-know-good.html
    http://board.rapmusic.com/open-mic/1236507-king-903-a.html
    test
  2. Poetic Concept

    Poetic Concept New Member

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    You came off really hard in the beginning then you started to decline quite a bit but the best like was...

    what i produce is great
    and though im not in a lucid state i assure you this is not somethin you can duplicate


    It was decent tho could use a revision or two
    test
  3. cram oremor

    cram oremor New Member

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    the rhyme is legit, kinda lost the flow of it for a minute but im sure if i heard you spittin it my head would get it.
    test
  4. T.R.C....

    T.R.C.... New Member

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    thanks man i appreciate you takin the time to read and critique this in adition to other aspects ima work at being consistent throughout
    test
  5. cram oremor

    cram oremor New Member

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    how long you been rhyming?
    test
  6. T.R.C....

    T.R.C.... New Member

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    its been on and off for a while i started when i was 15 rhymed through to 18 then i stopped for about 4 years and i just started writin again a few weeks ago
    test
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